Weekly Hints~2006

What if you made the catnap craze a part of your holiday season? We have so much adrenaline flowing during the next few weeks because of the holidays, extended family being around, eating crazy food, doing crazy things and staying up until crazy hours. We might need to add to our list of things to do to get a catnap once in awhile. I call it the catnap craze, because when things are settled down in my life, it is kind of the last thing I would ever think of doing. But, during the next several weeks, it may help you keep going, keep you from getting sick, help you from losing it all together when you become grouchy, and otherwise make it possible for you to cope with having your children home from school, spending the holidays with your in-laws, or even something as simple as having to clean up snow brought indoors after a fun afternoon with the children building a snowman.

When you get tired, too tired to be useful, I encourage you to think about and to work into your schedule a catnap here and there. I remember when my children were younger, I learned to lay down when they napped, even if it was only with a 15-minute timer. When they were older I still went away for my “time alone”. If I would just lay still my body could rest and it was somehow sprung into action for the rest of the day. Or if your mother shows up to help fix dinner, ask if you can steal away to a quiet bedroom and crash for a 20-minute nap. Taking these cat naps will make the holidays much nicer.

And don't forget to relax your schedule just a little bit in the morning if your husband is home, all the kids are home, and everyone sleeping in. Sleep in yourself just a little bit. Everyone knows that a nice wife, a nice mom, a nice aunt and/or a nice grandma is better than anything else during the holiday season. So take care now and during the next two or three weeks remember to catch the catnap craze and get a catnap once in a while so you can keep going past all of the fuss that comes with the unsettled schedule of the holidays.

Catnaps to go along with new presents, strange meals with strange hours always helped me get through a little bit better and I think it'll help you, too, so Merry Christmas and happy catnap craze.

My friends, today we are talking about handling the second week of December in such a way that you, too, can enjoy the holidays. I like to use this phrase: “It is my week to put my regular life away so that I can enjoy the holiday “.

Upstairs in one bedroom I have a partially-finished quilt top. I been working on some family history that is scattered in the basement office. I have mending that is not done, some drawers that I want to line and so I have those supplies purchased. It is time for me to put these half-finished projects completely away. I know that during the rest of this week, all of next week (especially as the children get out of school) and the last week, which I call sandwich week (the days between Christmas and New Year’s), there will be little time for me to work on very much of anything but fixing meals, cleaning up, entertaining and enjoying the children, traveling, and being with friends and family.

If I leave my half-finished projects out, it will dismay me, confused me, and otherwise upset me, and keep me from having a simplified, focused special holiday. So I like to start at the front door, walking around my house counterclockwise direction, putting the quilt top away, cleaning up those different kinds of makeup I was going to try, putting away the drawer liners for another time. I’m not going to get to them before Christmas comes.

So as you function this week, as you work through all of your priorities, just take a few minutes and put the half-finished projects completely way. I usually make little notes in my planner where I have put these projects so during the first week of January, when things settle down a bit, the kids go back to school, and my husband has returned to work, I can return to my regular routine and finish up. Keep periods of time during that first week or so of January without a lot commitments. It takes awhile to ramp up after two or three weeks of having children, husband and other family home.

Take good care this week and remember this phrase as you’re cleaning up, putting away, and putting aside things you haven’t finished: “It is important to put your regular life away so that you, TOO, to can enjoy the holiday.”

I met an angel the other day. At least I think so. She is a woman in my neighborhood that became aware of some specific family needs in another town in the valley and thought she would do something about it this month. The husband has less than adequate employment, the pantry is rather bare, and the holidays look somewhat bleak. She is no different than many others I have met through the years, but I was made glad because her requests helped me let go of things I really don’t need or want, and yet haven’t had the courage to share. (We cling so tightly to our stuff.)

The requests were small: gently-used clothing, unused canned goods, coats that are gathering dust, and toys that are no longer really being used.

As I went through my house, pulling cans from the pantry, finding a pair of shoes that really don’t work for me, and purging the unused games, I felt “cleaned out” and “freshened”. We keep so much we really, really don’t really need, and actually should share, but who will appreciate it enough to make the sharing worthwhile?

May I suggest that you, too, take just a few minutes this week and find the “angel” items in your house. Yes, give, give, give! It won’t cost you a thing, it won’t even dampen your style. In fact, it will help you get organized and ready for the influx of gifts which are surely to come your way soon.

So look for those “angel” items, gather them in a box or bag, and then look for an angel who is collecting items to share with others.

You might even want to get your kids involved, maybe your spouse, and definitely the friend down the street that could lose a few items from her personal stash.

Yes, find the order which returns to your home and soul when you have stripped yourself of what you don’t really need. Happy holidays!

I don’t care what anybody says, Thanksgiving is one of the most stressful days for me. How can we relieve the stress from this gratitude day? How about using the Thanks Bank concept.

This week before or after you get through the stresses of Thanksgiving day, prepare several lists that will help make next Thanksgiving easier. Then bank them in your monthly housecleaning plan index card box behind the November divider, and use them next Thanksgiving to be and appear calm and controlled.

I have three of these lists and retrieved them from my Housecleaning Plan index box today. Having these lists has saved me lots of trouble over the last several years.

- One card lists the items to do/purchase/find in order to be able to put on a nice Thanksgiving dinner. It includes things I need to buy at the store, items to retrieve from my basement storage room, a reminder to purchase or find holiday napkins.

- The second list has everything I need to do the before Thursday like arrange the table center piece and clean the turkey platter. We can even make/buy the pies and put them away. And one year I made rolls early and put them in the freezer as I knew it wasn’t going to happen on Thursday morning.

- The last list is the things I will need to do on Thursday so the meal will be served on time, such as cut the bread into cubes for the dressing, put the olives in the frig, and check a second time that I have cranberry sauce (the one item I tend to forget).

So create your own Thanks Bank by preparing 3 x 5 cards, one with the list for the grocery store, one with a list of activities to do before Thursday, and the last with a list of things to do on Thursday. Then your mind will be free to entertain the other stresses in your life right now, rather it be your husband’s responsibilities at work, your children’s needs at school, or how to handle a particular guest graciously.

You see, I got up at six o’clock Monday morning and went to the grocery store because I had completely forgotten to buy my turkey and at noon I was hacking away to remove the insides so it would thaw by Thursday. So this year I am adding another card to my Thanks Bank: buy turkey ONE WEEK early to give it time to thaw properly.

Take good care now, and remember, create your own Thanks Bank card system and you’ll be more ready for next year’s successful Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, and remember to visit www.houseoforder.com to buy Christmas gifts for your family and friends. The gift of organization is a lifetime gift to influence and change for the better. Take care now.

This week in November, the week before Thanksgiving, I would like to suggest the concept of FINISH-FORWARD. You see, with one part of your heart, time management skills, and focus you should be finishing up before the holiday season officially begins next week. There are bills to pay, a little bit of deep cleaning here or there, some projects you have been working on that would best be finished up or at least brought to a partial finishing point and then put away until January.

On the other side, with the another part of your focus, may I suggest you immediately sit down and decide what your responsibilities will be for next Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. If you will be traveling, of course you will have to start packing and making up of the list of things to take. If you will be staying home and hosting company, it is time to prepare a list of what items to purchase, projects to do next Wednesday, activities for Thanksgiving morning, and what will need to be completed to make for a nice turkey dinner. Then, of course, you also have to plan Friday and Saturday if company is coming your way. Where will you go and what will you be doing?

So, you will be focusing this next week, if you are going to be more organized, on finishing up and forwarding ahead. You will going to be going into two directions at once, one foot will be putting the brakes on and the other will be pushing the gas pedal. To both stop and start, walk around your house today with the pen and paper in hand and say, “Yes, I need to take care of that. I had better put this away because our company is coming and I don’t want it broken. I think I’ll wrap this project up and put it away until January. I will clean the toilet a little bit better as the company will really notice the ring around toilet. I will get the ….”

Good luck this week, and remember to stay organized we’re focusing in two directions: FINISHING up and FORWARDING ahead. So finish up everything that can be put away and plan for the things you’ll need to do for Thanksgiving next week!

I have a good friend that is morning sick. Yes, she is newly pregnant, the second time, actually, and she isn’t sure she wants to go through with this process again. She has what I call double discouragement. It goes this way…

I’m morning sick,

So you can have your pick….

Help with the laundry,

Help with a chore

Help with the baby,

Or don’t knock on this door.

If you have double discouragement, whether it be from morning sickness, too many babies too close together, an ill child, a worrisome marriage, or even a challenging teenager or two, may I offer a simple suggestion?

Counter the double discouragement with a simple solution. No matter how bad today is, tomorrow might be better or it might be worse. If it is better, smile some more. If it is worse, get out a piece of paper and begin to list: What is on my mind, what can I do about it, where do I start?

Then promise yourself a 20-minute, yes just a 20-minute focus on something you can “do”. Doing something, anything, will make the morning sickness fad momentarily, make your children look more lovely, and make a bad day just a bit brighter. Yes, 20-minute miracles happen in my life all the time. Write it down, figure out a small, short beginning project, and go to work. Then write me about your experiences and I will share them at a future time.

1, 2, 3, GO! (And don’t forget to keep the bucket close by; morning sickness can be terribly volatile, even when you’re distracted for 20-minutes.)

Today I would like to share a tender story from a new friend I have gained this last month. She told me that when she was a little girl her mother spent hours canning fruit and making jam. They always had homemade bread and her mom smocked beautiful dresses for both her and her older sister.

When she was in seventh grade, her father lost his job, her mother had to go back to work to support the family, and her sister (seven years older) went away to college. During the next few years, her mother didn’t have time to do those “things” anymore, meaning canning fruit, making jam and teaching Sarah how to bake homemade bread.

And so even today, Sarah, who is a mother herself, has never done any one of these things and does not yet have the skills to do them. So today I ask you a question: what skills do you want to pass on to your daughters and sons? And if they are important to you, how can you organize your life to get them passed along? I guess I’m thinking about holiday season coming up. Instead of spending quite so much money on things they will simply own, could we give them a certificate “good for” teaching them a skill and then actually doing it with them? You see, from Sarah’s point of view, she would have loved to have had an hour with her mother learning how to make homemade jam or homemade bread. Or maybe even just shared an hour with her the learning the techniques of canning fruit.

What do you wish to pass on to the next generation and how can you order your life to spend an hour this week or an upcoming family night or a Sunday afternoon in the next few weeks to prepare to pass those on legacies? I know it is important to me that I received certain skills for my own parents. I know it is even more important for me to pass those skills on to the next generation.

So think about it, and in the mix-up, the mash, and the mess of the months of November, December, and January, ask yourself some important questions, ponder on how to proceed, and then share. We must share this legacy of homemaking skills (whatever they are and however you perceive they will best help your posterity) from generation to generation. Have a great week!

I would like to respond to a question I recently received from Jacy O. about building food and home storage shelving. You see, it does make a difference how you approach this project!

The specifications of shelf depth, spacing of shelves, and the specifics for preparing either a room or a wall to most effectively store food and other nonfood items is very important. I believe you need three depths of shelving. “Deep” shelving, as I call them, are shelves that holds cases of paper towels, toilet paper, disposable diapers, and other more bulky things. These need to be about 18”-20” deep. “Medium” shelving is shelving about 15-18” deep that holds flats of canned soups, fruits, and vegetables. “Narrow” shelving is only 10-12” and is great for holding cake mixes, cereal boxes, and other foods that are narrower.

You will want to have, in addition, to these three different depths of shelves, three heights of shelves. I like the first shelf from the floor to be about 30-36” above the floor. This will accommodate stacking two traditional round food storage buckets, one on top of another, so that items such as flour, sugar, oatmeal, and powdered milk can be kept in those buckets (with gamma lids). Then, have 15-18” tall shelves for the taller grocery items like the large cereal boxes, popcorn cans (which I use to store many items after the Christmas popcorn is gone). Lastly, have several 12-15” shelves, which will easily hold smaller height products with additional space to reach your hand in. Any space left above easy reaching distance could be left empty for lightweight, bulky items to be put way up high (always remembering to put the uprights to the ceiling to keep items from dropping off the ends of the shelves).

Keep in mind, when you make shelving, to have the uprights (supports) quite near each other (within 3’) as canned goods and other items can be quite heavy when stored in bulk. Take the time to paint and otherwise make this area beautiful. This will make going to your food and home storage area delightful. Also, have a little bit extra lighting (as our storage areas are usually without much natural light).

Remember, different depths and heights of shelves with sturdy supports in a brightly painted place with good lighting makes not only purchasing but storing your food and home storage a very pleasant experience. Take care now. Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

Hello friends! Recently, I received an inquiry from Lisa in Utah asking if I would share my feelings about a family mission statement. I would like to respond to that request as I highly encourage each and every family have a family mission statement.

When we do this, we focus our family’s values, goals, and ambitions in a particular direction. It identifies your focus and organizes your energy so that each member of the family can identify with something good and noble.

May I suggest four points to organizing and preparing a family mission statement. (Remember, it need not be long or complex.)

1) I would like to suggest your mission statement be based upon either a scripture like “I, Nephi, said unto my father, I will go ….” or a noble statement such as “Return with Honor”. This can be learned by the youngest and least eager member of the family and is the first step to clarifying a mission statement for your family.

2) The mission statement would go on and talk about positive characteristics you value in your family: honesty, integrity, a high work ethic, compassion, or whatever you feel are the characteristics where your family could and should focus.

3) The family mission statement might describe some family goals such as your desire for your children to be educated, strive for a wholesome marriage partner, and have their own families. Describing what values you would like them to be true to, what standards you hold dear, and what you value will pull you together.

4) Lastly, the family mission statement might also describe some areas of family unity like “in our family we will be kind and considerate of each other” or “in our family we will work together until the job is done right”. Use what you feel would work for your family to identify your family as special and unique and bring them closer to you and your spouse’s long-term desires for your children.

So I encourage you this week to think about a family mission statement. Speak to your spouse about it, maybe inquire of your children, and then remember to think on these four areas: 1) a scripture or a noble saying, 2) positive characteristics, 3) family goals; and, 4) family unity.

Take care now and have a great week. A family mission statement can really help!

This week, as a precursor to grander accomplishments, I would encourage you to organize your pens and pencils. When I do, I discover three things:

1) I keep things I don’t like (even though they were free and I won’t be out anything if they are gone) with the pretense that I “must use them up”. Now, I realize it is better to discard or share what really doesn’t work for me.

2) I keep too much out (yes, I know it is convenient to have plenty out, but we generally are a bit out of control). It is better to have less and be in control.

3) I need to organize like this more often. Usually, after a short time cleaning out and making decisions (however small), I feel better about my life.

So, this week, get into that desk drawer or empty the mug on your counter top, and take control. Discard or share what doesn’t work, keep and use your favorites, and notice the control that comes into your life.

Today I would like share ideas about the upcoming holidays. You see, once October hits we have to look at the calendar for a minute and start thinking in an orderly manner about how to prepare for these three pressures. Halloween is a mere four weeks away. Thanksgiving is early this year, on the 23rd, as a matter of fact, and Christmas has a very nice configuration because Christmas Eve will happen on a Sunday.

As you go about your life during these next three months, may I suggest considering an idea that works really well?

Halloween

Thanksgiving

Christmas/Hanukah

Today, to get out three sheets of paper and entitle them Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Over the next few days (as you go about your regular routines, projects, and chores), write down things you would like to do and arrangements that you need to make as they occur to you.

You now have a project list where you can record those ideas. This allows you to stay focused on your present needs, your current pressures, and your reoccurring responsibilities even as your mind shoots ahead and begins to think about “what costume would work well for four year-old Becky”, and how you will “accommodate Aunt Macey (who is in a wheelchair) for Thanksgiving”, and what you need so your friends can have a special, small gift as a December remembrance.

You see, our minds are so far ahead of our bodies that if we have a place prepared to capture the thoughts, they will be safe. Next week, the following week, and even the following week as you are ordering your life, deciding upon your priorities, and making out your shopping lists, you can refer to your “holiday” lists for additional aid.

Because you have prepared a way for those ideas to be captured when they come, you can rest assured this holiday season will be just a little bit different. I know it won't be easy, I know that we have very busy lives, but for me having a place to write down the thoughts when they occur to me helps keep Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas just a little bit more organized.

Take good care this week and enjoy this special cool weather, the changing leaves and all of the other things that come at this time of year even as you're starting to prepare for the three big, upcoming holidays.

I shared this article last year, but have had so many inquiries about these principles recently, I decided to write about it again and ask again, if things are working for you? Because if they aren't, it takes so little to make a huge difference.

I know that many of you have recently begun what I call the “school schedule”. You have sent your children off to school now for about three/four weeks and are beginning to settle into a routine that is working pretty well.

What I am going to encourage you to do is to streamline that routine just a little bit to make the rest of the school year go much nicer, easier, and have less bumps.

1) Do you have a specific place where each child puts items that need to be taken to school the next day? This is often called the “Launch Pad” and is a confined place where the child can put their backpack, their school lunch money, their apple for the science class, and anything else they need to remember to take to school. I like to have labeled, plastic buckets, one per child, in our home for the “launch pad”. No one thinks well when in the rush to get off to school. Gathering the night before and putting everything in the “launch pad” makes good sense.

2) Do you have a specific routine for getting the children ready for school each day? Most children should be encouraged to decide what they will wear to school the night before. The clothes should be laid out, complete with socks and shoes. Then tomorrow’s dressing will be quick, decision-less, and easy. Try it, it makes all the difference!

3) Do you have a weekly menu for breakfast that the children can rely on? I know that many of you have cold cereal on school mornings, but even then have you set up a routine for getting the table set, each child’s dishes cleared after eating, and their teeth brushed (and the toothbrush put away and the toothpaste lid put back on)?

Slowly down for the next week and working with each child individually until they have learned these simple habits will make for long-term benefits. Try it, you will definitely like it!

September 19, 2006 (Happy Anniversary, Dad and Mom Calder, my parents) - Give Me Some Space!

Once in a while, sometimes several times in a single year, we get caught up in some massive project, some major trauma, or even just find that several smaller challenges come all at once into our lives.

When they are done, the company is gone, the house is quiet again, or the challenge has passed, we might find ourselves exhausted, deeply fatigued, or even just plain cranky about life. We feel confused, unmotivated, and even sometimes angry.

When this happens, may I suggest that we practice some well-known and highly-practical advice. Let’s plan into the upcoming week some “space”. I have talked about this before, but I see it happening so few times in the hectic lives of those I love. I see women I admire running, running, and running some more until there is no more “run” in them.

Especially when we are at the end of our ropes we must take the time, even make the time, to come back to a place of order in our own personal lives. This doesn’t need to take an inordinate amount of time, but it must be planned, it must be kept sacred and secure in our routine, and it must take priority. We just can’t continue to run forever on fumes.

I have seen several techniques which work wonderfully well. If you cannot leave your home because of many small children, endless laundry, and stacks of dirty dishes, just take a whole five minutes (yes, you can use a timer) and sit on the porch and breathe deeply, listen carefully, and watch an insect walking through his own life of troubles.

If you are at work, take a walk “somewhere” where you can see outside and hold still for one whole minute. Yes, just one whole minute of repose can really make a difference and five minutes will make you a renewed person.

If you are able, take a walk (in a new direction) from your work or your home and look for something to be curious about, someone to smile at, or something to be grateful for….yes, just a little space makes it possible to dive back into the cold waters of reality with a new smile, an easy gait, and a renewed zest for life.

Without (as my dear husband says) also having an alternative plan, a backup tool, or a spare part!

I am learning there are many times when I'm simply not prepared for the inevitable challenges which life brings. I think you know what I mean. We run out of gas for our lawnmower, or use a favorite levi skirt until the back seams rips open during the wash cycle, or we even keep a vacuum and nurse it along hoping that it won’t break anytime soon. While I am all for duct tape and the miracles of creative repairs, I also believe we must be thinking ahead.

If we continue to regularly run out of gas while mowing the lawn, wouldn’t it be smart to have a spare gallon stored and ready? If your skirt is getting a little thin on the rear, what will you do if it wears through and you don’t have time for a shopping trip? And if the vacuum is on his last legs, which will be the best next purchase to make?

I know you probably have several of these kind of trusted and treasured tools, clothing and habits in your lives? At least, if you are like the many people that I coach, you do. So for a minute today, where can you better prepare for the eventual “death” of something that has served you well for a long time?

You see, it is better to get ready now and know what the next step will be instead of waiting and worrying when it breaks. Is your refrigerator starting to make funny sounds? Maybe a trip to the library to learn from “Consumer Reports” about current frig technology would help. Of maybe an evening date with your spouse shopping for refrigerators might be wise. Then, if and when the frig does bite the dust, you are ready to purchase with confidence. If a classic piece of clothing is beginning to wear thin, it is time to look for another. We always want to be “at our leisure” when we purchase new tools and treasures. We just make better decisions that way.

So this week, as you work through your routines, walk through your daily schedule, and otherwise find items that you regularly rely on, ask, “What if? How will I? What will we do?”

It will be easier that way and you will find you’ll feel more in charge of at least small area of your time and your life.

September 4, 2006 - I’m stressed! Time to Withdraw, Regroup, and Re-Emerge

I’ve had an interesting week. In fact, it has been one of those weeks which held it’s normal share of disturbances, challenges, and unknowns. But for me, this week was extra heavy in the stress department, probably not so much because of what happened, but because I keep having weeks like this. It just catches up with you.

When you get stressed and you realize you’re not managing it well, what do you do? Since I have been there a few times myself, may I suggest the following three thoughts: withdraw, regroup, and re-emerge.

Yes, I believe the first step to bringing order back to your mind is to step back a pace or two. In fact, I like the idea of complete isolation, almost total quiet, and plenty of space. It may not always happen, but when you feel the need, head towards your master bedroom if you are at home, go to the restroom if you are at work, or maybe just take a walk if you can get away. You need some space to withdraw enough to see the forest. Sometimes the trees just get too big and are too many to see how you are going to deal with the whole jungle.

Second, I believe that you have to regroup. This includes reviewing your priorities, deciding if it is going to be cornflakes for dinner again, if the wash can be handled by your spouse tonight, if your teenager can manage your two other children so you can have an hour alone at the library to work uninterrupted. In other words, review for a few moments options to do things differently, and maybe this time by doing something that will work better.

Third, re-emerge again into your life. When you do, take a moment to notify those around you that things may need to be a little different today. No you are not going to go to that meeting, yes you are planning on a simple dinner, no you won’t be able to wash those special pants until Saturday, yes you would appreciate some babysitting help this evening. Remember, it is up to you and me to make life work for our families, in our workplace, and all through our life.

So, in the end, it is also up to us to withdraw a pace, regroup to find better organization possibilities, and then re-emerge with a sense of leadership and a smile with which to work through the current stresses.

Remember, it doesn’t do much good to worry about the past. Just look forward, ask for help when and where you need it, and go slower to get more done. Always, always when stress overcomes your better self, it seems to work best to withdraw, regroup, and then re-emerge. They will love you for being back on top of the it again, and you will usually, in the end, get more done in less time.

It was Education Week at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah last week and I had the privilege of speaking at different home organization sessions. However, because of those preparations and my involvement in getting my printed materials ready, I totally spaced some rather important preparations for family celebrations. I did this last year, too, so I have some more learning to do. Because of that, I would like to share a previous hint and incorporate it into my life as well.

Have you had the “totally-spaced” experience before? If so, I have a few suggestions for myself and anyone else who needs to make an apology for being later or forgetting. Make your apology, being as honest as you can about what really happened, and then make preparations so that it will never happen again.

I remember that after I had missed an important birthday two years in a row because it was on the 3rd of the month and by the time I remembered to turn the page on my calendar (this was before I discovered planners), it was too late to send a birthday card or make a timely phone call. So, on the third year, I decided to make preparations to avoid another disaster. I put the note regarding this birthday, and every other birthday within the first week of the month, on the first day of the last week of the previous month.

I will do the same thing with next year’s Education Week’s web page article. I will make a note to write it in the middle of the July (when I am less stressed), so all I have to do is add it at the right time.

In many ways, there are so many other times and places where we can look ahead and thus avoid disasters, embarrassing moments, and otherwise untimely incidents. For myself, I am going to look ahead into September and see where I might be “more timely”, doing things that have deadlines way before they are due. Who knows, I might be sick, forget, or “space it” when the stress builds. No matter what, if I look ahead, plan and prepare, I am more likely to be calm, collected and “with it”!

So look at your upcoming month and ask what you can do to avoid potential disasters. It is surely a habit I am going to incorporate into my schedule. Happy “disaster avoidance”!

I am sure you have had several of this kind in your own life, but yesterday, I brought home from the printers my House of Order Handbook, printed professionally for the first time. It is a very exciting time for me and I wanted to share the joy that comes when you persevere, keep going against the odds, the challenges, and the doubters in your life.

So, share a root beer with your favorite person in my behalf and let's all celebrate. I began writing my book in 1986. Yes, that was twenty years ago! It was a small idea then, mostly articles saved in a binder with tidbits of ideas which came quickly and would have been gone forever except that I wrote them down and put them also in that binder.

So if you have a dream of doing something interesting or exciting in another season of your life, but know it just isn't practical right now, may I suggest a DREAM BINDER. Keep the articles, the pictures, and your ideas in this one special place, and who knows but that twenty years from now you will be the author of your own first book!

Take care now and I will share more of my excitement next week, because if you do one book, you might as well do two (and that's what I am working on for B.Y.U. Education Week in Provo, Utah)....

Storing unused children's clothing in an organized manner can be a real chore unless you have a system set up that works well! If you do, then it is easy, fun, and convenient! So let's get going and get all those extra clothes out of their bedrooms and safely put away for the next child.

1) Gathering supplies. It is best to purchase, find, or collect containers which will be useful for long-term storage. I prefer ones about the size of copy paper boxes (often available for the asking at your local copy center) and/or produce boxes (also available for the asking at your local grocery store in the produce department). They should be stackable (when empty or full), sturdy, and clean.

If you purchase plastic containers, those which are "semi-opaque" make it easier to see inside to the contents and allow for easy labeling of the boxes with large words printed on sheets of paper which are put just inside both ends of the containers. This storage container investment will be well worth the trouble because you will be able to use these containers over and over again until your children are grown.

2) Labeling the containers. I would suggest at least two boxes for each year of your children's ages (one for summer clothes, another for winter clothes). If you have children ages 2-8 you will want 2 boxes labeled "1 year-old summer" and "1 year-old winter" (for clothes which have been outgrown), 2 boxes labeled "2 year-old summer" and "2 year-old winter", and 2 boxes for all the other years to eights years old, plus two boxes labeled "9 years-old summer" and "9 years-old winter" as there always seems to be clothes floating around which are just a bit too big for the oldest child. If you have boys and girls, you can also divide the clothes accordingly "1 year-old girls' summer" and "1 year-old boys' summer", etc.

Sometimes when I suggest so many boxes, people just laugh at me and say they can't possibly devote that much space to storing clothes. If you are in that category, you can use 1 box for every two years of age (and storing the clothes accordingly) or just 1 box for every year (eliminating the separation into summer and winter clothes). It just makes for a little more hassle when getting and out of the boxes.

3) Consider other needs. You might also consider gathering containers and labeling them for: shoes, underwear, swimwear, winter accessories, costumes, and socks. I find these kinds of items easier to store separately as I am in these containers alot. I often use clear ziploc bags which are labeled "1, 2, 3, 4", etc. for the socks' box and keep the appropriate folded socks inside the right labeled bag inside the "socks" box. This allows me to also buy socks on sale and have a place to keep them until they are needed. I use the same method for underwear, taking advantage of sales when I can.

4) Have a massive organizing party. This usually means letting your children share an afternoon at a neighbor's house (and then returning the favor for your neighbor). It means neglecting your ringing phone and doorbell. With focus and hard work, you can empty your children's closets and bedrooms ONE at a time and sort the clothes you desire to store into your containers (which you might lay out around the edges of your master bedroom walls for convenience).

After you have sorted through your clothes, pick out outfits which you will let your children use right now. If you wash about three times a week you might have three shirts and two pants for the elementary-aged children, five shirts and three pants out for your junior high children, and have seven shirts and seven pants out for your high school children. I also suggest one set of Sunday clothes for the boys and two for the girls (until they reach teenagehood when they seem to need more variety). If you wash less often you will proportionally want more clothes out. But, KEEP THE "OUT" CLOTHES TO A MINIMUM. You can rotate more clothes out when you need, but for the most part, KEEP MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES STORED. Children don't need alot of clothes to be happy. They simply have their minds on alot of other things, so keep it simple. (Yes, yes you will want to have a dress-up box handy for those creative moments.)

5) Store the extras away. After you have chosen which clothes to keep out, put the rest of the clothes into the containers, close them up, and store them where they will be convenient and yet out of the way (usually in the basement or a garage). When the seasons change, school begins again, or you find a child is rapidly moving out of the clothes which they are currently wearing, down you go to your storage containers, storing the undersized items and pulling out new, large clothing.

6) A "TO BE STORED" container. As a last thought, I have found it easiest to have one of my storage containers labeled "To Be Stored". Thus, when I am in a rush and receive clothing which needs sorting and storing, or know it is time to put something away but don't have the mental energy to store it right now, I have a temporary stopping place for these items. It helps keep all the clothes confined and conquered!

Good luck this week. Set up a clothing storage system for your children and you will find that everything will be easier at your house from cleaning up their rooms to doing the their laundry.

Fourth Week of July , 2006 - Organizing for the Next Reunion this Reunion!

I attended another family reunion this last month. It was a gathering of extended family from all over the United States for a family wedding. Just as I did at least year's reunion, I re-learned several important things during this three days which might help next time you have a family reunion. So, I decided to share this information again. It is just so timely...

1) Seize the moment. Have an extra copy of the current name, address, email, and phone number list which every participant can check for accuracy so preparing an information list next time will be faster and easier.

2) Always, always, always take pictures while you can. Also, make notes about people you particularly connected with during your visit. For myself, I met people I have never seen before and some of them I particularly enjoyed being around, including a judge who is also a mother of three, an elementary teacher who is now a stay-at-home mom, and a woman that is contemplating the responsibility of having her mother-in-law live in her home soon. We were kindred spirits of sorts and it will be nice to contact them again soon. Being able to network, even with your extended family members, can bring great benefits down the line when you face the same problems or have children who are going through challenges.

3) Prepare for the next time now. Make up a file entitled, “Family Reunion July 2006” and keep in it several things:

a) Keep the schedule of this year’s reunion showing the specific places where you gathered, the games you played, the songs you sang, and a short list of what program items were included. It will save you a lot of time when it is your turn. Instead of wondering, you will just turn to your file and have this important information in front of you.

b) Make brief written notes delineating your opinions about what happened and how you might do it different next time: “the DVD slide show was great because they added music”, “the lunch was delicious except for that one purple salad”, “the name tags were prepared in triplicate and distributed every morning to keep things sorted out which worked wonderfully”.

c) Gather information regarding the professionals that smoothed the way: the company that made up the t-shirts, the printer that compiled the attractive address book, and the company that prepared the slide show DVD.

4) Tie up the loose ends. For instance, make sure you know how long everyone is staying so you can say good-bye to everyone. In our case, some of the relatives left a day earlier than I had expected and I didn’t get to say my “love yous” and “hope you enjoyed our time together” and “I hope we will see each other again”. The last morning they were just gone and I am left empty and sad. Also, make sure you say thank you do those that made it happen when you say your last good-bye. Next time you might need their advice….

I know you are wondering why I am discussing the preparation of the next family gathering even while you enjoy this one, but its important because soon it will be your turn. So seize the moment, keep good notes, take plenty of pictures, and tie up all the loose ends. These gatherings don’t happen often enough and its so easy to make preparations now which will save time, trouble, and hassle the next time around.

Being organized for a layover on a plane (or for that matter, any other inconvenient delay) is an interesting adventure. First of all, you never know when or how it will happen, how long you will be waiting, and under what circumstances your life comes to a sudden slow down or maybe even a sharp and completed stop.

I certainly didn’t know the brake of our plane would give out just as we were about to take off. This means you might need those things you thought about taking on the plane but instead have put in your checked luggage. After all, they are heavy, so why carry on this flight your writing pad or your book that you didn’t even need on your last flight? But here you sit, waiting for at least an hour, maybe two, with nothing to occupy you and sitting so close to two strangers that you are particularly glad you took a shower this morning.

So, what can we learn from this? Double dutch! Yes, double up on any and everything when you travel. Keep a larger book for reading at your leisure in your big suitcase, a smaller, more compact one with you at all times in your purse or carry-on luggage. Keep your writing, zipped pad of paper with you until it is too heavy to be convenient, but always, always, have a small pad of paper and a pencil. Always! You just never know when that important idea will come, when the moment will appear to write the thank you note to your hostess, or what else might come to mind.

Doubling up is a good thing to do any time you are away from home. Having an extra, stored something, some place just gives you the peace of mind to keep yourself entertained, financially able to get a sandwich and to sustain your capacity to do things on paper. You see, the moments of possibility come so unexpectedly. You rush all day to pack and get ready, leaving your writing and reading as undone niceties and then rush to get through security and onto the plane. When you have finally settled and have one, two or three hours free, you find that you’re not properly prepared to work, relax, or learn.

Maybe I am the only one with this problem, for some passengers seemed to have their books ready, but then I saw a lot of bored, frustrated and otherwise impatient passengers who hadn’t planned on this adjustment to their schedule. How would anyone know that and extra hour would be spent waiting while the airplane’s brake was replaced?

So from this experience I have learned to be more thoroughly prepare for the unlikely, although probable possibility that somewhere in any day, at any time, I might find myself with an open minute or an hour to do what I never seem to get to during my regular routines and challenging days. So double dutch everything. It will make it nicer to wait, keep you more relaxed, and help you gain greater expediency in your everyday “travels” (wherever you may be going).

By the way, having written this article on a borrowed laptop (owned by someone more prepared than I), the hour(s) passed more quickly than not and we were soon on our way to Cleveland, Ohio, the next stop on my way home.

It is getting easier and I am getting used to the feelings in my heart, but even as I do, I am learning that when you are in a stressful situation or an unusual place where things are not making much sense, it is best to order yourself in such a way as to do what matters MOST first.

This means that you move from more SIMULTANEOUS living (doing a lot of things all at once) to somewhat SEQUENTIAL living (focusing on one, then another, and finally a third).

It seems that when stress increases, our capacity to deal with a lot of different options, projects, and responsibilities diminishes. This is not because we are weak, bad, or otherwise faulty. It is just a fact of life!

So when the going get rough, tough, and otherwise impossible (even when it doesn’t seem it should be that way from anyone else’s point of view), may I suggest you become more linear and less spatial.

For instance, you have awaken one morning and know it is going to be a “slow” day. You are up late, you are not your best self, the housework seems endless, the children are out of sorts, and your mind is a fog about whether to start the dishes, get a batch of wash going, or maybe just to give up altogether and climb back in bed.

Before you totally give up and just switch on the TV for awhile, list everything that is on your mind. Yes, get it out on paper. Yes, everything. Then separate the tasks into three different kinds: MUST DO TODAY, WOULD LIKE TO GET TO THIS WEEK, and CAN WAIT FOR LATER.

Rewrite your list into three different lists. Put the CAN WAIT FOR LATER list in the back of your planner. (It will be the last list to tackle.) Put the WOULD LIKE TO GET TO THIS WEEK list at the end of this week’s pages. (It will be there when and if you have energy to think about it.)

Now take the MUST DO TODAY list and by adding 1, 2, or 3, etc. to each item of your list, decide the exact order in which you will face your day.

Yes, I know that this is taking a lot of time, but it will save trouble, decision-making, and lots of frustration for the rest of the day. With a list of what to do and in which order to do it, you now have focus, you now can live SEQUENTIALLY. This will make is easier and faster to get going and keep going through the day.

Face the first item, tackle it, take care of it, and then go on to the next (between changing diapers, wiping noses, and answering questions if you have small ones). Then go on to the second item (and answer phones, keep your boss happy, and smile at the customers if you are at work). Then the third, fourth, and on and on.

You will get through today more successful and happier than any other way. Good luck this week. Write if you need help or maybe if you have a story of your own to share at houseoforder@gmail.com.

Some major changes came into my life this weekend. I won’t go into details, but I am sorrowing as I try to comprehend. And in that sorrow I am learning some lessons about keeping your life ordered while you adjust.

1) When change is suddenly thrust upon you, it is important, even essential to GO SLOW. Yes, keep the routines you can trust and know as a part of your life. Eat the same foods with which you are comfortable, wear clothes that fit loosely and won’t trouble you, and most importantly don’t make any major decisions or try to pro-actively alter much about your current situation. The changes which have been thrust upon you are enough for now.

2) Allow those close around you to let you mourn. Let them help you with the dishes, with the wash, and with the housecleaning. You will still need to supervise, to be involved, and to coordinate a lot, but let others take over just a bit. You need to cry, to take long walks, and to get a grip. You hadn’t expected this change and it suddenly, quite unexpectedly, makes everything different from now on.

3) Keep a list. Yes, there will things that come to mind that will need attending to, items which are critical to keep life running smoothly, and others which can wait until you are up and going again. But keep that list up to date so that when you surface again, you can return to functioning with some capacity. I keep this list in the front of my planner. Also, when someone calls and asks if they can help, I reply in the positive and then search down my list until I find something appropriate for the situation. “Would you mind picking up my dry cleaning for me?” “How about weeding my front boardwalk?” “Would it be possible for your to substitute for me on Tuesday?” When friends and acquaintances ask to help, let them. Even the smallest bits of help go a long way to alleviate your stress and fill you with support and love.

4) Lastly, listen to your body. When it needs to eat, eat a bit. When it needs to sleep, slip away into a quiet room and let it rest. When it needs to cry, let it cry and cry and cry. The days will get brighter and shorter and easier to walk through, but when sudden change dumps a lot of emotion on you, respond as your body demands.

Some day soon you will be able to function better again. But go slow, mourn as needed, let others help, and listen to your body until then. Good luck this week! May brighter days be around the corner for both of us.

Are the swim suits, beach towels, multiple flip-flops, goggles, and water toys out at your house? What a mess they can make in your home and back yard. Which belong to you and which are the neighbors? Where do you put the dripping wet clothing items and towels when the children come in from their play? How do you organized the toys and paraphernalia so they can find everything again easily?

Here are some ideas to make this summer just a bit more organized (at least for you):

1) Assign one swimsuit, one set of flip flops, and one bath towel to each child for the entire summer. Label GENEROUSLY as necessary. New swimsuits, flip flops, and bath towels are only given out with good reason and after a hefty penalty (i.e., a tough, tedious summer job). This helps children learn responsibility and maturity (often the hard way).

2) Assign goggles and toys, too, to each child. This means everyone in your family has something(s) for which they are responsible to clean up, even if they didn’t play with it this time around. Or, have one day a week when there is a “life guard” in charge of finishing up the swimming event for today by making sure everything is cleaned up.

3) Have an outdoor dressing room. Hang an umbrella upside down from the roof of your overhang eve, or from the garage roof. Use the metal tips as holders for an old shower curtain. This makes a small, private dressing area for children taking off their wets and getting into their dries.

4) Hang an outdoor clothes line, down low, and teach the children to hang their swimsuits using the clothes pins (which are left on the line for the children's convenience). Have "labeled" bins for the toys, goggles, and flip flops. If you are going to be doing this all summer, make it as easy as possible.

5) Offer a snack (a regular routine at our house) once the swimsuits and towels are hung, the toys put away, and the flip flops all stored.

Its wonderful to have the kids outside playing, its nice when they clean up their own mess, and its great when they can find what they need again tomorrow for the next day in the water. Good luck. It won't be perfect every day, but at least it can be nicer.

Good luck this week. Set up a clothing storage system for your children and you will find that everything will be easier at your house from cleaning up their rooms to doing the their laundry.

First Week of June - Setting Up the Laundry Room to Expedite the Laundry!

We talked about this last year, but it is time to review, revise, and redo! So let's look at the laundry room again and see what we see:

It is always astounding to me the importance of "setting up" a room to get the job done right. This is especially true of the laundry room. You see, we can do this job with no extra helpers, or we can take a day and set up the room to help us for all the years ahead! So my challenge to you this week is to get your laundry room set up to expedite the laundry. How?

1) Store the laundry soap (granulated or liquid) convenient to the washing machine. I like to have mine at the same level as the washing machine, to get the soap in the washer easy and convenient. Currently I buy my laundry soap in granulated form and thus have three 40-lb. buckets stacked on each other, the top one open, right next to my washer. Scooping is easy and there is little spilled soap.

2) Get a wastebasket convenient to the dryer for lint disposal. I have mine at the level of the dryer top so I can pull off the lint, deposit it neatly, and keep the "dust" to a minimum. It may not seem a big deal, but if you have the wastebasket close by, you can collect the lint every time you use the dryer and save money. If you can put it right in the wastebasket without moving much you will also save a mess.

3) Prepare a place to put the clothes when they are dried. This means a rod (usually a tension shower rod between two walls or a curtain rod hung from chain which is connected to hooks screwed into the ceiling). It also means plenty of standardized plastic hangers (get rid of all those various-sized metal hangers which you might have inherited from the dry cleaners, the hangers which came with clothes purchases, and any other odd-sized hangers which are weak and misshapen). Finally, it means setting up a table, countertop or even stocked boxes covered with a blanket where you can fold and stack laundry. This folding table should be located near the dryer to be of the best use. You see, it doesn't have to be expensive or even store-boughten to do the job well. It just needs to be there. Rod, hangers, folding table! Figure out a plan, make some purchase, set things up.

4) Collect or purchase containers for your clean and folded laundry. This will contain it until you can put it away yourself or better yet, have your family members (adult and children alike) help with this part of the process. Remember, those who contribute also appreciate! Besides, it takes a big job and cuts it down to manageable size. Rebecca puts away the wash cloths in the kitchen drawer, Fred puts the main bathroom towels and wash clothes away. Timothy puts the car wash rags back in the garage box. As a final note, you might want these containers to also be the dirty clothes buckets/baskets for your bathrooms. This will save time and trouble. You collect the buckets from the bathrooms, get the wash done, put the wash away and reput the buckets back in the bathrooms again.

5) Buy a timer. Use this to time the washer. Use it to time how long it takes to fold a batch of laundry. Use it when the children put their laundry away as a motivator. It will help keep the laundry process on its way and make it fun, besides!

Doing laundry may never be done. It may never even be pleasant. But you can do several things this week to make it more expedient which will let you get on to other, nicer housework! Have a good week!

She died. Yes, Sally, my sweet cousin, died this last week. Of course, we should have been ready and yet we were surprised, and in the end I found out I wasn’t very organized to help. What I mean is that I have never prepared myself to serve (at a moment’s notice) another who might be suffering. As a matter of fact, even though I have been through the death of my young son, I really don’t think I yet know the best way to give when death has visited.

But I have been thinking about it this weekend, and really believe we can organize ourselves to be ready to serve. This is because the service will always (or almost always) be needed when you already have a packed schedule, other commitments, or some heavy emotional demands. So if you have things prepared, it will be easier to love. Here are three ideas to consider:

1) Have a simple silk flower arrangement, scented candle, or another small, appropriate gift made up, wrapped, and ready to take with you to the home of the bereaved when you first go to visit. This doesn’t have to be fancy or large, but will remind the family (for a long time to come) that you were ready to love when they needed loving.

2) Have a simple, edible treat frozen and ready to share with the family or guests who might be coming to their home. This would best be something that can stay out on the counter without failing, spoiling, or needing much attention. One good woman always kept a tray of cinnamon rolls in her freezer ready to ice and take at a moment’s notice. Oh, how good they tasted to those hungry but with no energy to cook!

3) Have a supply of condolence cards available to choose from to accompany any personal note you might make to send your greetings and feelings to the bereaved by mail. Those who mourn are waiting for your concern, your love, and your written messages. It buoys them up through the long days after the death and funeral.

Yes, I know that you might be able to do more the next time death comes close, but to be ready with something at a moment’s notice will make it more peaceful for you when life’s other obligations are also knocking.

So good luck this week, and hug those kids, your spouse, and your parents for me. It seems someone is always leaving too soon!

I have a cousin that has cancer and is saying goodbye. In addition to being her cousin, I am also an admirer, one who from the distance has watched her hair go and then come again, and now see it gone once more. One who has seen courage and the challenge of living when the will to live is sapped by fatigue and discouragement. She has the same cancer for many years, first small and curable (it seemed), and now all-consuming and terrifying. I was hopeful at the beginning, and told her so, and now must have the same courage and frankness about dying which she shows. She greets me with a “Hello, Marie!” as though today were like any other day we have been together, only now I am the caretaker of her needs and her young son. I love her and I want her to know that now. Not tomorrow, not next week, not when it is too late! Do you have the same unfinished “love you” business in your life, too?

If so, do me a favor. In fact, do yourself a favor. When you are at the store next, buy a package of small note cards (small enough that your message doesn’t need to be long to be meaningful). Come home, put stamps on each of the envelopes, along with a return address label. Put a note card inside the flap of each envelope and put these “packets” in a zip lock bag convenient and ready to serve you. Now you are prepared to tell those you love how much they mean, easily and quickly, with a short note, a lick of the envelope and their address. (There may be times when an email will do the same thing, but for the ill there is something nicer and more tangible about envelopes, handwriting, and a note card to hold.)