Weekly Hints~2007

When its past the big holiday, its time to conquer all the new stuff. May I suggest several ways to bring order back to your life, especially regarding gifts?


GIFT BOX	RETURNS	FRIENDS	FREELOADERS	LOVE IT NOT

1) GIFT BOX. Some gifts can go immediately into your “gift” box to give away again. The intent was nice and the gift welcome, but the usefulness in your life questionable. Giving it again is a great answer!

2) RETURNS. Other gifts are nice and useful enough, but they are in the wrong size, wrong color, or wrong brand. Put these together for the next trip to town. Put gift receipts in the bag with each gift and to facilitate returns. Don’t plan on do many returns until the crowds settle down a bit and when you do go, go early in the day.

3) FRIENDS. If the gift is useful & needed, find a home for it. Can it totally replace something you already have? Do you really need two? How about giving the old away so the new will have more room and be easier to find?

4) FREELOADERS. These are gifts which are not useful nor needed in your life. You will have to decide how long you have to “politically” keep some items, but for the most part, let them go sooner than later. Alternatively, give something else away so your “new gift” guest has a nice home until you have the courage or the “time” space needed to give it away again. I often put these items in my “2009 gift” box (because in one year most people forget and if they remember aren’t so unhappy that I have passed it on).

5) LOVE IT, BUT NOT ENOUGH. These are sentimental gifts, lovely in their own way, but how many is enough? They are often also useful, but because they are not needed, well… If you don’t really, really love it, let it go to make someone else happy.

So clean up the gift mess, deciding and sorting with a goal to keep the house just as ordered before the holidays started. Put away, give away, or store away to keep your life as uncluttered as possible!

My dearest friends, for the next two weeks we are going to be in a mode of “functional chaos”. Most of us will have a disruption in our regular routines with people, food, and activities out of the norm. This is all fun and good….well, it can be!

But it is up to you and I to understand and incorporate the concept of functional chaos into our routines. This means that first thing every morning we are going to get up and get ready for the day. Yes, (except for a rare exception like Christmas morning and New Year's Day) get yourself ready for the day before you emerge to meet the needs of your immediate family, guests, relatives, and friends.

This means doing whatever personal habits springboard you for a “good” day, like scripture study, journaling, a bit of exercise, a shower, some lipstick, a brush through your beautiful hair, and some bright, happy clothes!

Then with yourself all in order, you can meet the needs of others. You might even have time to tackle the undone laundry, the dishes which didn’t get done after last night’s snack, the front room mess from a fun game of charades, and the snow pack on your front porch.

May your enjoy this holiday season as you back off a rigorous routine and enjoy every leisurely experience, but may you still find order in your personal life so you can function at your highest level. Remember. First you, then him/her (if you are so lucky to have one of these in your life), and then them. Keep yourself functional even though both you and I know that it is going to be a bit chaotic.

When we get stressed, especially when we have a big event approaching in our lives, we tend to hunker down, work harder and with more focus to get everything in place, done, and otherwise organized. One important asset which we often miss is asking for help from those who could, and often should, be easing our burden.

It is so difficult to ask for help. We get responses like, “You want ME to help?” “Let so and so do it, I’m too busy and its not my job, anyway.” “Why should I help?” And so it is easier to carry the weight of preparations without reaching out to others.

However, this is not right and certainly not a balanced, organized way to approach the big events, holidays, and celebrations in our lives. Everyone should contribute. Everyone! One way to get past the initial refusals and rebuffs we encounter from others is to offer them a choice.

“Brad (a son who has returned from college for the holiday season), would you rather help with the morning dishes or take out the trash each day while you are home?” “Shirley (a sister who is staying over for the weekend), there are two priorities today. The kitchen floor badly needs mopping and the main bathroom needs a spiff. Could you do one or the other before we go shopping?” “Honey (your dearly beloved spouse), I am really overwhelmed this week. Would you mind dropping off the packages at the post office on your way to work or picking up some milk on your way home?”

Please, my friends, let others help. It doesn’t have to be the big things, the important things, or the complex things they help with, but ask them to help somewhere. They will feel less like company and more like family, less like guests and more like friends. You will ease your burdens and they will begin to maybe, just maybe, carry part of the load that should be theirs in the first place.

So courageously say, “Do you mind helping? Which would you prefer? Thanks for easing our way.” Happy holidays! And remember, sometimes the best gifts are the ones we ask for!

Have you recently received a ticket? Today, we are going to talk about personal speed limits and how we can control them during this busy time of our lives. You and I have three personal speed limits which I would like to share ideas about today. They are sufficient sleep, proper eating habits, and appropriate stress management.

SPEED

LIMIT

8 hours/night

SPEED

LIMIT

Setup/Cleanup

SPEED

LIMIT

2 Bites of Dessert

When one, two or even all three of these are surpassed. we are going to get a ticket. Yes, I know we can outwit a ticket here and we can avoid a ticket there because our body policeman might be otherwise occupied, but eventually it seems to triangulate and catch up with us. One ticket for me, one ticket for you, and S.I.C.K. is where we end up.

In this season of stress, too much good food and often of the wrong kind, and too little sleep, may I encourage you to review your own personal speed limits and set some goals. For instance:

2) I will leave time before and after all my projects, commitments, and activities for setup and cleanup so I can stay in charge of my stress. Sometimes I will say “no”, “later” or, “I will have to think about that for a bit”.

3) I will eat those treats that I enjoy, but I will only have ___ bites before I push the plate back, put the dish in the fridge, or dump the rest of the disposal (which, of course, is a dramatic way to enforce this particular personal speed limit, but one which works quite well, because it is irreversible).

May I encourage you during this month of fun and fuss, friends and family, frolic and frantic times to drive safely, from beginning to end. Review your own personal speed limits. Decide what they will be and how you will handle your food consumption, your sleeping habits, and your stress management!

May you drive safely and keep within your own personal speed limits, so that you can come into the new month and the new year without any tickets at all!

I am also working on a new project, Organized For A Mission (should any of you wish to acquire a draft copy for organizing an upcoming mission this next year). Just send me an email with your request!

Today I would like share ideas about holiday greetings organization. The week after Thanksgiving is the very best time to get this very important and timely activity started before the holiday pressures, stress, and rush really set in. Let's get set up so this task is easy to do both now and always.

When we prepare our holiday greetings, there are four elements we address: Who will get our greetings? What will we send? How will we go about it? When will we do it?

If you're going to do a printed greeting, the first project is to gather your addresses and organize them on a computer file so you can get your address labels printed (unless you still like to hand print them). Then you can decide what to send. It might be a photo, a card, a letter, or a combination of these things. Next, you must decide how you will get the photo reproduced, the letter copied, and the cards found or purchased. Of course, you will have to buy or find some supplies: stamps, return address labels, and the cards. I would like to add a small hint that has helped me over the years. If you send cards, keep them with the Thanksgiving decorations. This acts both as a reminder, makes the cards readily available, saves a lot of time going through Christmas decorations trying to find the cards.

When should we do the organization for our printed greeting? I like to think that earlier is better. Please remember, if you are going to write a letter, a shorter note is better than an epistle as people usually want to hear about your activities, know the state of your health, and update your contact information.

Should you choose to send an e-mail greeting, you will have three elements to consider: Who will get my greeting? How will I go about finding one? When will I send it out? Of course, you must gather email addresses. Why not organize them into an e-mail folder so you can retrieve and updated them next year with ease? Then you must decide upon and find an appropriate email greeting that shares your feelings and values.

When should you mail the e-mail holiday greeting? May I suggest during the first week of December when most people will be in a holiday mood? When you are ready, push the button, and off your greeting will go.

My dear friends, let's organize for our holiday greetings. Let's get it done and out of the way, rather you are choosing to send a printed greeting or an e-mail one. Let's begin now! It will be a great to get organized in this way both for this year and all the years to come. Happy Holidays!

It seems that during the holiday season, we have an evening, a day, or sometimes a whole week when we are around people we don't usually spend a lot of time with otherwise. They have traveled here or maybe we've traveled there. During our time together, we are likely to have some interactions with them that can cause us to become confused, upset, and somewhat disorganized within. May I share three holiday “people” survival skills that have served me well and which may be something you'd like to think about as you approach the upcoming holiday season.

First, it is likely there will be someone who will criticize you. There may be one or even several people that will give you advice. Then, there may be an occasional person that will share a compliment. May I suggest you think for a minute about what you can anticipate from certain people during your time together and be prepared with some ready-made answers so your insides can stay ordered even as your outside “smiles”.

First of all, accept criticism with a slight smile, and this, “Thank you. I appreciate your perspective.” Don’t try to justify yourself, make excuses, explain, or give any more details. Let it stay right there. Smile and say, “Thank you very much. I appreciate your perspective.”

You might get some advice. If you do, give a little bit bigger smile and then use this phrase to deflect challenges that could incur from such a conversation, “That’s an interesting idea; I’ll have to think about it.” By saying this, you are accepting the fact that they have given you advice (which they may or may not have had the right to do), but you're also letting them know that you're still in charge. “What an interesting idea,” you might say. “I'll think about it.”

Please accept all compliments with the biggest smile of all, and if it's appropriate even a return hug. Then say, “I am so lucky to have you in my life.”

My friends, let's order the way we will get along with the important, difficult, nice and not so nice people over this holiday season with three “people” survival skills. When criticism comes, say, “Thank you. I appreciate your perspective.” Let’s accept advice with, “What an interesting idea to think about.” And let’s appreciate compliments with, “I am so lucky to have you in my life.” (Which I am!)

I was recently asked if I felt parents should encourage their children to be MADE to do their chores before they were allowed to play? It was an interesting question because I understand the value of choice. However, I also value the power of priorities and the joy which play brings because the work is DONE.

So my answer to this question and my answer to anyone interested, it that doing the “worst first” principle will make for stronger character, more accomplishment, and deeper joys than any other promoted sequence.

When doing housework, do the dusting first if you don’t like it. Then all the rest of the housework will be just slightly easier because the worst is over with.

If you have several batches of outstanding wash and really don’t enjoy folding socks, do that batch first and get it over with so the rest of the wash will be nicely pleasant.

If you need to wash the dinner dishes and don’t particularly like to sweep under the table, do it first.

When the holidays approach, there are several items which are less interesting, fun, or otherwise enjoyable for each of us. At Thanksgiving, pies are my worst. The pleasure of preparing them eludes me. So next time I am going to get them made, frozen, and off my “list”. Then all the other joys of family, food, and fun will be more to my liking. I’ll pull my pre-made pies out to share the morning of the “thankful” day and be thankful they were done first.

When Thanksgiving has past, I will do a Christmas “worst first” project. It is getting my greeting cards prepared, my letter written, and the whole job done and in the mailbox at the first of the month. I can almost feel my Christmas excitement growing with the thought. Funny, I how much I enjoy getting Christmas cards and letters from friends and family at the other end!

Good luck to you this week. Remember doing the “worst first” always makes the rest best! What will your next “worst first” project be?

I have 4 large tubs of dress up clothes, shoes, jewelry, hats, costumes, etc. for my grandchildren. I can organize them but after one visit the boxes look like a tornado whipped through them. My dilemma is creating a system my grandchildren can use that will leave the dress up clothes organized and tidy. Any advise will be greatly appreciated. Thank you, Marlene B.

First, let’s take the mess and divide it out into groups. Considering what you have indicated, it appears we could organize it as such:

1) clothes – you are right, these would best is hung on hooks, but a second best idea is confining them to a tub or two.

2) shoes – these would best be stored in a tub (and I assume one container would appropriately contain all the shoes)

3) jewelry – these could be stored individually in small ziploc bags with easy-to-pull zippers

5) costumes – the accessories for each costume might best be stored in 2-gallon ziploc bags which have been clearly labeled to contain all the items together. Then these ziploc bags would be kept in a container. The larger pieces of clothing for each costume could be kept with the other items in the clothes container.

Now, having shared how I would divide up the dress up clothes to make sense of them, I would also institute “Grandma’s Rules”. I am not yet a grandma, but I sense I will want to teach order and cleanliness, in small ways, to my grandchildren and one of the ways I could do it would be to organize all the dress-up clothes (and then put away the tubs) in anticipation of the grandchildren’s next visit.

When the grandchildren come to play next time, explain the new system of organization, showing the children the different, labeled containers, the different ziploc bags with costume accessories and jewelry, where everything goes, and how the whole should look when it is put away properly.

Then, let the children choose one tub to play with initially. After they have played, let’s say with the shoes container and put all the shoes away in the container and put the container away, ask them if they would like to try taking out two containers, playing, and returning everything back to where it belongs. This time I would let them play with, say, the shoe container and the clothes container. When they have successfully played with these, put the items back where they belong, let them try getting out a costume bag or two, playing with them, putting the costume accessories back properly, putting the ziploc costume bags back in the larger container, and neating the room back to its rightful order. And on and on…

In other words, I believe a grandma needs to teach order in her own home or she will lose a larger battle. It is “keep order now in the small things” to have order later in the bigger things with larger number of children, or “let things go from bad to worse to a total mess” which you have to clean up yourself after they have left. Not a very good scenario, in my opinion!

Knowing that some of you have opinions in this area, I would also appreciate your comments, suggestions, and personal experience. Take care now, my friends and have a good week!

Today we are going to talk about organizing recipes. There are several requirements when we collect and use recipes, especially as we put them either in a binder or a recipe box. So let's get started!

	Newly collected recipes ->->-> "My Recipes Binder"		Obsolete, unused recipes ->->->->-> Trash
	Frequently- used recipes -> ->-> -> Behind first set of dividers		Classis, less used recipes -> ->->-> Behind second set of dividers

One of the biggest challenges is organizing recipes that have been collected from a newspaper, magazine, or printed off the Internet. Usually, there is no convenient place to put these recipes and they move around our lives without a definitive home. May I suggest setting up a “My Recipes Binder”. You’ll need several supplies: a 1” view binder, 20+ tabbed dividers (extra long tabs for additional title space), 100 sheet protectors, and 100 sheets of 8.5” x 11” card stock. Label the front, back, and spine of your binder. (For your convenience, you can find this file free at www.houseoforder.com/downloads.htm.) Put the cardstock in the sheet protectors, and label the tabbed dividers similar to the tabs currently in your recipe box.

It will now be very easy to store and retrieve a recipe you have collected. Simply slip it into one of the sheet protectors and file the sheet protector behind the right tabbed divider in the recipe binder. Make up a “reference” card for your recipe card box and file it behind the appropriate recipe box divider. For instance: Bagels~See MY RECIPES BINDER under Breads.

Another challenge is a recipe box that has become overly full, messy, and outdated. We will need two new sets of recipe index card dividers, some cleaning solution, and about an hour. Initially, we dump our recipes completely out, wipe off our recipe box, inside and out, and open our new sets of recipe card dividers. If available, some clear recipe card covers can be put onto our recipe cards to further insure future cleanliness as we sort through and refile them.

Begin by taking the recipes and sorting them in three piles. First pile: those recipes you don't want anymore. Second pile: those which are used frequently. Third pile: those recipes which are classic, i.e. ones you want to keep but you really don't need them very often. The obsolete recipes can be discarded. The “frequently used” recipes go behind the first set of recipe card dividers according to their type. The classical or special recipes go behind the second set of recipe card dividers, according to the various topics. And, lastly prepare reference cards for recipes in the “My Recipes Binder”.

My friends, it is great to get your recipes organized! It'll make it easier to cook, easier to set up your Master Menu, and much easier to serve your family delicious, nutritious meals with a little bit of variety. Take good care now and remember, you can come to www.houseoforder.com/downloads.htm for a free “My Recipes Binder” front, back and spine download.

I haven't done much “motel” traveling in my life. But I have traveled a lot in the last few months. I have learned several things to take, things to do, and things to avoid.

Welcome to an organized MOTEL stay...

1 – When you make your reservations, ask for an upper floor room, away from the stairwell, on the quiet side of the motel. This will make your walk longer, but you will sleep better and be less interrupted by early morning leavings and late night comings.

2 – When you arrive at the motel, make sure you have sufficient “complimentary” toiletries to make for a nice night's stay before you begin to settle in, get ready for your shower, and find that the shampoo or a goodly number of bath towels are missing.

3 – Bring a small night light. Most motels seems to have the light switch attached to the fan which makes midnight trips to the bathroom a family affair instead of a private one. A “small” night light will give you or someone else what is needed, just as much as is needed, without the fanfare.

4 – Take a second, last look around the motel room before leaving. You might have everything of yours packed and in the car, but someone you love just might have overlooked his or her treasures. Better to double check now rather than double back later.

5 – A pen flashlight will help you find what you might need, too, after all others have retired. This might be pain medication for that oncoming headache or a kleenex to handle the snuffles. Having this at your bedside helps makes your nighttime suitcase search quieter and more efficient.

6 – Despite all other opportunities, have a private stash of personal toiletries, needs, and luxuries. It just might not be available and you just might need it. Only bring small containers and small quantities, but if you use “it” regularly, bring “it” along.

7 – If you plan to travel again within a short period of time, leave the toiletries you used in the suitcase for next time, which will make the second trip's preparation easier and faster.

8 – A final treasure is a small roll of duct or moving tape. This is used to overlap the curtains sufficiently to make your room reasonably dark for sleeping. Otherwise that slit and the exterior light which enters often keeps you awake or awakens you before morning.

9 - Of course, traveling with your own pillow makes for a better night's sleep and a battery alarm keeps you independent, so these and other small additions will add to your comfort and the ease of your trip.

10 - Traveling and motel staying can be fun, but it will also be more pleasant if you are prepared to stay “your” way with all of your needs. Happy traveling!

Today I would like to share several ideas for keeping your refrigerator organized. This is one place in our homes which is often rather chaotic because so many people use it. However, there are several things that we can do to keep the refrigerator organized, workable, and otherwise serving us instead of worrying us.

First, establish standard places where you keep milk, eggs, meats, fresh vegetables, fresh fruits, and some proteins (which includes cheeses, yogurts and deli meats). Of course, the milk, meats, and eggs should probably go on shelves, whereas your vegetables, fruits, and proteins might be allocated to drawers.

Second, designate a shelf for “eat all you want”. This saves many a trauma when mother goes to find dinner only to discover her teenage sons have eaten it thinking it was leftovers. So there should be a shelf which is “have at it” and another shelf which is “please don’t touch, this is tonight’s dinner”.

Third, it is also helpful to keep like items with like items. Keep the condiments together, canned fruits together, and cold drinks together. It’s a great idea to put your condiments in a larger container so when you pull out the mustard, you also pull out the relish and the catsup, making it easier to put what you like on hot dogs with a single trip and a one-handed motion.

Fourth, think carefully about what to put in the door of your refrigerator. This should be a place for “A” items, those treasures which you pull out of the refrigerator frequently such as milk, drinks, and sack lunches. Sometimes those shelves will be empty because things will be coming in and out. Also, the door should not be crowded with things that you very rarely use such as bottles of exotic pickles or maraschino cherries.

Fifth, when you refill your refrigerator as you go grocery shopping, remember to put old behind new. This keeps the milk fresh, and helps keep everybody happy when it’s time for cold cereal in the morning.

Sixth, I encourage you to clean out the refrigerator every Saturday evening to keep the blues, the greens, the molds, and the bad smells at bay. Serve some kind of eggs to fill out the meal such as fried eggs, scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, or even eggs in a basket.

I also encourage you to wipe down the refrigerator just before you go grocery shopping, which is the easiest and best time to find more of the shelves empty or mostly empty.

My dear friends, order your fridge, organize it. Let’s make this place in our house a tool that works in an orderly manner. Take good care now.

Today I would like to talk about getting organized for the holidays. Yes, I know Halloween will be first and Thanksgiving will be after that, but the holidays and the pressures they bring are coming upon us very quickly.

It is time to prepare an “Organized for the Holidays” binder. This is a very simple project, one which I am going to sell on my Internet site, but which you can also set up yourself with supplies you may have around the house or can find at a local office supply store.

You will need three full-page calendars for the months of November, December, and January. These can often be printed off the computer. This will allow you to mark out those days when you will not be available to get ready for the holidays because you have commitments and other pressures. This way you can plan some pacing for preparing for upcoming needs. No matter when the holidays happen during the week, most of our preparations would best be done by the end of the previous week. In addition to that, many of us will have children coming home from school the sometime before the holidays begin. So much of our holidays preparations should really be wrapped up and done by the middle of December.

An “Organized for the Holidays” binder is made by putting these three full-page calendars in the front of a one-inch view binder (which will be labeled on the spine, front, and back with “Organized for the Holidays”). You will want to purchase five dividers and label them: To Do, To Give, Decorate, Entertain, To Buy. Then, in the back of your binder put a sheet protector with a heavy piece of card stock, which is been labeled “Receipts”. You will also want sheets of lined paper upon which to do your planning and maybe even a pencil holder for pens, pencils, coupons, and a calculator.

I encourage you this week to get started on your holiday preparations by preparing your “Organized for the Holidays” binder, putting the calendars in front, purchasing and labeling the dividers, and getting everything all set up. What will happen because of this preparation? Ideas will come to you about that piece of clothing you can easily give away and you can now make a written note. You will find a magazine description of a project you would like to do and now you have a place to keep it safe. A gift that you would like to get your husband this year or maybe your father or maybe the neighbor will occur to you and you can now make a list of items to purchase. You have one central place for all this information to go! When you begin to buy items, you have a place to put your receipts. And, when more ideas come, you have a place to write them down.

So be sure to get your “Organized for the Holidays” binder up and running now. It will make for a smoother, quicker, easier, nicer, and much more organized holiday season. Take good care now my friends and remember, you can come to www.houseoforder.com and purchase the pre-printed “Organized for the Holidays” binder or you can get one going on your own. Take good care this week.

Today, I'd like to explore 2008 just a little bit. You see, I needed a 2008 calendar the other day for a planning session and I didn't have one of my fingertips. When this happens in my life now, i.e. I need something for the first time, I am trying to respond with what I call “early preparation”. Yes, I know I might not needed a 2008 calendar again for another few weeks or even a month or two, but the initial need has risen into my life and it is time to get ready. (This also relieves November and December of this preparatory activity.)

You will notice I have free downloads for three different 2008 calendars as these are the ones I use the most: a whole-page calendar, a half-page calendar, and then twelve different monthly planner calendars (the ones with the lines). Print those you can use as many times as you need. Put them in your kitchen, at your desk, in the car, and in your planner. As things come up, comments are made, and questions are asked, you can now have a 2008 calendar right at your fingertips.

You will noticed we will have a longer February in 2008 and Easter will be quite early (March 23), Mother’s and Father’s Day will be earlier in the month, Independence Day is on a Friday as is Halloween, and Labor Day happens on the first day of September. Christmas Day will be later in the week this time around, too.

Also, I would like to suggest a fun family activity. If you memorize the following 12 numbers, you can do quite a bit of calculation about the year 2008 without having a calendar in front of you at all. Those numbers are 632-641-637-527. These are the dates of the first Sundays of each month throughout 2008. If you keep these numbers in your head or even write them down at a convenient place, it will be very easy for you to go from there to figure out the date of the day you were looking for in any month throughout the year.

So when the first instance of a need occurs, order remains in our lives if we respond, as soon as practicable, to this necessity. Good luck, my friends and remember, it is rarely too early to be ready and prepared. Take good care now!

Today I’m sharing ideas about organizing your internet usernames and passwords. When I work with people, this is often a very confusing place in their lives. Most are somewhat dysfunctional when it comes to their Internet usernames and passwords. They have a piece of information here, a little bit there, and sometimes nowhere at all (except their very busy head). They don’t want to tell their computer to remember their usernames and passwords on all their accounts, because some things are rather private. Also, while it is convenient to have the computer remember their usernames, email addresses, and passwords on many other accounts, they would also like a backup hard copy. They are afraid if they write this information down somewhere, someone else will inappropriately use it.

However, we must set up a useable system to keep this information in a specific “hard copy” location even as we protect the contents. I have prepared an “Internet Username and Password” form. You are welcome to download this file to help get your Internet usernames and passwords more organized.

It is important this “hard copy” information be set aside in a somewhat private location even as it is kept convenient enough to refer to as needed. In addition, you may want to use asterisks at key places as you record your user names, email addresses, and passwords to keep some information private (which you will readily remember but which will not be known to a stranger who might accidentally find the “spec” sheet).

If this information is kept systematically in one place, your Internet interaction will be much easier. You’ll be able to easily access pages which are important to you no matter how infrequently you might return to them. The information will be intact just as you desire.

Please be careful, and please know it’s important this information is kept safe, but it is also important it is kept using a complete and accurate system. By using this tool and these methods, your life will improve dramatically on and off the Internet. Take good care.

Today I would like to share some ideas about 20-year mapping. One of the ways we can holistically organize for our future is to understand where our family is going to go over the next few years. There is now a free form, 20-Year Map, under the download tab. You are welcome to use it for your own needs or you can make your own 20-year map by drawing 1-2” columns and rows on a clean sheet of paper.

2 0 - Y E A R M A P - S A M P L E
	2007	2008	2009	2010	2011	2012	2013	2014	2015	2016	2017
Age	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11
Name: Josephine					Kindergarten	1st	2nd	3rd	4th	5th	6th

1) Label the columns across the top row with the years from now until twenty years from now, for example 2007 to 2027.

2) In the rows on the first column down, list the names of individual family members: Father, Mother, Tom, David, Brian, Jenn, and Tyler.

3) Indicate in each appropriate box across the row the age each person will be during the year listed at the top of the sheet. So a child born in 2006 will be 1 in 2007, 2 in 2008, and etc.

4) Also note in each appropriate box potential significant events in each of the person’s life: when your children enter elementary school, turn eight years old, enter junior high, turn 12, 14, and 16, enter high school, be eligible to drive, turn 19, graduate from high school and possibly enter college or vocational school. When will they likely graduate from advanced educational institutions, consider marriage for the first time, and so forth?

5) It will also be important to note the significant years in your own life. When will you be turning 30, 35, 40, 45, and 50? When will you have no one home during the day if you are a stay at home mom, when will your husband retire, and when will you be of retirement age?

6) As a note, sometimes people even make up their maps for 30 or 40 years to show a broader spectrum of their life’s situation.

Such mapping will show you the possible scenarios and challenges, financial needs, and emotional strains as you and they mature together. It give you a sampling of what you can expect as the years pass and help you understand the pressures that will come in.

Most importantly, it will show you how few years there are between now and when the children that are home will be leaving for one reason or other. This gives impetus to focus and clarifies the home training needed for our children. I encourage you to make up a 20-year map either by coming to my web page and downloading it or by making up your own on the computer or by hand. What will you and your family be doing over the next 20 years?

This organizational time map will be very valuable to help you see what you can expect during the next twenty years and help you organize so you can be ready for your future, having taught them well, and focused on what really mattered.

I’ve had the unique opportunity recently to go urban camping. Now, this recreation may be new to some of you, so I will fill you in on some of the details. You see, myself, my son, and another medical student drove across the country in two vehicles, staying at hotels and friend's homes along the way during a three-day adventure. We suffered for none of the niceties of life as we went.

We arrived in Columbus, Ohio early enough in the afternoon to unload the truck and get all the items up to the third floor apartment by sundown. Then we attempt to figure things out. Where was the toilet paper? Toilet paper! It was packed somewhere…. Soap? Shampoo? Towels? Shower curtain? Dave #2 (yes both young men are named Dave) had that in his suitcase, thanks to his thoughtful mom. But how to hang it? We used orange twine from one of the boxes.

Hand and liquid soap, paper goods, and a plastic bowl for food all became items of great value, as did my personal stash of napkins until we found the toilet paper the next morning. We even had to scrounge sheets for the mattresses and wonderfully-used front room couch (where I slept comfortably after a such good afternoon and evening's work).

So, if I were to pack again for such a trip which would include overnight “urban camping” during the first night at a new apartment, I would have brought the following in my suitcase: toilet paper, personal washcloth and towel, two flat sheets, shampoo in small bottle, small bar of hand soap, and shower curtain holders. Yes, some of these items I should have had in my personal toiletries, but I hadn't thought of everything!

Most importantly, for me, was that the small things made me highly uncomfortable. I was neither prepared for the challenge nor had means to solve my problems without a trip to a store (which was inconvenient because of the late hour).

So, if you want to order your life for “urban camping”, something which you might have to do sometime in case of emergency (other than moving into an apartment), just live without any and everything that you normally use in everyday life for an afternoon and/or evening and get a sense of just how much you might miss q-tips, some kleenex, or toilet paper. Then, do yourself a favor and buy up a year's supply; yes, a whole year's supply. You will sleep better at night knowing that with all that might happen in case of your own “urban camping”, you will be comfortable, presentable and have a full tummy!

I’ve been a hurry a lot these past few weeks. It seems my commitments have stacked themselves one upon another without relief and I am trying to keep too many people happy all at once. As my schedule has tightened, I have noticed that my joy in life has diminished. I believe this is because hurrying doesn't allow us to deeply enjoy the small pleasures of each day.

We only have so much capacity to soak in life. If we are always worrying about getting there on time, finishing up the dishes before we have to go, remembering to put everything in our vehicle, and being upset with the kids because they are so slow....well, life loses its treasures.

May I suggest that working things just a bit so we can walk slower, drive slower, and talk slower (or actually converse at all), we will begin to enjoy life more? Our tension will go, our spirits will rise, and our moods will improve.

Imagine what our families and coworkers will think when we walk unhurriedly into the room, smile with assurance and leisure, and then proceed with a confident, but leisurely gait? All this is possible if we can be just a little bit early, start a little sooner, leave a bit before we really need to, and have things in order before we must go.

This next week, may I encourage you to watch your own routines and look for ways and places where you might slow.......way down. Really, it is only a few minutes that makes a big difference.

Can you arise three minutes earlier? Can you put the kids' lunches together the night before? Can you decide what you will wear before you retire? Can you find other, simple ways to slow it down.....

As you do, especially if you are watching for the treasures of life, you will have time to divert to smell the yellow rosebuds in your front yard, watch the hawk land while you wait at a stop light, and smile at the bus driver as you leave the children off for school.

Everything can be different. It is just a few minutes, going a bit slower, and taking the hurry out of your life. Try it, you will definitely like it!

I have had a more complex summer than any other in my life. It has been a time when I couldn't make major mistakes, couldn't leave things behind, and couldn't retrace my steps without difficult challenges. In order for things to work for me and my family, I found the best skill to use was to “think it through”. I usually did this at night when I began to worry. Have I remembered everything? Will I have what I need when I need it? What will happen if I don't think clearly?

When I moved from worry to “thinking it through”, I did a sort of role playing. In my mind, I would get up in the specific “upcoming” morning I was worrying about and dress myself, thus confirming what clothes I needed to pack. I would walk through what tools and materials I might need for my day's activities, thus clarifying what I need to put aside for those needs. I would walk through (in my head) the sequence of the day's responsibilities, events, and pressures and see where I might have holes in my thought processes, preparations, and possibilities.

You see, I have had a son return from a foreign country. I have had another son marry out of state (a beautiful and marvelously intelligent young woman, my first “daughter”). I have had a third son move to Columbus, Ohio to begin medical school who needed a navigator and companion for the trip. I have had a fourth son graduate from the University of Georgia and wanted help moving to his new job at the Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge.

In addition to these many differing activities, I needed to make all these preparations before the first began because there wouldn't be much time between events to mentally prepare for the next. It would be “go, go, go” which is not conducive to thinking clearly.

You may have the same kind of pressure coming up in your life. It might be as simple as a day trip to another city, or preparing for a presentation at the convention center, or planning what to pack for a small vacation.

Thinking it through, writing down your thoughts, and then going to work really took the strain from my summer. It can do the same for you! So when worry sets in, turn your mind to role playing and reasoning. It can make all the difference. And, if you do forget something, at least you will forget less than otherwise, and feel more confident with each day's demands.

When you move, sometime you don't completely, completely move. You just get most of your stuff into the new place and somewhere in the unpacking process, you stop moving. Some boxes get left in the garage still stacked and neglected, or they might even get into your basement or closets, but they are still unpacked and their contents unused.

One woman asked me the other day if she should just take her unpacked, still-stored-in-the-garage moving boxes right to the thrift store because she hasn't looked at them for five years and hasn't needed any items out of them. Yes, yes, yes. If you haven't finished unpacking and haven't used the items (and they aren't sentimental, valuable, or worthy for family history needs) out they go.

Other times, the unpacking gets all done, but the moving boxes are left around, sometimes stuffed with crumpled newspaper, peanuts, or cardboard dividers. While they are useful and might even be needed sooner than later, let's get the packing peanuts and paper into a large garbage bag, the boxes flattened, the all these items “deep” stored. You don't need to feel like you are going to move again soon every time you enter the basement or garage just because you never finished moving in this last time.

So let's get done with the “finishing” of your last move, whether it was six months, six weeks, or six days ago. With all the diligence you can muster, put off starting “life” again until you have finished moving. Yes, don't start any new projects until you have “set up shop” and are done with this last move. If that means taking unopened boxes to the thrift store, so be it. Yes, you might want to open each of them to make sure that personal, embarrassing or useless items won't be donated, but no cheating. If you don't need it, you don't it need. Anonymously share it again with someone. You will never know where it goes, you will never see its use again, but neither will you be burdened with unfinished packing.

In the same way, if that means an afternoon in the garage slitting the tape of those “great” moving boxes and flattening them, let's get to it. Throw out the non-useful, bent or weak boxes. Get rid of the packing material that has shed or disintegrated past usefulness. Finish, finish, finish.

Sometimes, I believe we don't finish the move because we get distracted as those around us want to take up regular life again before we finished right, right after the move. More often, we have become ill from the stress and cultural shock and by the time we are back on our feet, we are behind without much chance to catch up, let alone finish the move. But now it is time to complete this important project and “set up shop”. Everything will be different and better when you have settled in. If you don't like this place, wished you hadn't move here in the first place, and even are waiting for a chance to be gone, keeping the move half done won't help things a bit. Its like people who keep their skinny clothes in a hope of losing weight. It just doesn't work. Neither does “half” moving. You will be happier and things will work better longer if you are “done”.

So my challenge to you is to look around your house. Rarely have I coached at a home that doesn't have a box here or there unopened and unused from the last move. Find it (or them), search and decide, and be done. It is nice to finally be “home” and settled down!

This past month I have helped my son move across the country in a moving van (which we packed and unpacked ourselves). His car was attached to a trailer behind and a new roommate followed us in his own car after loading his personal items behind my son's own in the truck. I have learned a lot, some of which I would like to share, as our mistakes need not be repeated in your packing and moving.

1 - Rent plenty of blankets from the moving company. These should be carefully put around, over, behind and in front of all furniture items which will touch each other. Otherwise, when you drive, the inevitable road bumps cause friction scars which can be avoided with the judicious use of these “moving” blankets.

2- Rent a larger hand truck (with a strap). This will facilitate moving the bulky items up stairs and on and off the truck. Even if items won't go up the stairs easily on the hand truck, once they are on the right floor, they can be transported down halls and into rooms more readily.

3 – Pack as many items as possible in standardized boxes: small, medium and large. This makes it easy to load the truck because most boxes can be readily stacked. Clearly mark light-weight and fragile boxes as they must packed near the top to avoid crushing.

4 - When packing the boxes, put heavy items in small boxes (for instance, books), medium-weight items in mid-sized boxes (pans and kitchen utensils), and bulky, large items in oversized boxes (my favorite are the sturdy “apple” boxes often found at the produce department of your local grocery store). Pack each box as full as possible and then put crushed newspaper or scratch paper, or clothes and linens around the items until the box is completely full. This keeps each box from being crushed at the corners and also protects the contents.

If you are packing simply, label the boxes on both ends with “STAY PACKED” (items of low importance) or “STAY OUT” (items of high importance). This will help you know which boxes are essential to “first day” survival. If you have a complicated situation, also label each box with the room where it should be put once you arrive at your destination. This will facilitate getting the boxes in the right location for easy opening.

5- Know your “new” home well enough so you can direct others (or know yourself) where to leave the floor empty for the mattress (so you can get a good night's sleep if you don't get the beds made up the first night). Leave the same floor areas empty to locate couches, pianos, end tables, and other bulky furniture near where their “final” location will be. No need to move heavy items twice.

6 – Pack an “essentials” box or two. These boxes are full of fundamentals which will make your first night at your new location easier to manage. We forgot that new apartments don't come with toilet paper, hand soap, and paper cups. We went without washing our hands and drank directly from the tap, but what substitute can you easy find for toilet paper? So think about your everyday needs, and pack a special, last-on the truck box accordingly.

With these moving tips incorporated into your next move, your companions will find you brilliant and you will feel much more contented until you’re comfortably moved in.

In order to simplify our lives we have four choices: 1) Eliminate, 2) Reduce, 3) Postpone, and 4) Systemize.

Many of us have “bogs” in our routines, schedules, and habits. These are places where we approach life with too much chaotic spontaneity. So, to gain control of our menus, for instance, we have to eliminate, reduce, postpone, and systemize. We can ELIMINATE from our regular menus any difficult and time-consuming recipes, we can REDUCE the number of “uncomfortable” meals we will attempt, we can POSTPONE to another season of our lives trying all the recipes in our overfull “recipes to try” drawer, and we can SYSTEMIZE our menus so we know just what we will be having for each dinner for the next month.

Do you have other “bogs” in your life? Bill paying, mending, laundry, or paperwork? If so, think through the four steps to simplification: eliminate, reduce, postpone and/or systemize.

These form an acronym of sorts: S=SPER, So go for it. Spear something right at the heart and conquer your “bog”. Simplification will make life so much easier.

I am off and running to Brigham Young University-Idaho’s Education Week for four days. Hope you have a great week, too. Good luck!

Today I would like to share ideas about ordering your family’s emotional life so conflict is eliminated (or at least reduced) and challenges are worked through without hitting. I taught a class yesterday and found that in the families of all seven of these ten-year-old children hitting was a common way of resolving conflict between them and their siblings.

This was somewhat dismaying to me because I believe children that hit will become adults that hit, whether it be as husband or wife, or as parents inappropriately hitting their children. When children are left to hit without teaching them how to resolve conflicts verbally, we are producing a generation that cannot appropriately cope with the pressures of life.

May I encourage you today to begin an initiative in your own family: “We don’t hit in our family.” Begin to teach your children not to hit each other. You can simply say, “We don’t hit in the Smith family.” This will be a little difficult at first because children are very apt at hitting. Very, very small children will often hit or slap you in the face. One of the best ways to work through this is to simply hold their hand softly, but firmly and say, “Hitting is not permitted.” They, of course, will do it again just to see what will happen. Again hold their hand and in a soft but firm voice say, “Hitting is not permitted.” Repeat this over and over again.

When older children squabble with each other and begin hitting, you have to separate them to resolve the issues and work with them to verbalize what they are feeling, what happened, and how to find answers. You have to teach them to resolve their challenges by talking through their challenges. Teach them that mature people do not hit to resolve problems. They talk through their problems. If your children aren’t quite ready to do that right after the squabble, separate them until they have cooled down and are a bit more teachable.

I encourage you also to work with your spouse and come up with ways to work through the friction which often happens in a marriage and which might lead, from time to time, to physical hitting. This simply cannot be the best way to have order at home.

So begin a “no hitting” initiative this week with your family: “We don’t hit each other.” Please know that if you do this there will be more peace and harmony between your children. There will be more love between you and your spouse. And there will be more order in your life in general. There will be chance for a new generation to grow up learning how to peacefully handle life’s many pressures.

Right about now, it is time to begin a “September List”. This is a list of all those things which keep running around in your pretty little head that need doing and aren’t going to get done any time soon.

The September List

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You see, summer activities, vacations, visitors, and other pressures move us away from our regular routines. We lose the important, and often very essential cadence to our lives….thus the importance of the “September List”.

Begin it now, noting those things which will need doing eventually but can wait while you carve watermelon, take the kids to swimming lessons, hike that mountain with your family, and bandage those scrapped knees.

Your mind will relax and rest and your soul can make memories because now the “September List” will keep the pressures preserved in writing until everyone is settled down into a routine again with the coming of Fall. Then you can tackle that list.

Happy Independence Day to you all. I have a birthday this Thursday, so Happy Birthday to me and to any other of you July babies!

I visit a lot of homes at all times of the day and I find families in all states of order and disarray. I have learned an important principle as I have been coaching this summer. A wise mother will encourage her children to get ready for the day BEFORE they watch cartoons, play with their friends, or start a personal project. There are core activities every child, teenager, and adult should be taught to do in order to appropriately “get ready for the day”. These simple but repetitive habits will lay a solid foundation both for ourselves and our children even in the luxury and leisure of summer days.

May I suggest that every family member should make his or her bed and straighten up their room as the first core activity. Second, they should get dressed and put their pajamas away as the second core activity. And third, they should prepare their breakfast, clean up after themselves, and brush their teeth as the third core activity. With young children you might use the shape of a triangle indicating that each point represents a different core activity: 1) making your bed and straightening your room. 2) Getting dressed and putting your pajamas away. 3) Eating your breakfast, cleaning up after yourself, and brushing your teeth.

Now I realize many of you have children and teenagers in different states of maturity and sometimes it doesn’t necessarily match their age. So we start small and simple. We motivate with the if/then principle. IF you get ready for the day, THEN you may watch morning cartoons. IF you get ready for the day, THEN you may play with your friends. IF you get ready for the day in a timely manner, THEN you may get out your craft project.

Please look at the morning routines of your family. It is in the simplest of habits, in the regular routines, and in the consistent insistence on a day-to-day basis that we lay the foundation for order in the lives of those over whom we have stewardship.

I encourage each you to teach your family to GET READY FOR THE DAY: Make your bed and straighten your room. Get dressed and put your pajamas away. Eat your breakfast, clean up, and brush your teeth. Good luck, my friends and I do hope you're enjoying your summertime activities and that your family members will be amenable to help out by getting themselves “ready for the day” each and every day!

Today I would like to talk about 15-minute miracles. So many times when I personally coach, people struggle with where to start, how to start ,what to do, and how to incorporate the best methods. While these are important questions, the real challenge for them, and for most of us, is simply getting to work.

Many people want to change, they want to do things differently, they want clean up their desk, organize the dishes, or redo the laundry room. But change is very difficult and so they never quite get to it. Change, however, can be made easier with consistent forward progress. There is nothing like setting a timer for 15 minutes and practicing at organizing with focus. If you do that every day for a week, you will find that your personal environment, your home, and your office desk will become more organized simply because you “got to it”.

As much as having the right method, knowing how to make the right decisions, and having the right tools, simply getting going is what needs doing. I have visited a home this morning and helped a friend who is disabled at the moment. I worked with her children cleaning off the top of the refrigerator, soaking the dishes, and cleaning up the kitchen counters. Fifteen minutes later we were all astounded at how much so little work could do.

This week, may I encourage you and your family is to have a 15-minute miracle time, where you organize something. Clean up the magazine rack, tackle the junk drawer in your kitchen, or work with the boxes along the garage wall. A 15-minute timer can make a difference, because it will get everyone moving, get something accomplished, and bring improvement, change, and accomplishment.

So my friends, in the middle of heat of summer, with all of the other challenges and commitments that you have, may I ask and encourage you to choose a project, find 15 minutes, take your timer, set it, and work on that little project and watch the miracles of organization began to happen in your life.

Please feel free to e-mail me about your 15-minute miracle this week. Take care now.

Today I would like to speak about a delicate but very important skill for anyone trying to bring more order to his or her life. It is the skill of teaching others to wait. I believe one of the great challenges in life is knowing when to stop, how fast to respond, and what to do when others call for us, when the phone rings, or children require our attention.

I believe we will bring greater order in our lives by not trying to be everything to everyone all the time. May I give you a case in point: you are folding laundry and your child says, “Mom, I need you to come and ….”. Generally, we drop what we are doing and run to the child's aid. If the child is capable of understanding the concept of waiting, we might do better to say, “Johnny, I would be happy to come and help you. However, I have about three more minutes of folding towels, two more minutes of putting them away, and then I'll be there.” What this does is it allows us to come to finishing points, mini-finishing points though they may be, so we have places of finishing in our routines.

So, the concept simply is this: As you go through life and your children mature, or your teenagers and husband are cooperative, or your coworkers and elderly parents are understanding, let them know you are happy to come, but you would appreciate if they would wait (if only momentarily) so you can come to a finishing point. “Yes, mom I hear you calling. I'll be there in just a bit. I just need to put the spaghetti in the casserole and turn on the oven.” Or, when you answer the phone and a request is made to run an errand, say, “You know, honey, I would be happy to do that for you. However, I am in the middle of scrubbing the kitchen floor. It will take me about 20 minutes to finish and then I'll be happy to leave. Will that work?” If we begin to do this, when circumstances are such that we do have that opportunity, we bring our life to places of finishing. The laundry gets folded and put away, the kitchen floor gets scrubbed and the chairs get put back down, and dinner gets ready. We feel more in control.

At the same time, we are also instilling a sense of self-respect in ourselves and teaching others to respect us. So may I encourage you to observe carefully your interactions this next week and see where you are jumping the gun, where you are responding too quickly; and, therefore, leaving the task at hand undone in favor of helping someone else right away. Work just a little bit towards helping others wait, if even just momentarily, so you can come to a wonderful, complete, and sensible finishing point.