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Weekly Hint Archives - 2008
This article is dedicated to my friend, Lindsay, just
sixteen years of age, who went to heaven too early. Friday was her last
day on earth due to a fatal automobile accident.
I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye, nor did many
that knew her well. Her immediate friends had talked, called, and texted
her that very day about the upcoming preference dance activities, the neighbors
were busy and going this way and that as we all do on a Friday. Her sister
had come home for the weekend and together they were going to out for the evening. It was so normal, so very normal.
And yet the day ended so different than any of us expected. Some neighbors
even passed the accident on the freeway and didn’t know they were passing the
trauma of a good friend’s goodbye. Others of us heard on Saturday
morning as the wildfire of sadness spread through the neighborhood and out
through the town. And so today, in all the order that we try to find in our lives, let’s pace our lives to say “Hi” when we greet and “Bye” when we depart with a bit of “I love you always” just in case it is the last time and we never get to say “Hello” again. Let’s make sure that each and every greeting sends the love we share with those we care about most. I saw Lindsay just a few days ago, bright and happy,
glowing about the eyes as was her nature. I wish now that my wave had been
a bit more kind, a bit more cheerful, and a bit more showing of the tenderness I
felt for her. I will mourn with her family this week and as I wave,
or greet people, or say goodbye, I will try to do it differently. As we go
and come, hurry and push through our activities, let’s all remember to slow
down enough that our “Hi-Byes” are deeply felt, deeply expressed, and deeply
shown expressions of our emotions. And so to you my friends, I say “Bye,
I love you” with hopes that there will be many more “Hi-Byes” between us! P.S. As you may know, I am a member of
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Our son, Evan, would have
been 19 this upcoming Saturday, November 1. He did not get to serve a
mission for our Church. However, my husband was recently called to serve
in the branch presidency at the L.D.S. Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah
and I will serve with him three to four days a week. In some ways we will
serve a “mission” in Evan’s behalf. Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
October
22, 2008 Choice is Good, Too Much Choice is Confusing One of the more important skills I have learned is that giving choices increases success in our interactions with others, especially those we nurture. However, giving too much choice can be both confusing and frustrating.
May I explain? When we work with children,
especially young ones, we maintain their dignity and independence by giving them
choices. At the same time we want to limit the choices so they feel safe
in their response, knowing they have “given the right answer” and are
pleasing us. If we offer too much choice, we give too much latitude
for non-compliance because the child becomes uncomfortable and moves easily
towards defiance. For instance, “It is time to set the table. When
would you like to begin?” is full of too much choice. Oops, that is very
wide-open and leads to, “I don’t want to do it. Not now, not later,
not ever. And you can’t make me.” On the other hand, if you approach the same situation
with fewer choices, success is likely to follow. “It is time to set the
table now. Would you like to put on the forks or spoons first?” Stating what needs to be done and thus establishing the
“timing” eliminates that choice. Offering several choices within the
parameters “of its time to set the table now” helps a child move from
whether or not they will comply to which of the choices within compliance they
would prefer. I cannot overstate the importance of working with
children with a firm but gentle tone to increase motivation, completion of their
tasks, and a desire to please. “Its eight o’clock and time to prepare for bed.
Shall we do it right this second or immediately after I have said the alphabet
backwards?” “I see that you haven’t picked up your towel in the
bathroom. Would you like me to watch you do it or stand in the doorway
with my back turned and then inspect afterwards?” In these same situations, when we are loose,
non-specific, and vague we are in trouble. “Its time to get ready to bed” is a statement is so
broad and with so many choices it is unlikely we will get anyone to bed anytime
soon. “Your towel is on the bathroom floor. Make sure
to pick it up before you run outside to play.” Again, the choices are
too many. Do it now, do it later, don’t do it and hope Mom won’t
remember until I’m off to sleep tonight? All are possibilities to
ponder. As you go about your work this week, look for ways to
interact with those you nurture with specific instructions and a choice or two,
but don’t give too much leeway. Success is sure to follow as you take
charge, offer some choices, and expect to be obeyed. Good luck. Parenting, nurturing, and teaching are
hard. But, oh the wonder of it all! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
October 15, 2008 Don't Put It Down, Put It Away
So many of us live in halfway houses. Yes, our
homes are full of items which are half way home. They have been put down,
but not put away. A magazine is lost because it never made it back to its
magazine “home”. A pair of shoes is useless because one shoe is
missing (and your son remembers getting them in the door, but not where he
decided to take them off). The milk is soured because it was left next to
the refrigerator instead of inside. And on and on goes the list.
When this principle rises to the surface of my life, I
begin to look at others who might be the offenders, only to discover that I have
many places where I would prefer to put down instead of putting away. And
it also seems when I begin to “put away” instead of putting down, others
follow my example. Here are several principles which have helped me. DESIGNATE “homes” which are well-known to all family members. “The extra package of toilet paper is to be kept inside the right hand door under the sink in the bathroom.” “The milk goes on the top shelf on the right hand side. No other frig items go in this area.” “Empty soda cans are to be put in this family room wastebasket which will be emptied once a week into the recycling bin.” “All garden shoes are to be put on the garage shelves next to the back door when you come into the house.” More WASTEBASKETS make it easier to “put away”
trash instead of cluttering up a room. Where people sit, where you stand,
where trash is “made” are all good places for another wastebasket. A
wastebasket in the laundry room for the dryer lint, a wastebasket in each
bedroom, wastebaskets in the garage, the backyard, and in the unfinished
basement storage room If someone consistently puts something down instead of
putting it away, that usually becomes the new “home” where the item is
looked for when it is needed next. Therefore, it is important to keep
things in the FIRST convenient place whenever possible. For instance, keys
are going to be “found” easier next to an exit then anywhere else in the
home because the farther you get into the home, the more places there will be
“to put down” the keys instead of putting them away. As you go about life this week, look for putting away. Try to change one habit for seven straight days and watch order increase in your routines! Good luck, my House of Order friends! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
October 8, 2008 Master Menu for Two While this won’t apply to all of you in this season
of your life, it is an idea I would like to share, mostly because many problems
in our lives are answered with small adjustments in our management style. In this case, I received a request for a simple Master Menu for Two from a family
who have a busy lifestyle and desire not to eat out so frequently. As you
can see, several principles are incorporated.
1) Never cook a meal without cooking two meals.
This allows a second evening to be relatively free of cooking hassle and still
provide good nutrition. 2) Have a written, posted plan so the first
person home knows what's for dinner and can make initial preparations (unthaw
meat, set the table, or prepare fruits and vegetables). By this I mean,
let others help once the plan is in place. “John, would you set the
table when you get home from work each night. I’ll plan to prepare the
vegetables and serve the fruit for each evening meal. Let’s plan to eat
together at 6 p.m.” 3) The start-up week is the hardest because the
pattern is new, the routines unfamiliar, and there are no leftovers to rely
upon. However, this is like most new changes in our life. It is only
with practicing that it gets easier and becomes comfortable. 4) The Master Menu isn’t to make life staid and
uninteresting, it is to aid and release the cook from “deciding.” When
there is more time and interest, recipe books can come out, new ingredients
tried, and an unusual eating experience anticipated. For the most part,
however, just getting a good meal on the table will fulfill the daily needs of a
smaller family. Also, I have finished the monthly half-page 2009 calendars which you can download. Several House of Order Friends used the ones I posted last year and requested them again. Happy organizing! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
October 1, 2008 Calendars for 2009 Today, I'd like to explore 2009 just a little bit. During the last quarter of the year, I usually need to see the structure of the new year. You may find that having next year’s calendars at hand will be beneficial to you, too.
I have two free 2009 calendar downloads as these are the ones I use the most: a whole-page calendar, a half-page calendar, and then twelve different monthly planner calendars (the ones with the lines). Print the ones you can use and post them near every phone, wherever you tend to think (I especially use the one near my kitchen stove and in the bathroom), or put them in your planner. You will notice we will have a regular February in 2009 and Easter will be mid-April on the 12th. Mother’s Day will be earlier in the month whereas Father’s Day comes quite late. Independence Day is on a Saturday as is Halloween and Labor Day happens rather late. Christmas Day begins a long weekend as does New Year’s Day 2010. A fun family activity includes memorizing the following 12 numbers know a lot about 2009 without having a calendar in front of you. Those numbers are 411‑537‑526‑416. These are the dates of the first Sunday of each month during 2009. From there it is easy to figure out the exact construction of a month. May this last quarter of 2008 be full of fun, fancy, and fulfillment even as your mind reaches ahead to planning, preparing, and producing for 2009. Take good care now! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
September 24, 2008 Finishing Up
I want to talk about an F word for a minute. Yes,
organizationally, we have a great F word, “FINISH”. For reasons which
I won’t share here, I have been finishing during the month of September.
The more I finish, the more that appears to need finishing. In other
words, as I’ve tried to “finish”, I realize I have routinely subsisted in
a very unfinished state.
Start something here and then abandon it. Start
something there and put it aside before its done. Start something again
and give it up before I get too far. My whole environment is full of
unfinished projects, plans, and purchases (you know the fabric which would make
the cutest apron or the cross stitch that only needs 100 hours to finish which
we buy and then never complete). So my suggestion this week is to find three projects in
your life which need finishing. Make a written list of the particulars to
get each project finished and spend the rest of this month doing just that:
FINISHING! For myself, I’m going to: 1) Purge through my quilting scraps and get
rid of what won’t work well or I haven’t ever liked and get two quilt tops
made up. 2) Repair the leaky tap in the bathroom, go
through my “pending” file and resolve outstanding issues, and return that
choir music to the director. 3) Walk through the house again and look for more
unfinished items, list them, and get caught up. The weather will soon
turn, the holidays will be upon us, and there won’t be much more time for
finishing until the beginning of the year. It is time for me and you to
FINISH now! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
September 17, 2008 Cluttered Counters
I recently received the following request: Any tips on avoiding the Cluttered Counter? This is the counter in one's home that seems to collect unopened and opened mail, the suitcase, the purse, the half-empty pop can, the keys, the vitamins, the camera, and the flyer once taped to the door. The counter that soon becomes the looming un-clutter project each and every week.
Yes, let’s solve the cluttered counter. We know
several things. People (including ourselves) are going to put items down.
What we have to help our family members do is both put things down AND put them
away (at the same time). This means making sensible, convenient places to
keep this "rotating clutter." What about a: 1) kitchen drawer (dedicated just to him and his daily “bring home” clutter) which might include keys, change, and cell phones, 2) stacked letter trays for mail, coupons, and
paperwork (one for him, one for you, and one for each other family member), 3) an upper kitchen shelf just for your purse or fanny
pack, and 4) a lower, larger cupboard for the diaper bag to
“own”.
These are the tools. Next we focus on systems
(meaning habits for change). Tell your husband of your new
"systems" and ask for his cooperation.
He can put his daily “bring home” clutter in the kitchen drawer you have
provided just for him. The diaper bag is to be kept here and you plan to put
your purse there. Mail should be sorted immediately and put in the letter
trays which you have placed here. Finally, compliment any progress he and anyone else makes because you are setting things up for a lifetime of order and anything they can do to help REALLY HELPS!
Lastly, watch for the trouble spots with your new tools or in your new habits and find additional answers. Does a trash can need to be closer? Would a set of hooks for keys keep them up and more organized for both of you? What about a plastic container for an upper cupboard for easier storing of the vitamins?
Also, I “clutter sweep” through my home three times
a day (right before breakfast, lunch, and dinner) to put away what has
been put down without being put away (because a lot of the clutter is my own).
This just takes a minute (especially good habit for when I'm on the phone) and
returns my home back to a place of order. If others have left the clutter
out, I work with individual family members to find answers, establish habits,
and reward progress generously. Cluttered counters should be left that way for no
longer than a day. A week’s worth of clutter is discouraging, a
month’s worth almost too much to handle. Good luck, my friends.
Let’s work this next week to keep our cluttered counters clear! P.S. I am now selling a “My Recipe Binder” to facilitate keeping new, untried recipes in a safe, convenient place until you have time and interest to try them.
Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
September 10, 2008 Active Life, Feeble Mind
Since we have been focusing on filing systems, I would like to share another idea. I’ve worked with many women, some of whom (including myself) find it more and more difficult to keep track of everyday personal papers which need only temporary keeping and yet seem to disappear just when they are needed most.
I’m experimenting with a friend’s system that seems to keep my counters clean, my active life in place, and yet accommodates my sometimes feeble mind (caused in my case by pressures, distraction, or stress). As with all systems, once it is in place, the key is to look in the filing system on a daily basis to find the relevant paperwork. So far this detailed system has worked wonderfully for me. It keeps my frig clean of wedding invitations, keeps unanswered letters in place to remind me to follow up, and allows me to address some paperwork needs down the road and maybe even a month of two from now. I would appreciate your feelings and feedback about this system. Maybe it will work for you, too. Supplies: - 31 folders, labeled 1-31 (for the days of the month) - 12 folders, labeled January-December (for the months of the year) - 1 folder, labeled Next Year+ - One container for folders (such as a desk drawer, plastic tote container, or handy
With my supplies in place, I now have a system to keep myself “ahead of the game.” Wedding and shower invitations go in a daily folder one week before the wedding/shower to allow time for wrapping the gift and arranging to attend. I put unanswered correspondence at the beginning of the next month (allowing one-three weeks for it to be answered). I put written notes to myself about possible plans about one week before I want to do them (visit my ailing aunt with some garden produce, write a get well card to an uncle who will be having surgery at the beginning of next month, ask a cousin for some more family history information). When I plant bulbs this fall, I’ll put the packaging and my notes in September’s folder to be convenient when I plant bulbs again next year. I hope this filing system will simplify your mind’s need to remember even as it accommodates your active life. No use letting on how very much it keeps you “ahead of the game.” Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
September 3, 2008 Topical Filing System
I recently received the following request: Could you share your method for organizing
all the printed 'thoughts' that religious women collect? I did a 'sort to
the floor' (which is put everything on the floor, make piles, sort, toss, shred,
etc. just this week - much overdue!) and now am faced (again) with how to file
and organize every tidbit from adversity, atonement, women’s organization to
Zion, and everything in between! My old file system worked for 25+ years, but...I guess I need to revisit the process. Shall I just move to an A-Z format, 26
pendaflex hanging files, and put all the "A's" in one hanging file
(adversity, attitude, atonement), or just what do you suggest?! Thanks in advance for your tips! Lisa in UT
This is my best method for filing anything topically: 1) I have manila file folders, labeled A-Z, one letter per folder. 2) I have pendaflex
file folders, labeled A-Z, one letter per folder. 3) I have a box of 1” x 3.5” white labels to facilitate re-labeling (when I misspell, change my mind, or need to redo a label). 4) I have a container(s) for holding my files. 5) I put the appropriate manila file folder in the same lettered pendaflex file folder in my container. This
allows me to remove any manila file folder, go through my materials, and return
it to the appropriate place in my pendaflex folders easily.
6) I sort through the paperwork (in this case religious materials), purging unnecessary, awkward, and irrelevant material. 7) I put the “want to save for possible Church needs” paperwork topically into the right folder. An article on the Atonement in the “A” folder, the cute story about babies under “B”, and the doctrinal article about Christ under “C”. IMPORTANT: As I file each article, I write the chosen topic name in the upper right corner. This facilitate refiling the article. 8) When an article
deals with two topics, say Christ’s Atonement and the Resurrection, I file it
in the most likely file for retrieval (in this case “R” for Resurrection)
and put an 8.5” x 11” sheet of cardstock (or 8.5” x 11” sheet
of paper, if you prefer) in the “C” folder with the label: Christ’s
Atonement and Resurrection – see “R”. 9) When I find that I have numerous articles about the same subject which tend to overwhelm one file folder, I will label a separate manila folder for that topic, say “Charity”, and a separate pendaflex folder labeled “C-Charity” which is then filed behind the “C” pendaflex folder. This allows my filing system to expand and contract easily with use and need. 10) I put paperwork regarding a Church position in this filing system in the same way. Obsolete secretarial paperwork, for instance, goes in a manila folder labeled “Secretary – 2000”. This manila folder goes into a pendaflex folder labeled “S – Secretary”. I hope this system works for you, too. Buy your supplies, keep it simple, don’t save too much of anything, and finish up the project ASAP so you can start using your files instead of looking at your piles. Happy filing! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
August 27, 2008 Prepared Before
Sometimes others seem to need us most when we are least
prepared to reach out. It happened to me this weekend. I have had
several major commitments the last several weeks and then last Saturday a good
friend died in an untimely manner much too soon for her young life’s energy
and the needs of her yet maturing family. I was caught somewhat unprepared. There was little immediately at hand to take along when we visited the mourning grandparents and orphaned children. My personal sharing reserves were depleted, the need was “now”, and there was no additional time or energy to prepare after the fact. Oh, may I encourage all of us, because life’s stewardships shift and bulge at different times in unexpected ways and because difficult challenges come when we might least expect them, to apply or reapply the “prepared before” principle more thoroughly in our lives. Those we love and know will always have an unexpected reason to celebrate, their birthdays come around much too fast each year, they marry, have children, and sometimes they mourn. How am I going to be more “prepared before” so I can participate, share, and contribute even in the midst of other pressing needs? I believe the answer has been and always will be in getting ready (often in bulk) to share a personalized gift, send a condolence card with a small remembrance, have a meal to unfreeze, heat and deliver, or pickup something near at hand to bring along when a visit is in order. “Very soon” is a good time for this focus, these preparations, and possibly a purchase or two. As soon as we find ourselves with a little breathing room, let’s sit down and “prepare before.” Let’s go shopping to acquire, wrap what needs wrapping, stock up on what needs to be multiplied to refill our cupboards, and prepare what needs to be frozen so we can share, love, mourn, and support when the time is ripe.
For me this means baking a second batch of cookies to freeze the next time I’m in the kitchen, adding an additional stop to my errands list and purchasing some appropriate items to have on hand. It means a wrapping session when I’m on the phone with someone who has much to say, and arranging a few silk flowers in my extra, empty vases. It means getting stocked up, again, on emotional preparation, the kind that can give expressive support, emphatic care, and encouraging sustenance to those in need. So many times others have come quickly and easily to my aid. I want to be ready to serve in the same way. So together, let’s get “prepared before”! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
August 6, 2008 Safely Organized
Walking home from an errand this evening I happened upon a young toddler standing of the edge of a very busy street oblivious to the obvious dangers whooshing past. It startled me so I crossed the road, took his eager hand, and walked him back to the open front door of his home (which happened to behind and to the side of dense front yard foliage). His mother, new to our neighborhood and distracted with moving in, babe in arms and another child at her side, was grateful but confused. How had the safety of her little family been so completely and so quickly traumatized without much noise and with little warning?
Another time, a good friend told me the chemicals under her kitchen sink were quite safe from her two young girls because she was always “around” and would get to the situation before any “real” harm could be done. No so, not quite so. So this week, actually this morning, would you walk around your home and look for ways to organized the dangers therein so they are minimized and/or removed? My new neighborhood friend needs a high hook on her screen door to keep eager children from wandering during her distractions. My second friend needs her chemicals up and out of reach. Just in case. Just in case. Right now you and I probably have a can here, a bottle there, and some other dangers that are too low or too near. These things need moving, changing, and reorganizing to keep our worlds safe and sound. Look around, under, down, and through very soon. Safely organizing before a disaster is always easier than cleaning up and crying after one. Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
July 30, 2008 Finishing Summer
Because summer seems to end too soon and school descends before we are quite ready, many of our lives are in “overlap” during August. We don’t really want to “finish” summer because the days are still hot and yet the requirements of clothing, school supplies, and homework are right before us. How do we handle this overlap period and gain the cooperation of our family members to help with the putting away of one season even as we prepare for the next one? May I suggest taking just a few minutes this week and making an “overlap” list?
Yes, fold a piece of paper in half lengthwise and write “Finish Up Summer” as the heading on the left side and “Begin School” on the right side. Then list on the left side the items which need attention to complete your summer activities and list on the right side items needing your attention to get ready for school/autumn. Maybe put the list on your fridge and add to it as you remember other items. This will also bring it to the attention of your family members and possibly you can elicit their cooperation and help. I know that some of you don’t have school beginning or are maybe on a year-round school schedule, but even then finishing up summer and beginning fall will “happen” next month which means we must be thinking about it this week if we are to stay organized. My own “finish summer” list would include three times for harvesting and freezing vegetables from my garden, having another evening picnic in the canyon, and altering three skirts for September’s needs. My “start school” list will include purchasing Spanish tapes (as I want to learn that language during the upcoming winter months), buying warm socks, and taking advantage of the school supply sales as I’m low on binders, pencils, and glue. Thinking now, making a written list, and then transferring these goals to your regular routines during August will make the “overlap” season happen with greater ease. Good luck, my friends. The long, hot days will be waning soon. It will be sad to say goodbye to a good summer, but we’ll be glad to be ahead of the game (at least in theory) as we approach a new scholarly season. Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
July 23, 2008 School Clothes Inventory I’m sure you don’t want to hear it, but for many school districts in my area (and maybe in yours, too), school will begin in about one month from now. Ouch! Where did the summer go and do we need to think of school already?
Yes, I would propose it is time to do a school clothing inventory, figure out what clothes you have on hand, what you can use for this year’s needs, and what you will need to purchase to fill out each child or teenager’s wardrobe? A simple School Clothing Inventory form will help expedite this process, keep the budget in tow, and help you along the way. This form is also useful for those of you who have grown children but would like to update and improve upon your own or husband’s working wardrobe. What do you have? What works? What needs to be added? How much do you have to spend? Remember, all projects, especially a big one like this, are best done in small steps. First, we will take an inventory. That will take a bit of time (with everything else that needs doing). Then soon afterwards, we will begin shopping with our printed inventories (which will then act as our lists). Finally, we will mend, alter, and otherwise label the items so they will have a chance to be used for the whole of next year (layering for seasonal weather needs). One word of caution. Some children and teenagers seem to grow the most between when you shop for pants and they begin school. Buy big at the waist and long at the leg to allow for this spurt of growth. So, my friends, with all else that is on your mind, get out enough boxes for each of your family members and label them: School clothes for ___. This can act as you initial stash as you sort, find, and make decisions. Out of season clothes that useful but not needed right now (meaning that they are the size between two children) should be stashed in additional, labeled boxes or containers. My favorite labeling system is: Boys-1 pants, Boys-2 shirts, Girls-1 pants, Girls-1 tops, Girls-1 skirts/dresses, etc. for all ages. Let’s get going! School is starting up again too soon this year unless we get a head start on our preparations! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
When I went away last weekend, I could hear the weeds in my yard giggling as I drove off. You see, I have also been “absent” from my yard for a few days a couple of weeks ago and they got ahead of me. I did a three-hour, total yard marathon weeding just before this last trip, but couldn’t weed deeply or thoroughly. I mostly got the “big” ones that were showing their flowers and throwing their seeds. As has happened before, the weeds got ahead of me this year. One week’s distraction and they seem to take over.
Isn’t it the same with the personal weeds in our life. Take care of it while it is small and its done and gone. Let it grow a bit, even water it accidentally, forget to hoe it out, and you have a mess of dandelions to deal with for a lot of tomorrows. The child who is sassy and we are too tired to have a short, crucial discussion about appropriate language soon is sassing and like a weed encouraging the rest of the family to follow. The teenager who is disobedient and we are at a loss of how to train and teach soon abandons all responsibilities and feeds off others. The friendship that is frayed to almost gone and we are too distracted to pay much attention soon is seeding discontent, dissension, and eventual abandonment. Oh, how important are the weeds of our lives. The bedroom that becomes slightly messy seems to sprout more untidiness even as we sleep. The dishes undone from just one day grow and fester in our kitchen to create chaos and frustration. The grocery shopping that doesn’t get done, the laundry that sits, the bills that remain unpaid all are “giggling” at their power in our lives. Weeds again. May I encourage you this week, as you go about your daily routines, to choose one “weed” in your life over which you would like to take total control. Are there dandelions of defeat in your dirty clothes, morning glory of bills waiting your attention, or thistles of disobedient children who need to be reigned in and disciplined? It is a mess in your storage room, a smell in your refrigerator, or a stack of papers in your home office? Where are the weeds you need to hoe? Let’s choose one unwanted plant, have a “marathon” hoeing hour and get ahead. Then we can more easily keep up with our weeds while they are still small and easily discarded, dealt with, and otherwise controlled. Happy weeding! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
July 9, 2008 Pesky Neighborhood Kids
What’s to be done when summertime family routines have been exploded by the invasion of pesky neighborhood kids? These are NOT the children that ring the doorbell before entering your home, ask before opening the frig, and go home politely when dismissed for lunch. We are talking about those children who are more likely to have boisterous conduct, unruly behavior, and personalities that grate against the grain. If this is a problem you are facing, immediately set some definitive parameters to meet your needs. There are several ways to approach this challenge.
1) Set New Rules.
Children tend to repeat what you say and so it’s better not to declare,
“This is a big problem for me and I don’t like having so many pesky kids
around.” Put a positive spin on it and suggest, “We are going to
initiate a new plan to better enjoy our summertime friends. Here are
several new rules which will make things better for our family.” 2) Open Door Policy. It works very well to have friends share time your children, but only after a set time every day. Decide when to begin your “open door policy.” This might be as late as 10-11 a.m. if your children have housework to finish, dishes to do, the piano to practice, and summer homework to complete. If neighborhood kids call, teach your children to say, “Our family doesn’t have friends over until after 11 a.m. I’ll ask if you can come over then.” 3) Can’t Play Sign. Sometimes, an additional “Can’t Play” sign can be posted on the front door to alleviate having to answer the door over and over again. Consider hanging this sign on your Christmas wreath holder to keep it up and away from eager fingers. Of course, the first few times you will have to respond to the doorbell and explain that when this sign in on the door, it means please don’t ring the doorbell as there are no exceptions! 4) One Friend Policy. If you have a large family or have a short capacity for noise, it proves helpful to let each child in your family have one friend over at a time. Children can also inform friends at the beginning of the visit how long they will be able to play. This keeps parameters on an otherwise challenging state of affairs. 5) Please Ask Permission. As with the previous situations, rules should be established about behavior. It seems reasonable to have all neighborhood children use the doorbell and ask to come in the first time they enter home. Your children should ask permission to let them play. All children should seek consent to get food from the pantry or frig. Lastly, your children should ask to leave home and go elsewhere. 6) Quiet Time. Have a certain part of each day that is set aside for “quiet” time. This siesta, usually one-two hours after lunch, is when your children are left to themselves to do quiet activities in their bedrooms such as reading or playing with their toys. This quiet time allows you to do something alone, too. There should be no friends, no interruptions, and no phone calls. The house is kept relatively quiet! This provides a respite from the hectic infighting and traumatic interplay that is so much a part of living on top of each other during long summer days.
When the “siesta” is done, back come the friends, out go the kids for a splash through the sprinklers, and up comes Mom to return to her home management duties. Everyone is refreshed and ready to finish out the day. Try it before you laugh. It really works! 7) Don’t Be the Local Restaurant. Gently shoo all friends from your home before you begin preparations for meals unless previous commitments have been made. This keeps the food budget down and your personal routines more in control. If you desire to have an occasional friends’ picnic, invite children to come on a certain day and time to share a meal with your family. 8) Did You Know?
Set this plan in place by informing every child that comes into the home
during the next week (when they first arrive) of your new plan. “Did you
know we have some new rules?” This avoids later embarrassment when you
have to tell them to “its time to leave” or enforce rules when they eat your
food without permission. Friends for your children are such an important part of summertime fun. But always, yes always, it is also good to have parameters that limit and restrain so everyone feels in control, there is some quiet time each day, and the standards of your home are honored. Good luck and happy friendshipping! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
June 23, 2008, Financial Freedom
My dear friends, June 24th is our immediate family’s
personal holiday. We call it “Freedom Day” in celebration of our
attempt to get completely out of debt. Financial distress is such a burden in our lives. Sometimes it is consumer debt, habitually it involves vehicle debt, and frequently it includes a heavy mortgage. It is not a lifestyle any of us would choose, but one which we are often caught in. Somehow the black hole of debt looms bigger and bigger in our lives until it becomes so deep and is so overwhelming we decide to just give up and hope things “will work out”. May I suggest another way? Debt doesn’t have to be forever. It doesn’t have to rob you of precious pennies, valuable dollars, and a good night’s sleep. It just doesn’t. You can begin today to turn the corner, change your circumstances, and find answers to this need. The process is easy to begin. It is worth every sacrifice it will bring to your life. If you desire to start, you can download the “Debt Elimination” form for your use. 1) Detail on this form to whom you owe money, usually listing from left to right the smallest debt to the largest debt. 2) List how much do you currently owe to each of these creditors. 3) For consumer debt, vehicle loans, and home mortgages, calculate how much of each month’s payment is going towards interest and how much is going towards principal reduction. This can be accomplished by using an amortization calculator on the internet or obtaining an amortization schedule from your financial institution. This information alone will help you realize how much can be saved by getting out of debt. 4) Decide today to stop using credit cards. This will be facilitated by putting away a substantial bit of money for any upcoming emergencies in a new “Emergencies” savings account at your local bank. Begin putting extra dollars into it. When there is approximately $1,000 stashed, you are ready to begin reducing your debt and your credit cards will no longer be needed. (Continuing to use a debit card is all right because that is like paying cash.) 5) Begin with the smallest debt and work towards its demise. You might make up a visual reminder, using graph paper and drawing squares to represent the amount left to pay off. A labeled glass jar is also helpful for collecting cash you choose not to spend in favor of paying off this debt. 6) Continue to pay regular monthly payments on all other debts even as you strive to completely eliminate this smallest debt. Plan to “snowball” this debt’s monthly payment towards your next smallest debt when this debt it gone (as shown in the example on the “Debt Elimination” form). 7) Using the “Debt Elimination” sheet will focus your energies and keep you on track. Let’s begin your trek to financial freedom. No matter your circumstances, no matter the amount of debt, it is needful to know the truth about your obligations and begin to pay them off! If you have addition questions, please feel free to contact me as I will gladly help you get started towards financial freedom and keep you going until you get there! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
June 16, 2008, Feeding a Crowd
May I share some rather practical advice about feeding a crowd? This opportunity comes around when those we love leave for or return after a lengthy absence, during happy celebrations, at graduations, and after weddings. It also often happens during the summertime months. Whatever the occasion, it is appropriate to have an organized method for food preparation.
Someone recently asked me what my approach was for feeding a light meal to 100 people (a mixture of adults and children) at a reasonable price and if they might have my methods. I shared then, may I share with you now?
Main Dish (adults): 2 x 5+ pound rump roasts 4 large onions, chopped finely 2+ cups (or enough to keep meat moist during cooking) 6 beef bouillon cubes
Preparation: Cook rump roasts, chopped onions, water, and bouillon cubes
in one large/two small crock pots on HIGH for 24 (yes, 24 hours) breaking the
meat up after 16 hours and shredding it again at 24 hours, both times with two
sturdy forks). Serve hot over buns. 100 hamburger buns (13 packages of 8 buns, day-old bakery) 10# ham, sliced thin 10# cheese, sliced thin (I like Colby cheese to keep everyone happy) Main Dish (kids): 30 hot dogs, cut in half
Preparations: Heat slowly for one hour in 1” water in crock pot.
Serve hot over buns. 60 hot dog buns, cut in half (8 packages of 8 buns, day-old bakery) Condiments: 1 pint mayonnaise, squirt bottle 1 pint salad dressing, squirt bottle 1 pint mustard 1 pint catsup 1 bottle relish 1 large bottle pickles, sliced 1 head lettuce, broken up 4 tomatoes, sliced thin Drinks: 5 x 2 liters lemon-lime soda 5 packages lemonade Koolaid 5 cups sugar 5 large blocks of ice (pre-frozen in plastic Dream Whip containers) 2 limes, sliced 2 lemons, sliced Punch bowl
Preparations: Make up 2 quarts of lemonade with 1 package of Koolaid, 1
cup sugar, and 8 cups of water. Add one 2-liter lemon soda in punch bowl
filled with sliced limes and lemons (for decorations) and 1 block of ice (to
chill). Repeat recipe as needed. This punch has the specific
advantage of not staining carpets. Paper goods: 125 paper plates 125 knives, forks, spoons 125 napkins 150 paper cups Serving Tools: 5 serving platters (ham, cheese, lettuce/tomatoes, hamburger buns, hot dog buns) 4 serving spoons (shredded roast) 4 serving forks 1 sharp knife 1 cutting board 1 fly swatter (if outdoors) Donations: (When others ask to help, ask for the following items--with a serving utensil--in the following order. If more than 12 people offer to help, start at the top of the list again.) Salads to serve 25: 1) Jello 2) Green 3) Pasta 4) Relish tray with dip Desserts to serve 25: 5) Brownies 6) Cookies 7) Cakes 8) Ice Cream Chips to serve 25: 9) Potato 10) Taco 11) Cheese 12) Crackers, specialty
Happy feeding and may our special occasion turn out just right! Find more helpful ideas in my House of Order Handbook.
June
9, 2008, Helping Them Keep Commitments Summer is such a wonderful time for playing with friends, going places with buddies, and otherwise stretching the vacation hours with interest and variety!
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