Weekly Hints 2004-2005

I don't know about you, but it was a long weekend. There was lots to do, lots of people, lots of clutter, and also lots of merriment. Now we have the "Sandwich Week"! I call it that because its the week between one holiday and another. There are still leftovers from last week to see to while at the same time you are gearing up for another holiday this next weekend.

Mustard: What MUST I do this week to keep things together? Because of the chaos which ensued because of last weekend (you know what I mean: Christmas presents to be put away, leftovers to be used up, trash to depose of, the tidbits and the disorder), this week would best be a time to bring some semblance of order to the home, starting always with the front door, working through the living room and towards the kitchen, the bathrooms, and the bedrooms (in that order). Get as many of the MUSTs done as you can. Neat your home as much as you MUST, prepare for the upcoming weekend, and keeping on adding to that list of Things to do once the holidays are over.

Meat: How can I best MEET (well, it is almost a completely matching word) the needs of those around me? If there is more than can possibly be done, ask those important to you what is the most important item they need attention with during the next few days? Then ask, "What can I say NO to? What can I DELAY? What can I just let go so this will ALSO be a week of diversion and rest for me, too?" Remember, this is supposed to be the holidays! (Oh well, I know that you will be lucky to get one moment's reprieve here and there, but they are worth their value, so take them.)

Mayonnaise: What MAY I desire to do if I have a moment’s peace. The biggest challenge for most homemakers during this "Sandwich Week" is the lack of time alone to do anything. After all, there is usually a spouse around, children home from school, and/or company to entertain. But if you do get a moment’s peace because everyone else is off somewhere, what will be the best use of your time? Decide now so you can act as soon as the van disappears around the corner.

Have a good “SANDWICH” week. If you are still this messed up and confused and disorganized by the end of January, you can get upset and be discouraged. But don’t feel that way this week. You are only half way done. One more major holiday to get through and you will be sailing into the New Year. So MUSTard, MEET (meat) and MAYonnaise your way through the week and your will be more happy, more calm, and more delightful to be around.... Happy Sandwiching!!!

I do a lot of personal home organization coaching. Many women, when they first contact me, say they don’t want to focus on their laundry problems when I come. They want to make big strides in their organizational efforts. And so we clean closets, sort through clothes, and decide upon methods to change their lives.

But over and over again, I notice their laundry piles and am struck that the “more” organized woman has figured out how to handle this consistent irritant in her life: the never-ending, always-present, never-will-go-away laundry.

May I help you along the way to better laundry function using what I have learned myself and from what I see in others’ lives?

1) Never buy anything white (except boy’s and men’s white Sunday shirts, of course). This is because it will never be white again, ever. There will be mustard or catsup or dirt or chocolate to disfigure that beautiful white item. Yes, I know that you can bleach a lot of things. But that is two steps back and only one step forward. Why complicate your life? Just keep to darker neutrals, patterns, and heavier fabrics until your family is grown to save yourself a lot of laundry time.

2) Don’t plan on doing marathon laundry. I know there are miracle workers down the street who do laundry on Mondays and are done for the week, but most of us are moodier than that and if Monday comes and we don’t feel like it, it is two week’s of laundry the next Monday before we know it. Instead, plan to do laundry every day. Yes, Mondays 2x batches of weekend clothes, Tuesdays 1x batch of bath towels, Wednesday 2x batches of weekday clothes, Thursday however-many batches of sheets, Fridays 2x batches of weekday clothes.

3) Always have the washer going while you are doing something else. Buy a timer to remember to get back to it. My favorite ones are at the dollar store and clip right to your collar. Wash in, timer set, and off I go to do whatever. Timer dings, wash to dryer, timer set, and off I go again. Time dings, laundry to counter, 4-5 minutes of misery while I hang it up and fold it neatly into my containers and off I go again to do whatever. This way it is part of my daily dance, not an interruption to it.

4) Reduce, eliminate and otherwise rid yourself of everything but the most basic clothing. 5x tops and 5x bottoms for children under 12, 10x tops and 5x bottoms for teens until they are grown. 10x tops and 5x bottom for yourself and your husband. Add a sweater, light jacket, and heavier coat (along with mittens, hat, scarf for wintertime fun) and you have enough out and about for your family. If you have more, put it up and away.

5) So because it is the holiday season and your children will be climbing the walls, let them help you with that a marathon laundry project to get caught up. Then sort through their clothes and get it down to 5x/5x or 10x/5x plus sweater, jacket, and coat. Put everything else up and away until Spring comes.

6) Do laundry every day during the holidays and let them help. Suzie folds and put the kitchen towels away on Tuesday, Mike and John change their sheets and bring them to the laundry on Thursday. Everyone put their clothes away after they have been washed and folded on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Just think, by the time school starts again, you will have the most basic household routine down pat, AND with the help of your children and spouse. Who could want more for Christmas than that?

I'm a forgetter. Yes, I forget to put new checks in the checkbook. I put bread in the oven and walk away and forget that it’s there. I have even boiled eggs until the water is all gone, the bottom of the pan is burnt, and the eggs are all but vaporized. So to keep myself safe, to function as best as I can, and to continue in life without embarrassment, I have learned several things.

First, it is not shameful to be short on RAM. You are just wired differently than the person down the street who doesn't ever had to make a written note about anything and remembers everything nicely.

Second, maybe you have a lot of RAM but it is busy handling some stress in your life, dealing with a difficult problem at work, or maybe just figuring out how to get the laundry done this weekend.

Third, whatever the reason that you "forget", adjust to it as best as you can by finding easy ways to remember. My three solutions for the above problems are:

1) I put a small post-it note about ten checks before the end of my checkbook. I usually notice the post-it note at the store and put it forward one check. Of course, sometimes I do this three or four or five times before I happened to be writing a check at home and can retrieve new checks. But it keeps me from loading up my cart, have the clerk completely check me out and then realize that I don't have a single check with which to make payment.

2) Whenever I put anything in the oven, I turn the oven light on so I can see into the oven through the door. This is my personal reminder (as I am in and out of the kitchen constantly) that there is something in there that might burn if I am otherwise occupied and neglect to answer the ding of the kitchen timer.

3) I don't put anything on the stove to cook unless I carry a small timer I found at the dollar store with me so its friendly ding can keep newly boiled eggs edible. Otherwise, I can get going with my brain somewhere else and out of the room I go with another project on my mind.

While these are only small adjustments, I have learned to understand my limitations and my frailties. I can work around and above and beyond them. If you have something that regularly gets "forgotten", beat your own RAM, and figure out a new habit to overcome the loss.

Now, just this last week I left a fan on in a remote room of our house and completely forgot about turning it off. It ran merrily for a good twelve hours before I came back into that room again. Because I run that fan every morning to spread the heat from our basement fireplace, I now put a bright pink handkerchief on the stairs where I will be sure to see it as my reminder: "Turn off the fan!"

I hope you have a good week. Remember to keep up with yourself by using little tricks to help your RAM along. Maybe some day we will all be like the “smart” person down the street, but for now we will have to "trick" ourselves into not forgetting.

First Week of December - Are You Ready for the Next Cold or Bout of Flu?

I haven't thought much about being organized for sickness until this past weekend when I got a bad cold. Now I am thinking about it plenty. There is nothing worse than waking up with a sore throat and not having any lozenges to suck, or getting aches in your joints with no pain medication in the cupboard, or needing some nourishment but having nothing that even sounds remotely decent to put in your mouth, let alone in your stomach.

How about three simple ideas for your next shopping trip? Buy up some "illness" toiletries, several over-the-counter medications to make your next illness easier, and some special food for that tender tummy.

"Sickness" Supplies - Purchase a good supply of kleenex, toilet paper, and gallon ziploc bags. They will serve you well as you give the ill person a personal box of tissues for his bedside. This will save spreading germs. You can also have a roll of personal toilet paper in the bathroom to confine the illness as much as possible. You can prepare a gallon ziploc bag, draped over a edges of a small bowl, for the family member in distress. Just upchuck, ziploc, and dispose. It is so much easier for everyone then the mad dash to the toilet which sometimes works and sometimes does not! Even small children will find "instant" relief when the food is coming up. They just sit up, reach for the "upchuck" bowl, and let it go. You may also think of other toiletry supplies specific to your needs. Buy enough of each to get through the next few cold, winter months.

"Sickness" Medication - Depending upon your own experience, you might want to purchase some lozenges, some cough syrup, a bottle of ear ache relief drops, several decongestant/anti-histamine medications, and some kind of pain relief. Get an ample supply to suit the tastes of your family. Then when the ear ache starts in the middle of the night (which seems to be the case with young children), you may be able to hold off getting to the doctor until morning. When the aches and pains set in, you will have medication to relieve the misery. When your children trouble you with their coughs, you can gently encourage a bit of medicine to send them back to sleep. When your head gets stuffy, you can go to the cupboard to feel better instead of taking all that energy making a trip to the store.

"Sickness" Food - Some things just taste better when you are sick. These include cold lemon-lime soda (specifically 7-up), soft-set Jello (particularly raspberry and sometimes orange flavors), and instant butterscotch pudding (and occasionally vanilla). Some chicken noodle soup would also be nice, along with some soda crackers and applesauce for when you feel like having a little bit to eat again after a couple of days of emptying your stomach. What does your family like to have when they are down and out? Stock up on these supplies and set them aside for those inevitable sick days ahead.

Good luck! I hope that you don't get sick this season, but if you or a member of your family does, the "family nurse" will be ready with some "sick" supplies to ease the runny nose, make the upchucks a bit easier, and have some yummy treats to settle down the stomach.

I want this Christmas to be different. I want to look past the gift giving, the decorating, and entertaining, and make it purposeful and meaningful for my family.

As I have thought about it, it occurred to me that the best memories I have are of “doing”, not receiving, not entertaining, not decorating. So, it is my suggestion this next month (because I hope you are planning out December right now in an attempt to get it all done in the next four weeks) that you plan four hours of “family time” where you will DO!

1) Plan one hour where you will cook something together as a family. I am thinking of teaching my sons to make up homemade tootsie rolls, with a new, simple recipe I found. We will wrap them and share them at work, at school, and with friends.

2) Plan one hour where you will make a craft, simple though it may be, to delight an elderly person, a bedridden person, or even the single man down the street. I am planning to make up simple garlands from old Christmas cards, ribbon and small bells. It is not so important what we are going to do, but that I involve my family in doing something with our hands. It is one good way for them to have a “Christmas to remember”.

3) Plan one hour where your family will visit someone alone. You might find yourself in the hospital, just down the street at the widow’s home, or may walking down the midtown streets giving our your tootsie rolls to the homeless who need your attention, your eyes to look directly into theirs, and some extra love.

4) Plan one hour to do anonymous service. I think we will go to a local park and pick up trash. It will be our “gift to the world”.

If you will focus on these four “memories” hours, in the midst of shopping, entertaining, driving to and fro, and preparing for the other parts of Christmas, I think you’ll find that you will, indeed, have a special Christmas to remember. The family will talk of the powdered sugar that got on Mom’s nose while they made tootsie rolls, the fun Christmas card they put right in the middle of the garland, the man with no legs who sang in gratitude for their attentions, and they will never drive past the park again without smiling inside because it is now a part of them.

May the beginning of this holiday season, and all that it brings be special to your heart! Have a good week!

It is going to be Thanksgiving this week. Yeah! My favorite holiday is here. No presents to worry about buying, wrapping, and giving. No precedents to keep with parties, Christmas cards, and decorations. Nothing but good, plain loving, sharing, and delicious food. So this week, as my hint, I suggest that you stop, look, and listen.

1) Stop and smell the aroma of your spouse, your children, your home, and your backyard.

2) Look into everyone’s eyes and discover the color of each. Then say, “I really do love you!”

3) Listen (with your eyes closed is better) to the sounds of your life. The faraway train whistle, the music of children’s laughter, the drumming of the baby’s toy on the floor, the sound of your spouse shaving.

Lastly, take time this week to do something small, simple and thoughtful for each one of these important people in your life: One simple act of kindness. The gratitude will spread up and outward, soon filling your day with great purpose and direction. It is true, ordering your priorities this week by stopping, looking and listening (and doing) will help get your gratitude genes in high gear.

Then, after you have done your kindnesses, ask each of your family to do one small favor for you. You see, we fill the most needed when we have been asked to help. So let them help.

Please, please, please. Don’t make the jobs hard, long, or difficult. But let them help. That feeling of being needed, of being wanted, and of having already had a kindness done to them will touch something inside. They will actually (eventually) want to do help: you, their siblings, and some day a total stranger. It is by small and simple things…. Happy Thanksgiving!

I heard this words from a good friend the other day. You see, some misbehavior that she exhibited as a teenager is repeating itself in her daughter and now she is stuck. She has no precedence with which to cope, nor to correct.

So as my weekly hint, because I know its so important and so lasting in its consequence, is to encourage you to change one place in your life where you are now only getting “upset” but not doing anything about it past that.

Order is more than putting washcloths neatly folded in the drawer, it is more than having the family room cleaned, and it is much, much more than having dinner on the table on time. It is also about resolving, solving, and managing stewardships.

For myself, I know I have some things to change. I know I have things which I must not only get upset about, but must also do “something” about. So my gift to the world this week, and my suggestion to you this week, is to resolve upon a problem which needs addressing, solve the problem in your own mind, and then to do something about it.

Fix it, get rid of it, say “no”, say “not now”, and say “yes, I know I am a mean mom, (or a mean wife or aunt or grandma), but enough is enough, this will not continue”.

Doing so, being strong in the stewardships in your life, standing for the right, and remaining stalwart in your stand, always, always will bring more order to your life.

I know I am speaking personally. I am speaking about everything and anything in your life that you are just letting go “for now”. You cannot change everything right away, but change something. It is a good beginning for this week and will make all the weeks ahead easier. You will not be popular, but you will have done something past just getting upset about it. In the end, it will matter!

I think that most of us are sick. We love to acquire and we love to accumulate. It somehow makes us feel worthwhile in a strange sort of way and seems to justify our existence.

So I am going to encourage you to reverse this trend in a small way. Think about ways you can reduce the acquisition and accumulation addiction which is ever present as we prepare for the upcoming holidays.

1) Warn everyone that you are going to go simple this year: One gift per person in your immediate family (past what Santa may bring), a group gift for those at work, a very small gift for those friends and neighbors who come to the door to exchange holidays greetings, and a special, meaningful gift to that someone special in your life (not money, but time and a coupon of service).

2) Begin a list of items which might be appropriate and preferably in the line of tools versus trinkets. Think preparation, emergencies, and maybe even storage. Buy slippers for cold mornings when the heater might not work for your family, small LED flashlights for employees at work to see when the electricity goes out, and a box of wooden matches in a sealed clear plastic jar for neighbors and nearby friends for local emergencies. Give your spouse or best friend a coupon for 10 free “put away your wash” or “fix your favorite dinner” or “wash the truck”.

3) Look for ways to stay away from the store, stay away from spending money, and stay away from acquisition and accumulation. The more you set the precedence, the example, the sooner others will join you. Life is not about owning, it is about loving. It is not about keeping, it is about giving. Life is about everything and anything but acquiring and accumulation. Give, give, give… this season will be better, your will be happier and everything will be simpler.

It has been almost two weeks now since I got this cold and it simply won’t go away. I am getting “down”, as you might say, watching the piles of paperwork grow, the dust accumulate, and the bathroom dust balls dance whenever I enter. I have a couple more days before this bug is going to leave, I think. What do I do to survive? How will I approach life once my energy comes back? Where will I begin to organize?

As I lay on the couch yesterday resting it occurred to me to quit looking at what wasn’t going right, what wasn’t done, and what I was worrying about and spend just a minute and look at the other side.

3) I am getting better. One of my friends isn’t and probably won’t ever be well again as she struggles with bone cancer.

What am I “down” for? I have everything I need. So I will make up a list of what is bothering me, what needs to be done, what I want to do when I get more energy, the cough goes away, and my nose stops running. Then I will number that list 1-1,000, prioritizing things to suit my situation.

I will tackle this list slowing, gratefully, and simply. I won’t have as fancy a holiday season this year. I will take longer to get the house back in shape. I will just keep it simple and in the meantime be grateful that there is a house to clean, food to cook, and that I am getting better each day.

Good luck this week. I hope you are well. If you are, be glad. If you aren’t, I hope you will be. I am grateful for life, for having you as my friends, and for being able to share our strivings and struggles together.

I have had a bad cold. It has kept me down for a week now and I am feeling totally overwhelmed, unorganized, and out of control. I had enough energy to face the planner this morning and tackle my paperwork. I knew I wouldn’t have much energy for very long and so this was my plan of attack: Three Piles (no more, no less).

1) Pile #1. Things which will need doing as soon as I have energy to do anything (past keeping meals on the table, the laundry done, and the house sort of cleaned up and neat.)

2) Pile #2. Things which will need doing when I get back on my feet and have enough energy to THINK and WORK for more than ten minutes at a time (and still keep meals on the table, the laundry done, and the house sort of cleaned up and neat.)

3) Pile #3. Things which will need doing when I get to them. Some things just have to wait, a long wait maybe, but wait for sure.

Be liberal in telling people that you can’t do it now, can’t do it later, and maybe won’t get to it until next January. It is better to surprise people by being early after such a warning then to have the personal pressure of keeping up pretenses.

Maybe we can start a revolution. Get sick without worry, be able to stay down while we are sick, and then when we are up and energetic again, tackle life with order and stamina and confidence.

Good luck this week. I hope you don’t get this bug. It was a big, black, ugly one!

I cannot overemphasize the importance of doing essential routine items when there isn’t a lot of stress. This applies especially to morning routines. Morning time is not the time to make decisions, prepare for the day, or finalize plans. All that should happen the night before. The morning is for getting ready, eating, and getting out the door. So how can we have better mornings?

1) Make decisions the night before. Decide what you are going to wear tonight. Decide when you need to leave tomorrow to be on there on time and work backwards to when you should set the alarm clock. Decide what you will serve for breakfast (and get the English muffins out of the freezer so you won’t have to thaw them in the microwave before you can even begin to think about toasting them). Decide in what order you will tackle your morning chores so that if something doesn’t get done and has to wait until later, you will have done the most essential jobs first.

2) Prepare the night before. I know families that set the breakfast table right after they do the dinner dishes. It is just as much work as setting in the morning, but it is half the hassle because there’s not so much “stress”. I know families that make up their sack lunches in the evening, too, to facilitate a more leisurely morning routine. I know others that pack up the car for the car pool when the homework is done for the evening so that tomorrow morning the children only have to get themselves in the car.

3) Finalize plans the night before. Does everyone in the whole family know that is happening tomorrow? When will Dad be home? When and where will Mom be picking them up for piano lessons at the school? What special tasks need to be done before they can play with their friends or watch a video? Children and adults don’t like surprises, mistakes, or waiting. Try to alleviate it as much as possible by discussing tomorrow’s plans tonight at the dinner table. Make sure that everyone knows exactly what to expect, when to expect it, and how to react if things don’t quite go quite as planned.

Have a good week. If things aren’t going smoothly for you, try a simple change to “forward” routines and see how much it helps. Making decisions the night before, preparing the night before, and finalizing plans the night before will make a tremendous different in the chaos, stress, and tension of your mornings.

I suffer from DRD. Yes, I know that there are many different significant and challenging disorders out there which are serious and require medical attention, counseling, and much training to deal with and overcome.

But my disorder just comes with being alive. You see, when I focus, I am GONE. When someone, actually anyone, comes up to me and asks me a question or makes a comment or even submits a demand, it takes me a second to come back to the here and now, switch mental gears, and be able to answer.

This particular challenge is more apparent in mothers with more than one small child, mothers with several elementary school children who are home for the afternoon, and especially mothers with teenagers. It is even a challenge for a woman with a husband who works out of the home. If you are around, you are supposed to be HERE, ready and willing, to respond gently, kindly and without hesitation.

So what do we do when we suffer from Delayed Response Disorder? May I suggest three different ways that have helped me have a calmer, more peaceful home life?

1) Train your children to let you have a time alone time for 20-minute increments each. This training can begin as soon as your children are old enough to want their own “time alone” from the baby (so they can play without interruption). Begin by separating from your family for 5 minutes, then work to 10 minutes. Soon you will be able to have 15 minutes alone and finally 20 minutes. Sometimes you will be in the same room so as to be a comfort to your children, but they can learn to respect your need to be GONE. Set a timer and set some rules: no questions, no interruptions, no comments until the timer dings.

You see, all of us need some alone time. We need some silence. We need some space to think through our priorities, our relationships, and maybe just to let our minds rest or to read.

2) Take regular walks. When the children are pre-schoolers, let them come long in the stroller or on their bikes after your morning chores are done. Take a good long walk each day to the park or around the block or even just down to the stop sign and back. It is one of the best ways to get away from the phone, from the TV, from the radio, and from interruptions. Literally be gone, so you can be GONE mentally and emotionally, too.

3) If all of the above just doesn’t work for you, ask an older child or one of your teenagers to be responsible for the children while you go to your bedroom or the office and spend just a moment (meaning 20 minutes) alone working on a project. Shut the door, ignore the phone, and focus.

It is good for them to respect you. In turn, you can let them have their own time alones when you will not interrupt them for doing chores, setting the table, or putting away their laundry. Just have them tell you they are disappearing from the world for a minute, in other words, being GONE. When you give them that space, they will also be more willing to give you that space.

Having Delayed Response Disorder is not wrong or bad, it just a part of life. Gain some time each day to be GONE and you will it easier to here, available and ready to answer questions, settle disputes, and make comments the rest of the time. Good luck this week!

Sometimes you can get a great deal when you buy in bulk, find a discounted price, or are just observant and clever. However, before you buy in bulk, it is wise to try a small amount of the product. For this reason, I suggest that you carry in your vehicle a small cache of plastic spoons, a hand can opener, and a few napkins. And maybe some other supplies, depending on what your shopping needs are.

Often when I see something interesting, if the children are not yet climbing out of the cart and there is enough leisure to take this extra time, I will purchase ONE, return to my vehicle, open it, and try it.

If it is a tool, I will give it a test somewhere safe. I try out a pair of pliers on the nearby garbage can contents, or a screwdriver on the nearest screw I can fine. A mini-flashlight gets its tryout in the rest room, a glue stick on some notepapers from my planner.

If it is baggies, or aluminum foil, toilet paper, or some other toiletry, I buy ONE, then tear it, stretch it, crumple it, and etc. in my vehicle to test its strength, its thickness, and its durability.

With lotion and shampoo, dishwashing detergent, and other “liquid” products, I generally stick to name brands I can trust because usually off-brands are runny, lifeless or otherwise not what I need as far as consistency and “sameness” container to container. But if you find something interesting, buy one, take it back to the car, add some water from your water bottle to the shampoo and see what kinds of suds you get, or use some lotion on your face and see how it feels.

I often do this same thing with lipstick. It if is interesting, it goes on my lips once I have bought ONE tube. Then back I go for more.

With food, I buy one jar, one can, or one container and have a “mini” feast, trying it alone or sharing it with family who are along with me. If it is a winner, back I go for the whole case, the whole stack, or the whole shelf.

So buy in bulk as you can. It saves time, frustration, and decision-making. But be a wise bulk shopper. If is new, untried, or off-brand, buy ONE to try it and then go back and wipe out their supply (as much as you dare).

I know that many of you have recently begun what I call the “school schedule”. You have sent your children off to school now for about three/four weeks and are beginning to settle into a routine that is working pretty well.

What I am going to encourage you to do is to streamline that routine just a little bit to make the rest of the school year go much nicer, easier, and have less bumps.

1) Do you have a specific place where each child puts items that need to be taken to school the next day? This is often called the “Launch Pad” and is a confined place where the child can put their backpack, their school lunch money, their apple for the science class, and anything else they need to remember to take to school. I like to have labeled, plastic buckets, one per child, in our home for the “launch pad”. No one thinks well when in the rush to get off to school. Gathering the night before and putting everything in the “launch pad” makes good sense.

2) Do you have a specific routine for getting the children ready for school each day? Most children should be encouraged to decide what they will wear to school the night before. The clothes should be laid out, complete with socks and shoes. Then tomorrow’s dressing will be quick, decision-less, and easy. Try it, it makes all the difference!

3) Do you have a weekly menu for breakfast that the children can rely on? I know that many of you have cold cereal on school mornings, but even then have you set up a routine for getting the table set, each child’s dishes cleared after eating, and their teeth brushed (and the toothbrush put away and the toothpaste lid put back on)?

Slowly down for the next week and working with each child individually until they have learned these simple habits will make for long-term benefits. Try it, you will definitely like it!

I am finding that life is a continual, very constant learning experience and that organization skills, organization ideas, and organization responses are ever coming and going in my life.

When I began my web page last year just about this time, I hoped to influence others for good, give them ways to find answers at their own pace, and also to share the many new things which I learn every week. This is one of the reasons that I continue to have a weekly web page hint.

When I finished a year’s worth of web page hints (over 100 pages), it seemed prudent and desirable to put these articles into written form so they could be easily shared with friends and relatives. I also enjoy a book over reading on the internet anytime, myself, because I can underline, make margin notes, and add my own articles from other magazines in just the right place to make a wonderful, useful reference manual.

So I made up a book in a looseleaf binder, just as my other materials are, so it will be flexible, wonderfully useable, and also lighten your load. I have found that when I can add and delete from my “tools” they more nearly meet my needs. Maybe this method will help you, too.

So think about how things are going in your own life and remember, I am here to help you. Ask questions, make suggestions, or add your comments. If we all work together, then every week will be a better week for all of us. Thanks for coming and we’ll see you next week.

So many people have asked why a home organization specialist would put a cartooning book on her site, that I thought it best to address the question publicly.

Its really very simple: mothers, aunts, and grandmothers don’t get much of anything done unless their children, nieces and nephews, and grandchildren are occupied. Teaching a child to be self-occupying is one of life’s greatest gifts, both to the child and to yourself. He or she learns to be independent and explore different worlds while you are free to do the same or at least keep up with the laundry.

I am not an advocate of a lot of television, less video games, and even less time on the internet for children. Letting someone else do the speaking, thinking, and acting does little to stimulate their minds, stretch their imaginations, or teach them self-worth and self-discipline.

But what of simple drawing? The child who explores the world of art is at the beginning of a lifetime adventure. Yes, I know I had one of my children become a professional artist and so he was inclined, you might say, in that direction from the beginning. But what of my other three sons? Did they not benefit of this instruction at an early age? Of course; not only did they occupy themselves nicely for long periods of times but they were creative in so many other areas of their life. Even now they are expressing their creativity in different and appealing ways as they mature: pre-medicine with an interest in mechanics, computer science with an interest in journalism, and “still deciding” with an interest in everything.

I believe that teaching my children to draw, then letting them go to, was an important “simple” thing that has turned into gigantic benefits all around. So what better way to help you help yourself than to offer a book which will let you teach your children to draw or even let them teach themselves how to draw.

The Cartooning Fun book is complete with simple drawings. Fancy drawings confuse and discourage children of all ages. It is easy in instruction and direction, letting the children roam with their imaginations with the inhibition of seeing how someone else did it. So I encourage you, whether you buy my Cartooning Fun book or find others elsewhere, to take a little time to teach your children to drawing simple cartoons and watch them occupy themselves and strive to grow in their skills even as you have more time to keep up your home, get those dishes done, and maybe even take a turn with the pencil yourself!

Organizing toys, just like most other overwhelming home manager projects, can best be simplified and comprehended by identifying the different types of toys in your home. For myself, I categorize toys into three major kinds:

1) Furniture-type toys. These are large, not easily confined anywhere, and tend to look messy whenever they are out because children don’t leave anything neat, squared in a room, or upright. These toys also include bikes, plastic “play houses”, rocking horses, and anything else, indoors or outdoors, that is large and bulky. They are best stored by having a “home” where they are put as the house or yard is cleaned up. I have found that lines made of duct tape or painted on the floor of the garage help children “park” their bikes easily, and specific areas in their bedrooms where the other large toys belong, helps a child to know when he is done cleaning up.

2) Medium-sized toys. These toys scatter through the day but are easily confined to copy paper boxes, large plastic containers, or shelving. However, for the most part, children tend to have too many of these toys out, which means that there always seems to be a mess.

For that reason, I suggest you send most of these toys “on vacation”. Make up seven containers. Label each with the names of exotic places. I like Philadelphia, Cincinnati, Memphis, San Francisco, Baltimore, Chicago, and Atlanta. Divide the medium-sized toys into these seven boxes. The children are allowed to get out and play with one box of toys at a time. When they are done with “Chicago’s” toys and have cleaned them up, they are given any other box of toys they desire. Remember, always have children clean up their own mess. The smaller the messes to clean up, the more readily they will obey. This is true even if they clean up more frequently during the day.

3) Tiny toys. These are the bits and pieces of a larger “toy” and include legos, doll clothes and accessories, Lincoln logs, puzzles and any other “toy” that is made up of small pieces of various sizes and shapes. These are best confined to ziploc bags if there are fewer pieces, which are labeled for ease of storage and relocating.

When the pieces become too massive for ziploc storage, I suggest that they be located on the center of a twin bedsheet. When the children are done playing with the toys, pick up each corner of the sheet, pull up, and deposit into a large produce box (found at local grocery stores) or clear plastic container. The drawing up of the corners of the sheet automatically cleans up the toys as long as the children have kept the pieces confined to the area of the sheet. Again, the children clean up one mess before they are allowed to get out any other toys.

Because I use standardized boxes, wall bookshelves, and clear plastic containers for my toys, I can line them up along the children’s bedroom wall. When they want something out, they ask, I retrieve, and they play. When they clean up, I inspect, I put away the box or container, and they choose another. I am very involved in their “play” when they are young, but as they grow more mature, they simply come ask permission to clean up, put away, and get out another toy. The house never is very messy because it is never allowed to get that way.

I hope these ideas help. There are many good library books to peruse or home improvement store books to purchase which will give you innovative ideas to decoratively store these treasures. Good luck this week! Remember: Divide, confine, and conquer!

082905- Borrowing Money to Stay Ahead

I received the following email which I have been given permission to share:

I can't tell you enough how much motivation you gave me to get my house and life organized. I've never known where to begin, but you've done a
great job of making that clear. You were very inspiring and I'm amazed at how
organized you are! I never knew people like you actually existed!

I do have a question about our budget. My husband and I live on his paycheck month to month, and we're always a month behind. He gets paid on the 15th. But mortgage is due a couple of days before, and car payment and utilities before that, so he actually borrows from his best friend to cover us for the week and pays him back the day he gets paid. I know this is a no to borrow first of all, but I don't know how we can get ahead when we are already behind. We don't have debt on credit cards...just car and house but feel we're always one step behind. Any advice? Thanks! Anonymous Anne

Dear Anonymous: I hope that you are willing and ready for an interesting ride. You are one month behind, right? This equals a certain amount of money, right? I would like to suggest that you:

1) Make up the graph paper chart (graph paper pads are available at office supply stores) just like you would if you had consumer debt (yeah, for not being in debt that way - keep it up). You see, you are in debt to yourself. Keep up the same pattern of borrowing and paying back just as you have done in the past. At the same time begin to save up money to get ahead. Let's say that you can knock off $20/week off your food budget, $10/month off your clothing budget, and $5/month off your spending money.

2) Set up a new savings account. Put any extra money you can save into it. Let's say that you decide to not eat out one time a month and save $30.00. Let's say that here and there you decide to save instead of spend. Put that in the new savings account. In other words, slowly but diligently build up the amount of money that you will need to be on time.

3) Tell your “lender” friend about your plan. Let him know of your progress, for he will appreciate your diligence, and soon you will be free to pay your own debts on time.

4) When you have the total amount needed saved, begin paying off your bills from your own accounts. I know that it will take some time, and that it will be hard because you have been doing it otherwise, but know it will be well worth a “small” sacrifice now for the bigger benefit of being completely independent later on.

I would really like you and anyone else in your situation to try this plan. I believe that because of your restraint and diligence in not getting into consumer debt, you can tackle this challenge. Good luck and let me know how it goes! Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

When You Miss Something Important

It was Education Week at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah last week and I had the privilege of speaking some nine times at different home organization sessions. However, because of those preparations and my involvement in getting my printed materials ready, in addition to preparing for the weekly radio show, I totally spaced writing my weekly column for my web page until it way too late to do it “right”. Have you had the “totally-spaced” experience before, too?

If so, I have a few suggestions for myself and anyone else who needs to make an apology for being later or forgetting. Make your apology, being as honest as you can about what really happened, and then make preparations so that it will never happen again.

I remember that after I had missed an important birthday two years in a row because it was on the 3rd of the month and by the time I remembered to turn the page on my calendar (this was before I discovered planners), it was too late to send a birthday card or make a timely phone call. So, on the third year, I decided to make preparations to avoid another disaster. I put the note regarding this birthday, and every other birthday within the first week of the month, on the first day of the last week of the previous month.

I will do the same thing with next year’s Education Week’s web page article. I will make a note to write it in the middle of the July (when I am less stressed), so all I have to do is add it at the right time.

In many ways, there are so many other times and places where we can look ahead and thus avoid disasters, embarrassing moments, and otherwise untimely incidents. For myself, I am going to look ahead into September and see where I might be “more timely”, doing things that have deadlines way before they are due. Who knows, I might be sick, forget, or “space it” when the stress builds. No matter what, if I look ahead, plan and prepare, I am more likely to be calm, collected and “with it”!

So look at your upcoming month and ask what you can do to avoid potential disasters. It is surely a habit I am going to incorporate into my schedule. Happy “disaster avoidance”!

Have a good week. Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

August 8, 2005 - Getting the Homework Done

One of the many concerns of mothers (and sometimes grandmothers and aunts) is getting homework done in a timely manner. Just as you are wrapping up summer and getting supplies purchased for school, this deep worry tends to settle into your mind. How will they do this year? Is there anything more I can do to help them? Yes!

1) Set up a place, quiet and secluded (but within your ever watchful supervision) where your children can do their homework.

I know that some have a quiet hour after school when the kitchen table is the “homework” table, but the rules include no talking, no face-making, and no silly noises. In other words, there is a serious attempt to keep them focused on their work.

When the homework is ready to be checked, this mother quietly talks to the child in the same room, but a far corner, about what has been done right and wrong. After making corrections, the child is free to leave the “homework” table and pursue other, more attractive activities.

I know other mothers who have found that a personal desk in the child’s bedroom is very helpful for homework. With a small overhead book shelf, personal office supplies, and a good light, homework time also becomes a time to be alone, to think, to wonder, and to dream (which sometimes isn’t exactly the idea). But if the child is left in his room until the homework is done and can’t do anything until then, they soon get to the task.

2) Have a regular time for homework. I know some mothers who let their children play with friends for an hour after school lets out and then the family gathers back home for homework. This tends to get out the wiggles, refresh their minds, and make them more likely to get it done expediently.

Other mothers find that it is better to feed their children a snack, pull out the books, and get the homework done before any friends are allowed into the house or the children are allowed to go out and play.

3) Motivate with before… Children will do little, if anything, without some motivation which will keep their energy up through the process of homework. It is helpful to always remind them of something wonderful, lovely, exciting, or interesting that will follow. “We will watch a short video when you are done!” “I will serve an extra piece of cake to everyone who gets their homework done and corrected before Dad gets home!” “You may have John over when you homework is done!” You get the pattern.

Some children need more supervision and encouragement than others. I know one mother who had a child that struggled with reading way past the normal time for children to “get it”. However, she patiently worked each day with the child, helping her and motivating her with attention and encouragement. It took longer to get the work done than most of her other children, but once this child understood reading, she turned out to be the best and fastest one of them all. She hit her stride and off she went to become more independent, self-motivating, and creative than her mother could have ever expected.

So set a time, set a place, get creative with motivators, and be patient with the “slower” one. Soon homework routines will become a natural part of your children’s days and they will understand that you mean business when you say it is “homework” time. And, they will be all the better students for your diligence.

Good luck this next school year! I know, because I have been there, that every day you help them get through their homework is one day closer to them turning out to be mature, delightful, creative adults (who will thank you frequently for being there during this critical time of their lives).

Have a good week. Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

If there is a chance that you might move (but maybe not for a while), what do you do? This very circumstance can happens to you from time to time. You put your house up for sale knowing that the market is volatile and it might be months, it might be weeks, or it might happen tomorrow.

And, in between times, what are you to do? The pressures of moving are many, you need to be ready to be out of a house in 30 days or less, and yet you want to maintain a semblance of "ordinary living" in the meantime.

May I suggest a successful plan for pre-packing and living out of boxes that works very well?

1) Begin gathering boxes. They should be easy to open and close, stackable, and sturdy. My favorite sources are those found at copy centers (copy paper boxes which are sometimes free for the asking) and produce boxes (usually free if you’re friendly with your produce stocker at the local grocery store). Both of these boxes meet the requirements: easy to open and close, stackable, and sturdy.

If free boxes are not available, purchase the best you can afford. Try to keep them the same size, shape, and durability. This makes them easy to stack and store.

2) Begin going through your closets and cupboards. Discard and give away every possible item you really, really don't need. You will be surprised how much you will pack, move, unpack and then wonder why you went to all that trouble when you could have just given it away now instead of later. Be ruthless. Give away, give away, give away!

3) After your grand giveaway is done (good job!), put away items which you want to keep but which are not necessary to your every day living. These include treasures, less-read books (which should be kept in the smaller boxes so they will be easy to lift and move), craft supplies, out-of-season clothing, and unused toys. It is best to keep like with like. Don't mix books, toys, fabric, and papers in one box because retrieving becomes more complicated.

4) Label the boxes with large letters with a permanent marking pen indicating the contents. It just might be you will need something before you actually move and you want to easily locate it.

5) Stack these boxes along a bedroom wall, in the garage, or in the basement (if you are lucky enough to have one). Try to keep all the boxes together. This facilitates rummaging through them to find something you have packed. If you pack someone's treasures, of course, there will be some mixing of items, but keep each person's items in separate boxes (even if some of the boxes aren't completely full yet).

6) Start all over again packing more things away. Once the first items are gone, you will still see many other things which really aren't necessary to your everyday functioning and could easily be stowed.

7) Finally, for the third time, go through your house and pack away things which you really, really don't need. This process makes your home look neater, bigger, and less-cluttered. These are real benefits when persuading a potential buyer your house is just the right one. A neat, orderly house is very appealing and besides, with this all this pre-packing you have half of your packing done and you will have far less housework.

Good luck with your potential move. Remember, when the decision to move is made, begin packing NOW! (There will be enough stress making arrangements, renting a truck, and finding a new place to live. Don't let packing be part of the problem. Instead make it part of the solution.)

July 25, 2005 - Organizing for the Next Reunion this Reunion!

I attended a family reunion this last weekend. It was a gathering of extended family from all over the United States and Canada, all descendants of my husband’s maternal grandparents. I learned several important things during this three days which might help next time you have a family reunion.

1) Seize the moment. Have an extra copy of the current name, address, and phone number list which every participant can check for accuracy so preparing the list next time will be faster and easier.

2) Always, always, always take pictures while you can. Also, make notes about people you particularly connected with during your visit. For myself, I met people I have never seen before and some of them I particularly enjoyed being around, including a judge who is also a mother of three, an elementary teacher who is now a stay-at-home mom, and a woman that is contemplating the responsibility of having her mother-in-law live in her home soon. We were kindred spirits of sorts and it will be nice to contact them again soon. Being able to network, even with your extended family members, can bring great benefits down the line when you face the same problems or have children who are going through challenges.

3) Prepare for the next time now. Make up a file entitled, “Family Reunion July 2005” and keep in it several things:

a) Keep the schedule of this year’s reunion showing the specific places where you gathered, the games you played, the songs you sang, and a short list of what program items were included. It will save you a lot of time when it is your turn. Instead of wondering, you will just turn to your file and have this important information in front of you.

b) Make brief written notes delineating your opinions about what happened and how you might do it different next time: “the DVD slide show was great because they added music”, “the lunch was delicious except for that one purple salad”, “the name tags were prepared in triplicate and distributed every morning to keep things sorted out which worked wonderfully”.

c) Gather information regarding the professionals that smoothed the way: the company that made up the t-shirts, the printer that compiled the attractive address book, and the company that prepared the slide show DVD.

4) Tie up the loose ends. For instance, make sure you know how long everyone is staying so you can say good-bye to everyone. In our case, some of the relatives left a day earlier than I had expected and I didn’t get to say my “love yous” and “hope you enjoyed our time together” and “I hope we will see each other again”. The last morning they were just gone and I am left empty and sad. Also, make sure you say thank you do those that made it happen when you say your last good-bye. Next time you might need their advice….

I know you are wondering why I am discussing the preparation of the next family reunion even while you enjoy this one, but its important because soon it will be your turn. So seize the moment, keep good notes, take plenty of pictures, and tie up all the loose ends. These reunions don’t happen often enough and its so easy to make preparations now which will save time, trouble, and hassle the next time around.

Have a good week. Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.c

July 18, 2005 - Organizing for Heat, Chaos, and Drag

I have received several emails from you indicating growing challenges because of the summer’s heat, the chaos from having children all around all the time, and the drag which seems to attend mid-summer housework routines.

May I suggest three ways to overcome this heavy load? There are specific skills to change, improve, and adjust to make summertime just a bit more pleasant and endurable.

1) Have plenty of “easy” things to serve at meals. This means stocking up on meals which take little time and effort and then preparing dinner in the morning (when the house tends to be cooler). I encourage you during these hot, hot days to have more meals that are “heat the meat” and put over taco chips or hamburger buns or tator tots than having oven-baked enchiladas, lasagnas, and crock pot meals. There is no need to make the afternoon kitchen hotter than usual.

2) Have a certain part of each day which is “quiet” time. This siesta time, usually one or two full hours after lunch, is when each child is left to do his own thing alone (which usually means that you can do something alone, too). No friends, no interruptions, no movies, and no phone calls. You may read, draw, do a craft, or stare at the ceiling from the comfort of your bed, but the house is kept quiet! This provides a respite from the hectic infighting and traumatic interplay which is so much a part of living on top of each other (and which is aggravated by the heat and the long days, whether or not you have air conditioning).

When the one/two hours is done, back come the friends, away go the kids for a splash through the sprinklers, and out comes Mom to return to her homemaking duties. Everyone is refreshed and ready to finish out the day. Try it before you laugh. It really works!

3) In addition to beginning your school supplies, school clothes, and school shoes shopping lists, may I suggest that whatever grocery shopping or errands you may need to do, you do first thing in the morning. The day is different then, less hot, more calm, and because you are “fresh” decision-making is easier, the kids are more tolerant of each other, and you will be back home and safe from the sun before it really gets too hot.

In a couple of weeks, it will be time to really settle down to getting the kids ready for school, but for now, prepare light, easy meals right after breakfast, set aside “quiet” time each afternoon for your family, and always, always run errands and grocery shop early. Your summer mood will improve and you will get through it nicer, easier, and with a happier family!

Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

July 12, 2005 - Feeding the Neighborhood

I received the following email which I would like to share:

Dear Marie,

I have a question. Do you have any advice about dealing with snacks and meals for children’s friends during the summer? Let me explain. I have two sons that are 7 and 8. On our street there are 12 boys in that age group, (and that doesn’t include girls!) I like to give them inexpensive snacks during the summer, like bubble gum, Popsicles, popcorn, suckers, etc., and I also feed them lunch if they are at our house at lunch time. However I have noticed that the numbers are growing and I’m feeding more and more children.

Some of the neighbors do the same thing, but others seem to be perfectly happy to have their children eat over and never reciprocate. I want to be charitable and kind to the children, but it’s getting to be time consuming and I find myself having negative feelings about it. I’m also having trouble explaining to my children why it is not appropriate to bring all the kids home for lunch or to go over to the neighbor’s house and ask for food.

I would really like to hear your opinion on this subject.

Dear Anonymous:

One thing must be born in mind: YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!

1) All things must be done in order, with moderation, and with a pattern. Otherwise you are going to be feeding the whole neighborhood and then some EVERY day. And your resentment will grow and grow. Besides, there is no easy method to appropriately and completely be compensated by others (so don’t plan on it).

2) The best way to rein in a situation which has grown out of control is to IMMEDIATELY set parameters which best meet your needs:

a) Set up a plan. How many days will you entertain youthful guests at your home? How many children will you feed? How will you ask the children to leave when you are having a lunch meal alone or when you are having a lunch meal with only certain children?

b) Sit down with your children and explain your challenge. Children tend to repeat what you say [i.e. don’t say this is a problem or I don’t like feeding so many kids] and so you will need to put a positive spin on it [i.e. we are going to initiate a new plan to have special picnic days with our friends].

c) Suggest to them your new plan, ask for their approval and cooperation. Set the plan in place by informing every child that comes into the home during the next week (when they arrive) of your new plan. This avoids embarrassment when you have to tell them to leave later or tell them that you will not be serving lunch (just as they are noticing that you are getting out the food).

3) Some possible plans are:

a) Treat day (Mondays and Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. and 3:30 p.m.). A “feed the clan” picnic on Fridays. All comers welcome.

b) Snacks served whenever but no more children for lunch. Once a month have a picnic at a local park (where each child is to bring his own lunch).

c) Lunch “invitations” are given out to one guest per your child on any given day. This way you will be only feeding twice the number of children you have. (This has challenges because then someone has to leave without being fed. And what if there are many children playing all morning?)

4) Tell children when they first arrive in the morning that you will be having a backyard picnic today and they can skip home and bring back a sack lunch if they want to join you.

5) Teach your children to come home when they are hungry and only accept an meal invitation if it is extended, they have called home, and have asked permission. Setting this example will help other families get the point quickly and politely without you making a major deal of the problem.

Good luck, Ann-onymous! I am sure that you can do what needs to be done to keep it a wonderful summer without resentment or inconvenience past what you can accept!

Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

July 5, 2005 - Wet Rag Management

I have received an email from Cheryl Warnick asking me to address Wet Rag Management: "Rags are my pet peeve! Wet Kitchen rags, bathroom washcloth rags, towels. I have some ideas about drying and storing them until its time to wash them, but I know I would benefit from hearing your take on it. " (email from cw to mcr 061205)

Wet rags are a challenge for any homemaker for two reasons: 1) If they are not washed within a reasonable period of time, they begin to smell. 2) If they are to be dried before they are washed, they take up a considerable amount of room to dry (although I have heard of some women who put dirty rags into the dryer to dry).

So how do we tackle this problem? I have seen several successful ways which I would like to pass on.

1) If you do your wash regularly (i.e. every day or every other day) and your laundry room is near your kitchen, keep a small plastic tub nest to your washing machine for the deposit of all wet wash rags and towels from the kitchen (most women find that this is an important daily exchange to keep things sanitary and sweet-smelling in the kitchen). This keeps them in view for addition to the next load.

2) If you don't do your wash regularly (i.e. less than every three days) the rags will have to be dried to keep them from smelling, dampening other laundry, and soon making everything around them damp enough to begin mildewing. This can be accomplished in one of several ways:

a) Having a small clothesline hung in your laundry room along a wall (two "eye" bolts screwed into the wall about four inches out from the corner), some heavy string or light nylon rope, and a dozen or so clothespins completes the setup. Use this to hang up the dirty rags until wash day. (I have also seen this system used to hang wet plastic bags for draying and reuse, too.)

b) Having a row of coat hooks also does the job. Hang the rag over the hook and let dry. Clear yesterday's rags when it is time to add today's.

3) I have seen people leave their washrags hanging over the edges of their dirty clothes baskets until they dry, but I find this unsightly and don't prefer it myself. I have also seen a bathroom towel rack which is exclusively used to dry washcloths before they are thrown in the dirty clothes basket (the job of the person cleaning the bathroom for that day). I have seen other women who encourage their children to take their wash rags (after bathing or showering) down to the laundry room clothesline or "coat rack" in exchange for a small treat (when the system is first being tested and tried).

You may have other ideas. I would enjoy hearing how you solve this problem. Write me soon!

Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

June 27, 2005 - Handling Children's Wet Waterwear

Are the swim suits, beach towels, multiple flip-flops, goggles, and water toys out at your house? What a mess they can make in your home and back yard. Which belong to you and which are the neighbors? Where do you put the dripping wet clothing items and towels when the children come in from their play? How do you organized the toys and paraphernalia so they can find everything again easily?

Here are some ideas to make this summer just a bit more organized (at least for you):

1) Assign one swimsuit, one set of flip flops, and one bath towel to each child for the entire summer. Label GENEROUSLY as necessary. New swimsuits, flip flops, and bath towels are only given out with good reason and after a hefty penalty (i.e., a tough, tedious summer job). This helps children learn responsibility and maturity (often the hard way).

2) Assign goggles and toys, too, to each child. This means everyone in your family has something(s) for which they are responsible to clean up, even if they didn’t play with it this time around. Or, have one day a week when there is a “life guard” in charge of finishing up the swimming event for today by making sure everything is cleaned up.

3) Have an outdoor dressing room. Hang an umbrella upside down from the roof of your overhang eve, or from the garage roof. Use the metal tips as holders for an old shower curtain. This makes a small, private dressing area for children taking off their wets and getting into their dries.

4) Hang an outdoor clothes line, down low, and teach the children to hang their swimsuits using the clothes pins (which are left on the line for the children's convenience). Have "labeled" bins for the toys, goggles, and flip flops. If you are going to be doing this all summer, make it as easy as possible.

5) Offer a snack (a regular routine at our house) once the swimsuits and towels are hung, the toys put away, and the flip flops all stored.

Its wonderful to have the kids outside playing, its nice when they clean up their own mess, and its great when they can find what they need again tomorrow for the next day in the water. Good luck. It won't be perfect every day, but at least it can be nicer.

Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

I have the wonderful opportunity of going to Brigham Young University - Idaho's Education Week this next week in Rexburg, Idaho. I will be gone from Tuesday until Friday and will be presenting six different classes on home organization. Jim's parents are coming in Monday to spend a day, too, on their way from Illinois back to Portland, Oregon. And today we held the funeral of a premature little girl of some good friends. She was born on Monday and died on Wednesday, just 36 short hours to love and learn and now mourn. So, guess what, I am in auto-pilot (see my weekly hint from several weeks ago). If you could be patient with me, I will be back here on June 21st to share with you again...probably about coming home successfully from a vacation or maybe how to control, corral, and otherwise work through children's swimsuits, towels, and water toys..

We'll see... But for now, for this weekend, kiss you little ones for me, make a nice dinner for your husband, or give part of yourself away to someone. Where you can find someone to love, you are blessed. So am I! See you next week...

June 13, 2005 - Managing Children's Clothes

Cheryl Warnick wrote me over the weekend and requested that I address this subject. I also recently shared some of my ideas while visiting with Cindi O'Neill. Now I am excited to share them with you!

Storing unused children's clothing in an organized manner can be a real chore unless you have a system set up that works well! If you do, then it is easy, fun, and convenient! So let's get going and get all those extra clothes out of their bedrooms and safely put away for the next child.

1) Gathering supplies. It is best to purchase, find, or collect containers which will be useful for long-term storage. I prefer ones about the size of copy paper boxes (often available for the asking at your local copy center) and/or produce boxes (also available for the asking at your local grocery store in the produce department). They should be stackable (when empty or full), sturdy, and clean.

If you purchase plastic containers, those which are "semi-opaque" make it easier to see inside to the contents and allow for easy labeling of the boxes with large words printed on sheets of paper which are put just inside both ends of the containers. This storage container investment will be well worth the trouble because you will be able to use these containers over and over again until your children are grown.

2) Labeling the containers. I would suggest at least two boxes for each year of your children's ages (one for summer clothes, another for winter clothes). If you have children ages 2-8 you will want 2 boxes labeled "1 year-old summer" and "1 year-old winter" (for clothes which have been outgrown), 2 boxes labeled "2 year-old summer" and "2 year-old winter", and 2 boxes for all the other years to eights years old, plus two boxes labeled "9 years-old summer" and "9 years-old winter" as there always seems to be clothes floating around which are just a bit too big for the oldest child. If you have boys and girls, you can also divide the clothes accordingly "1 year-old girls' summer" and "1 year-old boys' summer", etc.

Sometimes when I suggest so many boxes, people just laugh at me and say they can't possibly devote that much space to storing clothes. If you are in that category, you can use 1 box for every two years of age (and storing the clothes accordingly) or just 1 box for every year (eliminating the separation into summer and winter clothes). It just makes for a little more hassle when getting and out of the boxes.

3) Consider other needs. You might also consider gathering containers and labeling them for: shoes, underwear, swimwear, winter accessories, costumes, and socks. I find these kinds of items easier to store separately as I am in these containers alot. I often use clear ziploc bags which are labeled "1, 2, 3, 4", etc. for the socks' box and keep the appropriate folded socks inside the right labeled bag inside the "socks" box. This allows me to also buy socks on sale and have a place to keep them until they are needed. I use the same method for underwear, taking advantage of sales when I can.

4) Have a massive organizing party. This usually means letting your children share an afternoon at a neighbor's house (and then returning the favor for your neighbor). It means neglecting your ringing phone and doorbell. With focus and hard work, you can empty your children's closets and bedrooms ONE at a time and sort the clothes you desire to store into your containers (which you might lay out around the edges of your master bedroom walls for convenience).

After you have sorted through your clothes, pick out outfits which you will let your children use right now. If you wash about three times a week you might have three shirts and two pants for the elementary-aged children, five shirts and three pants out for your junior high children, and have seven shirts and seven pants out for your high school children. I also suggest one set of Sunday clothes for the boys and two for the girls (until they reach teenagehood when they seem to need more variety). If you wash less often you will proportionally want more clothes out. But, KEEP THE "OUT" CLOTHES TO A MINIMUM. You can rotate more clothes out when you need, but for the most part, KEEP MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES STORED. Children don't need alot of clothes to be happy. They simply have their minds on alot of other things, so keep it simple. (Yes, yes you will want to have a dress-up box handy for those creative moments.)

5) Store the extras away. After you have chosen which clothes to keep out, put the rest of the clothes into the containers, close them up, and store them where they will be convenient and yet out of the way (usually in the basement or a garage). When the seasons change, school begins again, or you find a child is rapidly moving out of the clothes which they are currently wearing, down you go to your storage containers, storing the undersized items and pulling out new, large clothing.

6) A "TO BE STORED" container. As a last thought, I have found it easiest to have one of my storage containers labeled "To Be Stored". Thus, when I am in a rush and receive clothing which needs sorting and storing, or know it is time to put something away but don't have the mental energy to store it right now, I have a temporary stopping place for these items. It helps keep all the clothes confined and conquered!

Good luck this week. Set up a clothing storage system for your children and you will find that everything will be easier at your house from cleaning up their rooms to doing the their laundry.

Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

June 6, 2005 - Setting Up the Laundry Room to Expedite the Laundry!

It is always astounding to me the importance of "setting up" a room to get the job done right. This is especially true of the laundry room. You see, we can do this job with no extra helpers, or we can take a day and set up the room to help us for all the years ahead! So my challenge to you this week is to get your laundry room set up to expedite the laundry. How?

1) Store the laundry soap (granulated or liquid) convenient to the washing machine. I like to have mine at the same level as the washing machine, to get the soap in the washer easy and convenient. Currently I buy my laundry soap in granulated form and thus have three 40-lb. buckets stacked on each other, the top one open, right next to my washer. Scooping is easy and there is little spilled soap.

2) Get a wastebasket convenient to the dryer for lint disposal. I have mine at the level of the dryer top so I can pull off the lint, deposit it neatly, and keep the "dust" to a minimum. It may not seem a big deal, but if you have the wastebasket close by, you can collect the lint every time you use the dryer and save money. If you can put it right in the wastebasket without moving much you will also save a mess.

3) Prepare a place to put the clothes when they are dried. This means a rod (usually a tension shower rod between two walls or a curtain rod hung from chain which is connected to hooks screwed into the ceiling). It also means plenty of standardized plastic hangers (get rid of all those various-sized metal hangers which you might have inherited from the dry cleaners, the hangers which came with clothes purchases, and any other odd-sized hangers which are weak and misshapen). Finally, it means setting up a table, countertop or even stocked boxes covered with a blanket where you can fold and stack laundry. This folding table should be located near the dryer to be of the best use. You see, it doesn't have to be expensive or even store-boughten to do the job well. It just needs to be there. Rod, hangers, folding table! Figure out a plan, make some purchase, set things up.

4) Collect or purchase containers for your clean and folded laundry. This will contain it until you can put it away yourself or better yet, have your family members (adult and children alike) help with this part of the process. Remember, those who contribute also appreciate! Besides, it takes a big job and cuts it down to manageable size. Rebecca puts away the wash cloths in the kitchen drawer, Fred puts the main bathroom towels and wash clothes away. Timothy puts the car wash rags back in the garage box. As a final note, you might want these containers to also be the dirty clothes buckets/baskets for your bathrooms. This will save time and trouble. You collect the buckets from the bathrooms, get the wash done, put the wash away and reput the buckets back in the bathrooms again.

5) Buy a timer. Use this to time the washer. Use it to time how long it takes to fold a batch of laundry. Use it when the children put their laundry away as a motivator. It will help keep the laundry process on its way and make it fun, besides!

Doing laundry may never be done. It may never even be pleasant. But you can do several things this week to make it more expedient which will let you get on to other, nicer housework! Have a good week!

It is Memorial Day and it is raining! What a mess! The outdoor breakfast had to come inside, the planned games at the park will not take place because we are having hail, rain, and wind. The mid-afternoon hike up the mountain will result in mud, frustration, and chills and wouldn't be too wise because of the thunder storms. What do you do when the weather or other detractors make for a ruined holiday?

A well-organized woman is always trying to think ahead, making adjustments, and often smiling through her tears. I know you might think it strange, but we decided to have a "winter party" today. We will light up the gas fireplace, and make up hot chocolate with marshmallows and homemade donuts. We will have all the kids bring their bedding from the bedrooms and have a joint "breakfast in bed". Since they will be restless soon, we will plan a treasure hunt, labeling all the rooms of the house as different parts of an ancient castle (dungeon, keep, jail, princess' loft) and hiding clues under furniture so the kids can eventually find a small wicker basket with goodies inside.

After hot clam chowder for lunch, we will go for a drive to the nearest "open" grocery store where we will take a hike up and down the aisles and have the kids purchase the items necessary to bake and decorate cupcakes. We will come home, bake the cupcakes and let the kids use carefully CLOSED ziploc baggies full of icing (with a ting holy at one corner) to decorate cupcakes, one to eat and others to deliver to close friends.

After a trip around the neighborhood delivering cupcakes, we will settle down to a patriotic family movie (my favorite is "Johnny Tremain") or to much-needed naps. And so the day with end, happily but differently than I had thought when we woke up.

I encourage you, whether or not you had rain this weekend, to always have a supply of good ideas, necessary supplies, and a positive attitude (especially on holidays) to adapt and adjust and enjoy. I am sorry that we won't enjoy watermelon and roasted hot dogs today, but I doubt that anyone in my family will ever forget the "winter" Memorial Day we planned together in front of our fireplace and in our warm kitchen.

May 23, 2005 - The Day After Company

I have had company for a few days. Some of it has been here for a week, some just came last a few days ago. Most of it was here yesterday to celebrate a new season in my son's life. But this morning there is the aftermath. I have a sticky kitchen floor where children spilled punch and dropped brownies. I have found a child's vest, a baby's blanket, and an unclaimed neighbor's salad bowl. There are two dozen borrowed chairs to be returned to a nearby church and the remains of a buffet meal filling the refrigerator.

How do I get it all together and "finish" up this project? First, understand that when a woman desires to get and remain organize, she allows herself time and energy not only to prepare for a big event, time and energy to get through the event, but also time and energy to "finish" up afterwards. That means that today's regular chores and projects will have to be handled lightly, quickly, or delayed in order to "finish" up yesterday's festivities.

I will put the child's vest in the mail to my sister from out of town. I will deliver the baby's blanket to a neighbor when I take my evening walk with my husband tonight. I return the clean and washed bowl to my other neighbor as soon as I get the dishes done and washed this morning.

Most importantly, I will get the kitchen floor scrubbed so that stickiness and crumbs don't migrate through the rest of the house. It would probably be best to solicit the help my "overnight" company to clean the kitchen floor and return the chairs as they are hardy and will have interest to helping out, too.

I will, without apology, have a repeat buffet meal for lunch and try to work through yesterday's leftovers, filling in the meal where I can and then putting the rest away for another's week fare. Thank you notes will have to wait until my company is gone on Wednesday, but I will make a written list today so I don't forget any who were extra generous to me yesterday.

Can you see? Well, at least this is my plan. I am not sure how the day will go when people are up and going, but this is my plan. I will make a written list and go to work, "finishing" up this wonderful yesterday with as much time and energy as I took to plan it and share it with family and friends.

I hope you have a good week this week. Some of you will be celebrating the upcoming holiday this weekend with friends. Remember to allow energy for preparation, execution, AND clean-up. All three are necessary to keep pace with staying organized and in control. See you again next Monday (after most of my company has gone)...

Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

May 10, 2005 - Going Into Auto-Pilot

I am not sure why it happens, but when stress builds in a family, it seems to build in several places at once. Have you noticed? It seemed like every time we were about to have a new baby, my husband was also facing some change or promotion at his job. I would have a stressful week because of a major commitment and he would be down with a serious cold. I would be down with a case of the flu when he was going out of town for several days and couldn’t help me with the children. I think you can see the pattern.

What can you do now to be ready to slip into “auto-pilot” and survive the double or triple stresses which surround you? Several preparations have helped me.

1) Have several canned meals which can be heated and served by the most inadequate cook. I like canned ravioli, canned tamales, and canned chili. I only serve these meals when I am sick, have had a harried day away from home, or have collapsed with fatigue from a long day at home. The children think we are having a party. I get my respite.

2) Begin a written list of things that can wait and have a shelf in your closet where you can put “items to be attended to later”. (Don’t leave them out and about for they will just bother and nag you.) When I feel the tension build, I begin my list and my stash: “Yes, I can mend those pants later as I have an extra pair my son can wear now.” “Yes, I can return that broken vase later.” “Yes, I can take a meal into that new mother in a couple of weeks. She might even need it more then.”

3) I alert everyone who might be affected about our upcoming stresses. Then I plan around them as best as I can. In other words I alter, minimize, and delete. For instance, I tell husband that I will be “out of commission” on Tuesday (as I have a major speaking commitment that evening). I let my children know that if they need homework help it would be best if they asked before dinner on Wednesday (as I will be going with their dad to a major work function). I, in turn, keep Friday afternoon open to help my husband with his church commitment (by planning to do my afternoon chores either Friday morning or Saturday).

So, because this week is a major stress time for me, and my husband, and my son (I won’t go into all the details) and because you might also be having one of those weeks, I invite you to join me for a can of chili tonight. And tomorrow, and Friday.

For Saturday morning is the big day: I am going to begin hosting a radio show on AM820 from 10-noon. It is called “The Home and Shopping Show”. I will be there every Saturday sharing ideas about home organization, decorating, cooking, and shopping. Please come join me. If you live in Utah County, call me at 470-1820, Salt Lake County 570-1820, and Weber County 670-1820. Or you can write me any time with questions or problems. I will address them on the show!

So good luck with your stresses this week. Keep a good stock of easy meals, put aside what can wait for next week’s relative calm, and tell everyone why you are SO EXCITED! They will understand. They have been there before and can help you until you come down from the clouds and can pilot again yourself!

Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

It is going to be Mother's Day this weekend. And I am going to ask you to do a favor for me. Please! Teach someone this weekend, someone you love and care for, a simple homemaking skill. Let it be your gift to the world, a legacy of sorts, to the generations who will yet come.

I was helping a young girl clean out her bedroom drawer this last week. The drawer knob was loose and I showed this child how to press her finger on the inside screw and twist the knob on the outside of the drawer with her other hand until the knob was tight again. As I did so, I realized that this skill will stay with this girl for the rest of her life. Important? Probably not, in and of itself. But this child (I could tell from the fascination in her eyes) had rarely had the experience of FIXING something until it worked again. It is not so important that we fixed one thing. It was important that she gained the confidence to FIX! Yes, I could tell from her conversation and her going from drawer to drawer to make all the other knobs tight, that she would never be quite the same. She could fix something and make it work again!

There are many other skills to pass along: using a screwdriver to tighten a screw, folding clothes neatly, putting books on a shelf orderly, or wiping up a sticky spill from the floor. It doesn't matter what the skill is, just make sure that you aren't doing it yourself (to get it done fast and easily) instead of letting another learn. Those that surround you need the skills you have, they want them. They will not do them as well as you can, but let them try. Insist that they do, in fact, this weekend.

I remember once that I taught one of my sons how to fold his underwear. It was a rainy day and the others were playing a game, so he was alone with me and felt special because of my attention. I taught him how to lay the underwear out and fold it in half and then in half again. Even now he remembers that moment of understanding how to be independent in folding his clothes and more importantly how to bring order from chaos. It was a small moment with large consequences. His whole approach to life changed on that day! He could do it. And I had shown him how!

So, as a gift to your children, your spouse, or any loved ones that will surround you this weekend, leave a legacy, a gift of skill. Teach someone a small, simple skill and make their life different for all the years to come.

April 25, 2005 - Pre-Summer Stress

About this time of year, every year, since my first son went to kindergarten, I get Pre-Summer Stress. This is how my feelings go:

1) I stress out about all the projects I began since last September and haven't yet finished. If I don't get these projects under control and/or completed by the end of the school year, I won't get to them again until next September. It is not very good on my "mama" ego to have lingering "undones" hanging around all summer.

2) I stress out about all the "entertainment" needed to keep the children actively engaged in order to preserve some sort of order into our "family" life. Of course, I also want to keep up their mathematical skills, improve their reading skills, help them improve their housekeeping skills, and keep the house in a semblance of control. (Isn't is funny how we over-stress?)

3) I stress about how I can make this summer special, different and more perfect than all the rest. It just seems that every year I am run ragged by the questions, constant arguing, and the needs of so many different-aged children going in so many different directions. And then there is the early dawn, the late sunset, and the heat which also are part of these precious weeks.

So as a mother, a wife, and a woman, how do you grapple with the Pre-Summer Stress sufficiently to plan, prepare, and promote a successful summer? May I share several concepts which have helped me survive past summers and will, hopefully, make this one work a littler smoother, too?

1) Before summer even begins, walk through the routine of your "regular" summer days. Decide, decide, decide! Set parameters, rules, and other "fences" to keep control. For instance, decide when breakfast will be served each weekday morning (even for those who have been up half the night in the backyard pup tent). Also decide when you will regularly serve lunch. Work through breakfast and lunch menus. (This can be done with the help of your children, but write up some guidelines now about the possibilities from which they can choose.) Decide what housekeeping skills you will teach your children and how you will keep them on track each day until they have completed their assigned tasks. Decide if and when you will work with their musical instrument practice, mathematical skills, and reading challenges. In other words, look at your needs and decide upon some logical methods to keep control.

In some families, it has proven helpful to have neighborhood children scarce until after the morning chores are done, the piano has been practiced, addition flash cards have been finished, and some reading has been done. If there is a sign on the door, say the friendly "please visit us after noon" kind, you will find that others will respect your "summer" mornings more. Then, knowing that what needed doing is done, you can more freely let your children roam during the afternoon hours.

2) Depending on the number of children you have, assign each child a day of the week. This means, for instance, that Bradley has Mondays and Thursdays, Monica has Tuesdays and Fridays, and Scott has Wednesdays and weekends. On their day(s), this child gets to sit in the front seat of your vehicle, helps with lunch (fixing, serving, and clean-up), gets to choose the book you will read after lunch, and has the first turn in the bath tub. I think you can see just how much trouble this "assign a day" method saves.

3) Walk through possible summer afternoon activities to keep the mini-monsters occupied on those days when they are not at a friend's home and have already used up their TV time. I find it best to label each day of the week with a certain kind of activity. For example, Mondays-drawing, Tuesdays-visit a park, Wednesdays-library, Thursdays-movie, and Fridays-swimming. You may not do all these things in any one week, but when a Thursday gets long, by default you can plan to rent a movie (of course, at the beginning of the summer you assigned a rotation so you know automatically who gets to choose the movie "this time", thus saving pain, fighting, and pouting).

4) Finally, try to bring your "current" projects to a stopping place, not necessary done, but at a place where they can be put away until next Fall. Remember, this is supposed to be a sort of "vacation" time for you, too. When I come to my stopping place, I often make written instructions to myself about where to start next and where I am storing additional items which belong to this project. I put everything away and make a note on next September's calendar to consider this project again.

5) Summers are just so important! Your influence, patience and attention to your children's needs is the best gift you can give them. Take them some places, read to them lots, and just sit on the lawn with them under the rain of a sprinkler. You will enjoy your summer more and they will feel good, too. You are learning some, working some, and playing some.

I wish you good luck as you approach this summer. Don't try to do too much, but do try to over-plan, over-decide, and over-assign as you begin. Simplify, clarify and focus! Start out with some semblance of control and it will be a better summer. For sure!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook.

April 18, 2005 - Three Essentials Habits to Ease Your Pain

*Did you hear about the new laminated cleaning cards? Learn more...

I helped an ill friend last week with her housecleaning and I have come away with three ideas to "ease your pain" as a homemaker: three essentials which save so much time, trouble, and hassle. Do you have these habits established in your home?

1) Each and every person that lives in the home turns their clothes right side out before depositing them in the laundry basket. This includes: shirts, pants, underwear, and socks. When I began the laundry for my friend last week, I faced mounds of rolled up socks, inside-out underwear (somehow it is easier to turn it if is your own), and shirts which were just pulled off every which way (meaning arms were half way inside-out and sometimes the whole shirt). It was unfathomable to me. Just a moment by each person in the family would save many minutes at the washer. Can everyone help? Yes, everyone! (Even stubborn teenagers and a reluctant spouse.) And if they don't? Once you have established the rule and given ample time for training (one day's laundry should be sufficient) wash only those things which are turned right side out. It will be painful for a week or two, but soon everyone will get the point. THE LAUNDRESS has enough to do without turning dirty clothes the right way for laundry.

2) Each and every person that lives in the home cleans up after themselves when they use the bathroom (especially in the morning before leaving for work and school). This means putting away their toothbrush, toothpaste, shaver, brushes, combs, hair clips, and hair elastics when they are done. This small hassle will benefit everyone that comes into the bathroom later. When I was helping, I was astounded to find hair clips and hair elastics all over, toothbrushes on the counters, and toothpaste tubes not far away. Even small children can learn to put away what they get out, especially in the most commonly-used room in the house. Teenagers should not be allowed to leave their messes in public domain. Neither should adults. It is just common courtesy to kindly clean up after yourself in the bathroom. Establish the new habit by rewarding generously those to clean up after themselves for one day, then for two straight days, then for a week according to your personal situation. Gather leftovers from the morning mess each day with a promise to give them back for a "small" job done by the offender. The job can be more symbolic than difficult; it won't take long for the offender to understand the need to help. (One friend asked her offending teenager to sing a simple song to get back his items. After two days of this ritual, his items were never left again on the bathroom counters.) Again, look for fun ways to encourage change!

3) Each and every person that lives in the home empties their glass of its contents and scraps their plate into the wastebasket or disposal when they are done with a meal. Then, as circumstances allow, they might also put their dishes in the dishwasher or the sink. As I emptied half-full glasses of milk and cleaned up spaghetti, dried and mounded on a dozen plates, I wondered at the situation. If everyone had done just a little bit, the my job would have be minimized and my task much nicer to contemplate. Help your family members to see that their small part makes for a big change! (A day or two helping with the dishes, by those who leave with their own dishes "undone", will help mightily!)

Now, I know that real life isn't quite as easy as 1-2-3, but I also know that a little training now, in the little things, will "ease the pain" forever for your family. Implement these small changes, one at a time over the next week or two, and you will be astounded how much time, frustration, and emotional drain will be eliminated! Train, follow-up on those who don't respond to the challenge, reward generously those who cooperate, and soon your house will be running smoother than ever.

If you have comments or suggestions about other "small" habits which reward the homemaker's life and "ease her pain", please contact me: myhouseoforder@yahoo.com and I will address them another time.

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook.

April 11, 2005 - Your Way, My Way, or the Right Way?

One challenge in many homes is knowing when something has been done the right way. Often, especially when the home contains more than one person, there is "your" way, "my" way, and (somewhere in between) the "right" way. Conflict often occurs when one person reviews what has been done and determines it hasn't been done the "right" way (which is really his or her interpretation of "my" way). This may happen when the bathroom is used for a shower or bath, the dishes are done, or even when someone comes home from work and school.

Let's talk about one common conflict in apartments, condos, and homes: Coming home from school or work. Usually the person coming in the door has his or her hands full of items. It might be purchases from errands run on the way home, a coat worn because of the rain, today's mail, or a backpack and papers from school. Depending upon the individual, there might be items strewn from the front door clear to their bedroom door as the individual "unloads". Sometimes it is left this way for some time. Some people unload everything on the kitchen counter and walk away, others might make it toc the bedroom, unload everything on the bed, and then leave. Whatever is done by one individual will usually be contrast to another's more expedient way of coming "home". You see, the first person is "home" as soon as they have unloaded on the most convenient surface. Picking up and putting the items away is not part of coming home for them. For the second person, coming "home" begins with putting the items down to free their arms, but doesn't end until the mail is put in individual mail slots, the purchases are stored in their proper place in the cupboard, and the coat is hung up in the closet.

When these two individuals live together, there will always be someone unhappy. Either the second individual cleans up after the first, which causes conflict. Of, the second person doesn't clean up the after the first, which still causes conflict. So, if this is an issue in your home, decide what the standards will be, decide what the timing will be, and then set the consequences.

I will share an example. Tom and Julia have been married for two years. They both work full time. She comes home about an hour after he does. Whenever she walks in the door she can tell if he is home because the errand list is on the kitchen counter, the purchases are on the kitchen table, his coat is on the couch, and the mail is half read on the end table. Wow! What a challenge!

Carrie and Joel have a different problem. They have been married for just a couple of months. He comes in after her from school. She comes home from work and walks straight to their bed where she unloads. He is glad the front room is always presentable for company, but can't find his way through his bedroom because there is today's mess, yesterday's mess, and last week's mess here and there in piles around their bed as the each day's stacks are moved from the bed to the floor and stay there.

Can these challenges be solved? If so, how? Setting standards! Yes, sitting down, reviewing the item in question, and deciding as a couple, as roommates, or as a family what are the acceptable standards will be for that job. It is helpful to examine the most workable solutions considering the situation, letting each party fully express their opinion. As conclusions are reached, remember that setting standards includes 1) WHAT WILL BE DONE, 2) WHEN IT WILL BE DONE, and 3) WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF IT ISN'T DONE. The standards which will be used can be WRITTEN down and POSTED for convenient review whenever that " job" needs to be done again. You see, when WRITTEN standards are set, then there is less conflict because everyone knows the rules of the game. While this will be a give and take situation between adults, it can be a positive learning experience for children as they live with consequences they agreed to beforehand.

So, what is to be done? Talk, decide, set standards, set timing, set consequences, and WRITE IT ALL down. Just for fun, may I share what Tom and Julia decided:

Tom: I will usually be the first one home. I will hang up my coat in the closet. I will put the mail in the basket on the end table after I have read it for Julia's perusal and to keep the room neat. Then, before she gets home, I will also put away my purchases away so her first view of our apartment will one of order. If Julia comes home and there is a mess, she will simply say, "Tomahawk", my first reminder. Then, if I don't clean up right away, I will do the dishes for her that night.

Julia: I will be the second home on most nights. I will not complain about Tom's mess (if he has left one). I will just make sure I have clean up myself, softly say "Tomahawk" in his ear, fix dinner, and then get the night off from the dishes if he hasn't cleaned up.

I know you are thinking this is somewhat elementary. Most conflict resolution is. But if a couple, or roommates, or a family are to get things done the "right" way, they must set effective standards, clarifying WHAT IS TO BE DONE, WHEN IT IS TO BE DONE, and WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF IT ISN'T. To tell the rest of the story, about one week into this new "coming home" standard, Tom was very much ready to put his items away as soon as he returned home. He had already done the dishes three times too many!

So look at your family life, pick something which seems to cause constant conflict and have a meeting. Describe the problem, suggest solutions, let everyone give their input, set standards, timing, and consequences. WRITE everything down! Then watch the magic happen! You will be amazed at the changes which are possible as you implement "THE RIGHT WAY" standards into your own family life.

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook.

April 4, 2005 - The Shoelace Syndrome *Did you hear about the new cleaning cards? Learn more...

I broke my shoelace this past week. As usual, I pulled some of the good shoelace through a bit, tied a square knot, and decided it would have to do “for now”. Of course, in the back of my mind I knew the knot would annoy me with those ends poking up and out, the shoelace was now too short to tie comfortably, and it was likely to break again soon. But, well, it is how I face life sometimes: leave it for later.

But is this the best way? How many things in your life are un-repaired, half-repaired, or need replacing? Plastic weakens and tears, carpets fray, paint peels, and shoelaces eventually break. They always have, they always will. What can be done to get your life more in order and to have fewer items which need your "repair/replacement" consideration?

May I suggest a new way to live? A better way? (Of course, I will have to implement this in my own life more fully, too.)

1) Keep an ongoing written list of items which need your attention. Begin this list by walking around your home, poking around your garage, and taking a stroll through your yard. Note everything that needs repair or replacement. Then go back to your other priorities for today. As you notice other items which need replacing or repairing, whether you are on your way out the door, are in the middle of another project, or just too weary to think about it right away, take the time to add these items to your “REPAIR/REPLACE IT” list.

Then, choose a regular time (we usually do this as part of our Saturday afternoon routine), approach each of the repair jobs, decide what to do, make a “mini” list of steps to complete the job, and begin.

Sometimes this will mean a trip to the store. If you aren’t going out just at the moment, add the needed repair item to your regular errands list. Put any parts which you will need for comparison in your vehicle or note needed measurements. Buy the repair items this upcoming week and plan to finish the repair next Saturday.

2) When you replace anything, consider buying two instead of one. Need new shoelaces, get an extra pair. When you replace your watch battery, get an extra one. When you purchase night light bulbs, buy a few extras. Have a “spares” box for these items. One of the reasons we “live” with broken tools and trinkets is because the trouble of a trip to the store dissuades us from doing it right, right now.

3) Make up a clothing mending kit. In it have a pair of scissors, needles, sundry buttons, safety pins of assorted sizes, and various colored threads. Duplicate tools if necessary so that everything needed to make a small clothing mend is right in the kit. Remember, the more convenient you make it, the more likely it is you’ll repair it.

Have a regular “mending” container where members of your family can put items which need attention. This container could be near the phone, so that when a good friends calls, you can multi-task.

Of course, when children are young, you will do most of this mending yourself, but as soon as they begin to write well they can learn to mend. Teach them, slowly and carefully, and then let them begin to make their own mends. If it is a hole in their sock, an unraveling in their sweatshirt, or a seam that is opening, teach them to repair. Not only will you save a lot of money, they will learn invaluable skills. At first their mends won’t be pretty, but with practice and patience, your children can mend their own small holes and you will be left with time to face more major repairs.

4) In a sturdy container, keep various kinds of glue, a glue gun, and several small clamps and rubber bands. Include glues which will attach anything to anything, paper glues, wood glues, and plastic glues. Having the necessary glues around will make the “fix-it” person more likely to approach the repair.

5) Remember, it is usually easier and faster to repair it earlier than later. This was poignantly pointed out to me when I failed to patch a small, broken seam in my hall carpet. Week after week I noticed that small opening and ignored it. Then one day, one of my children pulled a toy over the opening. Something caught, and the small opening became a “you cannot ignore this” rip.

So, for a minute today, think about your life. Make a list of needed repairs, half-repaired items, or items which need replacing. Plan a day and time to tackle your list and feel the freedom of “it is fixed”! With this better approach to life, it will be much smoother sailing and far fewer broken shoelaces!

March 28, 2005 - Monday Morning Madness!

I have struggled for years with a malady I call "Monday Morning Madness". Maybe you do, too! You see, somehow if Monday morning goes really well, the rest of the week seems to go just as well. Of course, in your mind, you are going to get everything done (that is important and essential to be done this next week) ASAP. But have an unavoidable repair, an unexpected interruption, or just one or two things out of routine right at the beginning of the week and the day (and sometimes the whole week) seems to fall apart.

So, how do you conquer this challenge which besets you every Monday morning? I have learned four skills which relieve the stress, dampen the depression, and can keep you going and going:

1) Make a list! More than any other single stress reliever, I believe that making up a list of what's on your mind is essential to your success. This is usually done on Sunday evening. The list will be sometimes be long and frustratingly difficult. No matter, write everything down that is bugging you and needs attention.

2) Set priorities! Weight each item on your list according to importance. Use the A, B, C system. If it is essential, it gets an "A". If it is important, it gets a "B". If it would be nice to have done, it gets a "C".

3) Set some logical pacing! Now, with your revised, prioritized list in hand, review the scheduling needs this week will present to you. Decide which day and time you would best address each "A" item. When you are running errands on Thursday, could you add two "A" items to your list and make just one trip? Can you read that "A" article while you wait for piano lessons to be done this Wednesday? Can you have someone help with that "A" repair on Saturday morning (after you have had a good, hot breakfast together)?

Add "B" items to each day's schedule as appropriate, to be done ONLY IF TIME ALLOWS. Put the "C" items at the bottom of your daily schedule to be tackled only if PLENTY of extra time allows or someone kindly asks you how they can help. In other words, first focus on your regularly weekly responsibilities, then work on the "A's", then the "B's" and sometimes the "C's". Remember, always do the most important things first.

4) Leave time for the inevitable! Sometimes, just as you have everything set and ready to go, you will climb into your vehicle only to find you have a flat tire. Such challenges are distressing at best, but you have to know that every day (for the rest of your entire life) there will probably be some challenge, some repair, or some problem to be solved. Plan for it. Schedule it in. (Of course, keep a "B" and a "C" item or two ready to slip into that time slot should you have a really, really smooth day.)

3) Stop and rest before you run out of energy! You can work and work until you are past weariness. This is not wise! It makes you cranky, sometimes means a burnt dinner, and often means an unhappy family (funny how they seem to act just about as happy as you do). Listen to your body and stop before you run out of energy. Take just for a minute, regroup, and get a grip. If you don't, it takes much longer to renew yourself enough to finish out the day.

So, now that we have the methods down, let's try to have a better week. First list, then prioritize, then pace, plan for the inevitable, and finally, keep track of your own energy level. Remember, Monday mornings are going to come every week. Let's plan first and then go to work, keeping a smile on our face and that A,B,C list close at hand.

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

March 21, 2005 - Problem Pantries!

Kitchen pantries can be a wonderful boon to your homemaking experience or they can be a repetitive nightmare. You may be blessed with ample room, plenty of shelf space, and lots of shelves that are just the right height. Or, you may be maintaining a pantry in the end cupboard of your small apartment kitchen. No matter your circumstances, there are certain principles which will make your pantry work better each and every day.

1) In the near future (hopefully sometime this week), set aside an hour or so to organize your pantry. This should be a time with minimal interruptions, no answered phone calls, no TV, and no visitors (unless you have a good neighbor who is even better at organizing than you and is willing to help).

Clear and wipe off your kitchen counters and table, if necessary. Pull everything out of the pantry (yes, everything) and place in stacks on your kitchen counters and table. Group items of similar types together as much as possible: the cold cereal, the chips, the canned goods, the pastas, the bottles, and the soda cans.

2) Wipe down all the pantry shelving, top to bottom. Sweep and wipe up the floor. If you are going to all the trouble to have an "organized" pantry, might as well have a clean one, too.

3) Return the items to your pantry using the following principles:

    a) Only return items to the pantry which logically belong there. Often items are initially placed in the pantry because it is a very convenient, "I will put this here, FOR NOW!" Do not return any items to your pantry unless that is their proper home. For the time being, group them together for later storage elsewhere.

    b) Return the items using the A-B-C storage concept. Put items which are least used in the least accessible areas. This means the upper shelves, those you can only reach by using a stool or chair. It also means any inconvenient corners. These are "C" areas and should hold "C" items (i.e. those not needed very often).

    Put items which are used infrequently in the lesser accessible areas (i.e. places where you have to stretch, bend, or reach). These are "B" items and should be put in "B" areas.

    Put items which are used most frequently on shelves which you can reach without stretching up or bending down. These "A" items go in "A" areas.

4) However, even as you are returning items to the pantry, as much as possible understand two further principles.

a) Put like items behind like items. In other words, if you have a dozen cans of tomato soup, you put them one on top of each other and one behind the other on the shelf.

b) Put unlike items next to each other on the shelves. For instance, if you have a variety of soups, but several cans of each, you would group the same kind of soups one behind the other, but you would put different kinds of soups next to each other.

Finally, save certain areas of your pantry (mostly shelves which are easily reached by most family members) for the "in and out" items. These are foods which are retrieved every day: cold cereal, chips for school lunches, and afternoon snacks. In other words, have areas which are available for these foods whether or not they are currently in the pantry. This allows you to easily fill these areas up when you return from grocery shopping. You may even want to label the shelves: cold cereal, lunch foods, afternoon snacks.

I know that it sounds like a lot of wasted space, but the trouble with over-stuffed pantries is you have to remove half of the stuff to get at what you want. That just doesn’t work for the harried cook. She or he needs to get what they want conveniently. It is better to "under" store and make retrieving items more convenient than to "over" store and make it a constant mess to even get into the pantry.

Now, it is important to understand that a pantry is a high-maintenance creature. If you neglect it, it will come back to haunt you, every time you open the door. So, set up a maintenance schedule and stick to it. Many homemakers find that a quick "spiff up" before they go grocery shopping each week works well. You not only see what needs replenishing, you can bring order to the pantry again. This will allow it to give the best and most convenient use.

Some day they will built all kitchens with adequate and roomy pantries, but for now, no matter your pantry situation, give it a cleanout, reorder the items as you return them, and see what a wonderful difference it makes in your "kitchen" life!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

March 14, 2005 - Wasting Your Time Profitably!

I don't know about you, but I hate to wait. I don't like waiting at traffic lights, standing in checkout lines at the store, or waiting at the bank. Dentist and doctor's office waits can be annoying as can the last few minutes before your spouse walks in the door from work. How do you reduce "wasted" time and how do you more profitably use your time when you're powerless to do anything but wait and wait and wait?

First, look for ways to reduce "waiting" time. For instance, going early in the day to do errands usually reduces the amount of time you will have to wait in line. The bank, the post office, and the grocery store are all rather empty and you will breeze through your errand list with less time and trouble.

Second, try to do as much "shopping" by phone as possible. Call ahead to see if that video you want to rent is available and can be held at the front desk; call to see if the item you desire to buy is in stock at the hardware store. Buy your stamps by mail whenever possible. Arrange for pickup and delivery by any company that offers that service without charge.

Third, whenever you make an appointment, say at the doctor's or dentist, ask for the first appointment in the morning or the first in the afternoon. While this doesn't completely insure timeliness on the part of your dentist or doctor, it improves your chances. As a matter of fact, make life even easier by calling before you leave to make sure they are on schedule. It is nicer to wait where you are, finishing up here or there, than to be sitting a waiting room.

If you have done all you can to avoid waiting and still find yourself "on hold", how can you use that time profitably? May I suggest three different activities which can greatly increase profitability?

1) Carry reading materials of some sort with you at all times. My favorites, of course, are paperbacks about home organization or ones that share homemaking hints. I learn a great deal during those small waiting minutes because I am prepared to open, read, and learn. I have a red pen handy for noting items which I wish to implement into my own schedule. There is a paperback in each of my vehicles, and one in my purse. When I am going to be children, I carry "read aloud" books for them and use this time to share a story. Sometimes, I will have other children in the waiting room gather around to occupy their minds. The time goes so fast when a story is being told.

2) Have a small kit consisting of stationery, pen, and envelopes. So many thank you notes, birthday wishes, and congratulations can be completed for mailing during the minutes waiting for an appointment.

3) If you have intermittent waits in lines or in traffic, may I suggest that you begin a memorization program. Initially, pick four or five short sayings which you feel might benefit your life, some from the scriptures and others from wise leaders, and write them up on 3" x 5" cards. Begin putting them to memory during your "wasted" time. Tuck them behind the visor in your vehicle or in your wallet. These sayings can benefit our life immediately and can also be shared with others (particularly unruly children) when they need to be occupied. You can learn or you can teach, all during time which was previously wasted. There is nothing more compelling to a child or teenager than the challenge of learning something someone they admire already knows.

There are a dozen other ways to be prepared for using wasted time profitably. Do you knit? Crochet? Can you teach one of your children these skills during those repetitive orthodontist visits? Do you have a regular waiting time with some of your family while another is finishing up piano or dance lessons? Can you teach them or read to them? As you look at your life, prepare to never be without something to do yourself or to teach and share.

Have a good week. Look for your "wasted" time pockets. First, try to reduce or eliminate them. Then prepare to use them profitably. You will find your life will fill with more feelings of accomplishment and your frustrations will reduce considerably. See you next week!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook.

March 7, 2005 - From Daffodils to Duffel Bags! It is Never Too Early for a List

I don't really want to say it and maybe you don't want to hear it, but a Spring is almost here. I saw my first daffodil beaming low from the ground yesterday and I knew it was time to stop, evaluate, and plan. You see, it is the first week of March. If we don't take a moment right away and look at the next three months, things are going to get out quickly of hand.

So get out a 2005 calendar and get a feel from the shape, size, and pattern of the next three months. Four possible major events are in the wind: Spring Vacation, Easter, Memorial Day, and Summer.

Then take four pieces of lined paper and entitle them EASTER, SPRING VACATION, MEMORIAL DAY, and SUMMER. Fold each of them in half one way and then in half the other way. Title each section of the upper halves of the paper: Questions, Answers. Title each section of the lower halves of the paper: Things to do, Things to buy. Without much thought, "questions & answers" and "things to do & buy" will fill your mind.

For example: Will you be celebrating Easter this year? If so, how? Will you be traveling? Will you need to fill Easter baskets for some treasured children? Do you need to invite someone to spend that weekend with you? What will you do on Saturday? How will you spend Sunday? As questions come into your mind, WRITE THEM DOWN, making a list with generous space between each question down the left side of the EASTER page. Then try to ANSWER EACH OF THE QUESTIONS (as best as you can at this early date) down the right side of the page. Then at the bottom of the page, make up a preliminary TO DO and TO BUY list.

Just as you have prepared an Easter sheet, do the same for other upcoming events. Do you need to buy new duffel bags for summer camping? (Maybe you can add that to your errands list this week.) Where will you be going for your vacation? (Maybe it is time to discuss this with your spouse and/or your children.) On and on the items go.

With your "lists" in hand, you can note down questions, answers, and items needing attention at your convenience. If you have a planner, you may want to blank planner sheets. If you work better from your frig, put these papers on the front of them for the next few days to evaluate your desires and make plans. You will be surprised how quickly and easily you begin to use extra, idle moments to make notations. With these simple lists, you can begin to consolidate plans and focus your attentions for a successful Spring season.

The pattern is always the same. Start early to plan, make initial lists to get your mind rolling, and then put items of action into your regular routine. This year can be different, less stressful, and more fulfilling. Just start now and begin the magic of being early, relaxed, and on top of things.

P.S. You may want to do this "Stop, Evaluate, and Plan" about every quarter. You will do it again at the beginning of summer, at the beginning of the next school year, at the beginning of the holiday season. Then the whole year can be different for you!

February 28, 2005 - Help! I Have Housework "Personality" Problems...

Getting others in your "home" (which might be anything from a trailer to a large and comfortable house) to help with the housework can be difficult at times. In fact, sometimes it seems so impossible that you just as well do it yourself and be done with it, instead of struggling with the emotional trauma of others' resistance. My own experience has led me to identify four distinct personalities when it comes to getting the chores done (sometimes one person can have multiple personalities).

Can you identify with the following types? They include the sheriff (one who insists that everything be fair, completely and unalterably fair or they won't be cooperative), the slacker (he or she doesn't like to start, works slowly and without distinction, and often has a hard time finishing), the scrimper (who gets to the job all right but hides plenty of things under the bed or behind the door, wipes but doesn't clean, straightens but doesn't really do a good job), and the complainer (who has many ways to state his point but always is whining, giving excuses, and/or mumbling).

As homemakers, what can we do to reduce or eliminate the strength of these personalities in our homes? May I suggest four ways to get past the problems.

1) Designate the Job Title. This is the easiest task: Clean the bathroom! Wash the dishes! Take out the trash! Print the title of each job at the top of separate index cards in bold letters.

2) Detail the Job Duties. This is a bit more complicated because different people have different standards. For instance, in your family, your spouse may think that cleaning the bathroom includes putting down the toilet lid, straightening the towels, and shutting all the doors.

On the other hand you may include cleaning the mirrors, washing out the sink and wiping down the counters, scrubbing the tub/shower, shaking the rug, sweeping the floor, emptying the wastebasket, wiping down the floor, and returning the rug to its place...

On the same index card which is entitled CLEAN THE BATHROOM, list what you mutually agree (as a family) will be the standards for cleaning the bathroom. These jobs are usually listed in the order of their sequence. Remember, you start at the top and work down, begin the cleanest place in the room and on to the dirtiest. Be as detailed as possible so there will be no latent misunderstandings down the line. When the card is completed, make sure that all involved parties again agree to the standards which have been set.

3) Delegate the Jobs. This, of course, brings out the sheriff in your household personalities. But work through the parameters which best meet the circumstances of your home. Make sure that everyone is responsible for something every day, that everyone understands how long they will be doing their particular jobs, and then review one last time both the job titles and the details of the job duties.

4) Delight in Motivating. Spouses, children, roommates, and family usually don't enjoy doing housework unless there is a motivation to keep it fun, to offer a reward, or to have an activity afterwards which will compensate for the "pain" of these responsibilities. It is important to understand the importance of motivation and seek for ways which will work well in your home. You can use charts for youngsters (but they soon seem to lose interest), you can offer rewards (which seems to work well for children who love to play with friends, watch a video, or read a book), or you can promise a treat (we will go the park when the Saturday housework is done, have a barbecue for all those who do their jobs well for one week, get an ice cream cone for all those who have been cooperative and not complained for one whole day). Whatever works, seek for answers to make working a game, and a fun one at that.

By using this extensive and somewhat lengthy process at the beginning of your housework, you will keep the sheriff happy, you will help the slacker have definite reasons to get going, you will clarify issues for the scrimper, and you will keep the complainer at bay (he or she probably won't stop whining completely, but it will minimize the challenges significantly as others get rewards and praise).

Good luck this week. Buy a set of lined index cards the next time you are at the store, set your "family cleaning" standards, and promote a feeling of "work well done is expected in this home". If time is a constraining issue for you, there are pre-made "Housecleaning Plan" packet cards and "Teaching Children to Work" packet cards for your convenience in getting started.

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

Our lives can be so chaotic at times. We feel rushed as we go through our days and seem to have more pressures than we can easily handle. It is hurry here, and hurry there. And don't forget the diaper bag, this time, please!

One place of strength you can find, however, is what my kind husband calls the "Ricks' Law of Leaving". Long ago he discovered that "leaving" is an art which must be carefully orchestrated if a family is to avoid being rushed, tense, and VERY uptight by the time all the family members get into the vehicle and on their way.

Three items needs consideration: 1) The age and nature of the family members. 2) How much time it will take the family, once they reach their destination, to get from the vehicle to where they are expected (i.e., it takes some time to get the stroller out, the baby strapped in, and to walk the family into church). 3) The traffic which can be expected as you travel.

Let's look at the first of these challenges and figure out some principles of action which can calm the "hurry" syndrome right out of our lives.

If we are to be logical about it, babies take 20 minutes to get ready to leave (including dressing, diaper changing, and diaper bag preparation), children each take 5 minutes (if you don't have a habitual problem with shoe disappearance), teenagers take 10 minutes minimum (because this is one point of leverage which they tend to take advantage of if they are at a cantankerous stage), and parents take 15 minutes (because not only do they need to prepare themselves, there are usually other items which need stowing in the vehicle, wallets and money to collect, and etc).

That means that a family of four children needs to start getting ready to leave about 35 minutes before they want to walk out the door (fifteen minutes for the parents, plus 5 minutes each for the children = 15+5+5+5+5). Seems almost impossible to believe until you begin timing yourself. But is it true. It really does alot of time to get a family into the car!

A family with a baby and three young children will need 15+20+5+5+5 or 50 minutes. A family with more than four children will almost need to work diligently together to get in the car without an hour's preparation. While practice will help reduce this time, family members will have to help one another. This can be most easily accomplished if older children are assigned a specific younger child to get ready.

While a couple with only one baby can get things ready in about 35 minutes (15+20), they would do well to keep up their skills, because each new child that comes into the family can length the "Law of Leaving" considerably.

So what is your "Law of Leaving" quota? If you really walked through it, how much sooner should you be getting ready for church, or to visit Grandma, or to go to the show? We all have friends that are always early. We have others that are always late. If we were to investigate, the difference is in their application of the "Law of Leaving" .

Have a good week! First calculate about how many minutes late your family seems to be when traveling. Adjust your "beginning" time accordingly. Change within your family will probably not happen immediately, even if you could convince everyone you need to be getting ready to leave earlier. So initiate change by getting yourself ready first (nice and early); then get the vehicle packed with whatever is needed. From there, start with the oldest child and work down. The younger the child, the more likely they are to undress and take off their shoes before you get in the car.

It is helpful to have incentives for the child that can get ready the fastest, the teenage that is cooperative, the spouse to goes the extra mile. You know what I mean! No one does anything unless there is a good reason. Make it pleasurable to get in the car and you will soon have the whole family up and helping get you on your way. See you next week!

February 14, 2005 - The Wonder of Wastebaskets!

My mom called them garbage cans; my dad called them trash cans. My husband calls them wastebaskets, but whatever you call them, they are wonderful additions to ALL the rooms in your home.

There are several secrets to having better wastebaskets.

1) Have a wastebasket in every room in the house. It will make discarding more convenient. And when something is convenient, it tends to get done. I am helping a woman who struggles with order in her bedroom, the only room in her shared duplex which she can call her own. As we worked through the stacks and stacks of clothing, papers, and other articles lining her walls and floor, it occurred to me there was no wastebasket in her bedroom. She had trash tucked behind this bookshelf, stuffed under her bed, or stacked on the already full desk. The nearest wastebasket was in the nearby bathroom and it was much too small (you know the popular kind that are short and beautiful but can’t hold much more than a q-tip and a single piece of kleenex). I encouraged her to buy a reasonably tall, quite large plastic wastebasket. You may want to do the same for all the rooms in your domicile. Each and every room needs its own wastebasket, the bigger the better. (Of course, when you have young children, these wastebaskets will need to find homes up and away from their curious fingers. Otherwise, you will spend hours....well, you know how it can go when a child find a wastebasket.)

2) All household wastebaskets should be big enough to hold a week’s trash (except for the kitchen wastebaskets). They should be easy to maintain. If possible, make sure these wastebaskets are sturdy and neutral in color (avoid buying white because they look dirty almost immediately). As a good friend once commented to me, "Marie, you like to buy things that already look dirty so they don’t look dirty when they get that way." What she meant was that buying darker versus lighter keeps things from looking dirty nearly as quickly. Someday, I hope to find plastic wastebaskets with a light pattern which will all but cover most dirt.

3) The kitchen wastebaskets need to hold at least one day’s trash. An innovative homemaker, with a large family, actually has two kitchen wastebaskets, one for "dry" items (i.e. cereal boxes, capped and empty gallon milk jugs, the daily junk mail) and another for "wet" items (empty soup cans, orange peels, egg shells, etc.). She lines the "wet" wastebasket but doesn’t the "dry". She keeps these wastebaskets out and convenient in her kitchen. Her best worker is in charge of emptying these two wastebaskets daily because she tends to throw away more when the baskets are begging to be filled up again.

4) Make it easy to empty household trash into the exterior garbage can. Some families move the "street" garbage can to the inside of their garage during the cold winter months to keep it from freezing shut and getting snowed upon. Another homemaker offers extra incentives to her children for emptying the trash to the outside receptacle without being asked. She says it has become the most popular afternoon chore in the house since she began sharing gum drops with willing participants.

5) Have a semi-annual wastebasket cleanout on a sunny day. Take all the plastic wastebaskets to the back lawn or patio area, spray them down, soak them full of soapy water for 20 minutes or so, and scrub them with a brush. Tip the water out onto a safe place, let them sit in the sun for a few minutes, and then wipe them dry and return them to their "homes". There is nothing like looking at the bottom of a wastebasket and not grimacing with wonder at what is stuck down there.

So, have a wonderful wastebasket week! The secrets: Have a wastebasket in every room, make sure they are big enough to do their job well, make it easy to get the trash from wastebaskets to the exterior garbage can, and deep-clean your baskets occasionally to help them serve you better.

Good luck this week. You will find that these secrets are well worth the time and trouble to implement in your own home. See you next week!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

One of the more frequently-asked questions is, "What is the most important thing I can do to save time?" While there might be many answers, the one which seems to make the most difference for the most people at the fastest rate is: "Need one, buy two!"

This concept is simple. Whenever you are purchasing regular, routine items, never just buy one. If you need a box of Band-Aids, buy two. If you need some shampoo, buy two. If you are getting a bottle catsup, buy two. Why?

Shopping is a very "expensive" time consumer. You have to travel, park, walk through the store, make decisions (always an emotional drain, especially if the price seems a bit high), wait to be checked out (particularly when you are in a hurry), and then travel again. Sometimes you are also coping with children, working around a work schedule, and fitting this trip to the store around a dozen other priorities. Going shopping for "necessities" just isn't that fun for the busy homemaker. So, do yourself a favor and never go to the store again without thinking: "Need one, buy two!"

Of course, this is only the first level of saving time when you shop. A conscientious woman who is trying not just to save "some" time but to double and triple her time, will go one step further. She will need one, and buy three or four or even enough for the whole year. We will talk about this process next week, but our goal this week is simple: Don't go to the store for anything without coming home with two things!

Your life will be simplified, your time will expand, and as much as I know you love to be out shopping, save that time for the fun kind!

January 24, 2005 - Working Smarter, Not Harder .... Especially When it Comes to Running Errands!

I run errands alot. I am sure you do, too! For me, there are three problems: 1) I get somewhere and don't have what I need to finish an errand . 2) I get somewhere and wish I had a piece of information or an item to do a "nearby" errand. 3) I complete my errands and am heading home when I remember that I have forgotten an errand. So, what can be done? Let's stop and work through some possibilities that will solve these problems forever.

1) Always put whatever you need to complete your errands in your vehicle as soon as you think about the errand. Need to drop something off at the dry cleaners, put it in the back of your vehicle, NOW! Need to return an item, put it in the vehicle, NOW! Need to drop something off at a friend's house, put it in the vehicle, NOW! I have a small plastic container in the back of my van for my "returns". It keeps them confined and easy to retrieve.

Then add this errand to your "errands" list. I keep my list on a folded sheet of 8-1/2" x 11" paper which I have attached to a "half" clipboard, a newly-discovered tool I purchased at my supercenter store in the stationery section. It was $.99 and is one of the best recent investments I have made because it keeps my "errands" list safe as I shuffle papers around. Now it is "attached" to something sturdy and I can find it easily. Email me for more details, if you like.

2) I have learned to keep several 3" x 5" cards in the outside pocket of my wallet upon which I write needed items to buy as soon as I think about it. For instance, I have a card for the hardware store, the variety store, and the nearby strip mall (dry cleaners, post office, and shoe repair). When I think of something I need, I write it on the appropriate cards. Then when I am at the variety store and realize I am near a hardware store, I can pull out my "hardware store" card, see that I need to buy a can of putty for repairing some holes, and can stop there without much ado.

3) Never leave the house to do errands without a written list of the places to stop, the errands to be done at each stop, and the sequence. I usually make up my list at little bit here and little bit there as I think about it. If I don't write it down when it comes through my neurons, it won't get remembered later. That I know about myself. I space this list generously on my paper, leaving room between each item for details which I might add later. Then as I think of the details, I add them in this empty space. I also circle items which I will need to take with me. This acts as a second reminder in case I have forgotten to put the item in the car. Just as I am preparing to go, I number my errands: #1, #2, etc.

Finally, I have learned to get ready to run my errands several hours before I actually leave (which means sometimes doing it the night before because I leave early in the morning). I do this errands preparation "early" because I have found that the worst time to be thinking about anything is when you are getting ready to go. You are usually rushed, have several interruptions from family members which makes cognitive thinking impossible, and are running late which means you don't have time to stop and think and do it right. So, prepare for all errands "early".

Have a good last week of January. Try these new "errands" techniques and see if things don't go a bit better for you. If you have other ideas to share with me, please feel free to write. I can learn from you, too!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

January 17, 2005 - Have You Finished up 2004 yet? If Not, Its Time to Put that Old Year Away!

It's the third week in January. If you're like me, you have finally gotten your Christmas tree and decorations put away, you have settled into a semi-normal routine for the new year, and yet you feel unsettled about having completely finished up the old year in order to surge ahead into the commitments and challenges of the new year.

So, sometime this week, take a minute and make sure you are really done with 2004. How?

1) Take down and file or discard all 2004 calendars, both in your home and at your work place. Replace them with new 2005 calendars. This means the wall calendar, the planner calendars, and those small ones you keep here and there to conveniently check on the date.

2) Put an updated checkbook register in your wallet with the current year's calendar. Because its a reference point so often when you are out and about, its both embarrassing and frustrating to have old information. Many banks will gladly mail you a current checkbook register if yours has grown outdated.

3) Prepare a new 2005 Tax File folder and place it in your home office desk so you have a convenient place to put all this kind of paperwork throughout the new year. Do the same at your office (if you work outside the home) so you can have a temporary "home" for those personal documents which need saving but come into your hands when you're not at home.

4) Ask yourself where you might like to have another calendar or two in your life! When I did that mental exercise, I found I was really missing a small calendar right at my computer console to give me a feel for future dates. I also wanted to have one on my frig so when I was cooking and thinking I could refer to it easily. I also placed one near each phone in our home. I can't believe how many times I am in need of correct dates while I am conversing.

Good luck! The new year is well on its way. Make sure you have wrapped up the old one and are prepared for the new one. Remember: 266-315-374-264 are the dates for the first Sundays of every month in 2005. Memorize this small sequence of numbers and even without a calendar at hand you will easily be able to figure how what the date of any day of any month is with ease. Just begin at the first Sunday's date, add to the day of the week you are interest in, and add 7, 14, or 21 to get to the right week. For instance, if I wanted to know what the third Wednesday is in February, I would take "6" (the date of the first Sunday in February), add "3" to get to the first Wednesday = "9", and then add "7" to get to the third week = "16". Thus the third Wednesday in February is the "16th". It is a fun family mental game. Besides, everyone will soon be commenting on your capacity to be distinctly more organized!

I am very willing to share my own 2005 "Word" file calendars, full 8-1/2" x 11" sheet or a half sheet for your own printing. Just email me with your preference at marie@houseoforder.com! I am happy to share!

January 10, 2005 - Oops! Have You Seen My New Year's Resolution?

I always get a bit lost by the second week of January. The firm resolutions which I had settled on seem to be slipping away and I wake up the same old person as before with less and less desire to keep to the commitments which I so recently made.

How do you hold on to new habits which seem sure to change your life for the better? Three steps will help insure success...

1) Have several visual reminders to keep you on track. (I hate to say it, but we get very easily distracted in the midst of everyday responsibilities.) 2) Have a specific IF-THEN response to help remind you of your commitments. (Nothing like a game to keep you interested.) 3) Tell someone important to you (and that you trust not to make fun of your "bad" days) about your new goals and encourage their involvement in your change.

Let me share an example. One of my students desperately wanted to get her laundry under control. It was always the last thing she thought about doing and was often postponed until there was no clean underwear anywhere in the house, at which time, of course, she got angry at herself for slacking off and did a marathon laundry. At the end of last year we talked of ways to make 2005 the year of "Laundry Heaven". After learning about the three steps to success, she settled upon the following:

1) I will put my shoes on the washer when I go to bed. When I get dressed in the morning, I will have to go to the laundry room to complete that process, thus reminding me to get a batch of laundry going. I will also make up a note for my bathroom mirror which says, "Have you done the laundry yet?" which will be a back-up reminder.

2) I will not eat breakfast until the first batch is in the dryer. In other words, IF the wash has made it to the dryer, THEN I can eat breakfast.

3) I will report my laundry progress every day to my oldest daughter (who has suffered the most from wearing two-day old underwear and has the most interest in my change). This will work great, because my daughter will very encouraging at the slightest progress I make.

Now, it has only been eight days since Marilyn (name changed to insure privacy) began her new "Laundry Heaven" program, but when we talked yesterday, she was delighted at her progress. "I can do it, I really can!" she said. You can, too!

So, return to your New Year's Resolution list. Pick one item and resolve on three steps of success. Write up several small notes to put here and there as reminders. Decide upon an IF-THEN response. Get someone to encourage and prompt you on your way. Soon your laundry will be done, or you will exercise every day, or you will get dressed first thing in the morning, or any other small, but important New Year's resolution you have set will become a firm habit to enhance your life.

Good luck! Please write me an email with your own experiences. I would love to share them, anonymously of course unless you indicate otherwise, with others. Your successes and experiences can be their motivators, too!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

January 3, 2005 - For a Better 2005, Set Up A Family Calendar Now!

Do you want things to be more organized, less rushed, and with fewer glitches this next year? Whether there are just two of you, or you are working with a family of a larger size, prepare and use a family calendar to have better days all during 2005.

A well-used wall calendar is an organized family’s best friend. It is a tool which must be prepared diligently at the first of the year, updated each month, reviewed each week, then looked at each and every day to do its best job.

Twelve-month wall calendars are usually available at office supplies stores for a modest price. Purchase one now to get a head start on the new year.

Label the calendar right away with the known events for the next year. This might include business trips, birthdays, holidays, children’s school schedules, family reunions, and potential family vacation dates. Colorful marking pens can be used to emphasize important dates. Draw red hearts on Valentine's Day, balloons on birthdays, and stars on national holidays.

Any time you receive an invitation to an event (such as a wedding, shower, or birthday party), note the date, time, and details on the calendar. When the children's soccer schedule is brought home, take a minute and note times and dates as well. One family found that using stickers for regular, repetitive events was helpful in reminding them of their commitments. Blue stickers were put on Tuesdays for piano lessons, green stickers were used on Wednesday for football practice, and pink stickers were for Friday’s dance lessons. Even the youngest members of the family easily learned to associate the colored stickers with certain reoccurring activities.

At the beginning of each month, review the calendar and add additional notes to help your days go better. If Kevin's birthday is on the 15th, when will you take him birthday shopping? Note that date on the calendar. If you have a traditional family party on the 25th, when will you go to the specialty grocery store and purchase the supplies for that special dessert you always bring? Also note this date on the calendar.

At the beginning of each week, hold a family council with everyone in your family at which time you review the events for the upcoming week, learn about school assignments, projects, and tests (such as the term spelling test on Friday), coordinate rides to and from the varied activities, plan the preparation for festivities (such as cookies for the back-to-school night), and get babysitting commitments from your teenagers (so you and your spouse can have a date night out).

This wall calendar is for your whole family's use and should be kept near the kitchen table. At the beginning of the evening meal, quickly review what tomorrow will bring and remind family members of their commitments and responsibilities. For instance, "George, tomorrow I will be picking you up right after school to take you to piano lessons." "Mary, brownies need to be baked for that party tomorrow. I can help you get them ready after dinner". "Frank, when shall we fill up with gas for the weekend drive to the wedding up north?"

Over and over again, the family wall calendar can act as a prompter to help activities run smoothly and lessen the stress which often accompanies a busy family’s life. Purchase and fix it up at the beginning of the year, review and make detailed plans at the beginning of the month, have a family council and coordinate activities at the beginning of the week, and go over the calendar at dinner time. You will notice an immediate and lasting improvement in your family’s lifestyle!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

December 20, 2004 - Its Almost Christmas Time...And Your Company Has Arrived!

One of the hardest thing about festive times is there isn't much time or energy to keep up with "ordering" your home. This is especially true if you have company coming to stay for more than just a couple of days! It won't be long until you will have a big mess on your hand....unless you stay on top of things!

One of the best way to stay organized is to let your company help with keeping the house neat, the laundry completed, and the meals fixed. If your company is "comfortable" company, i.e. family members or really good friends, ask them if they would like to help do the dishes one meal each day, or maybe help you with small, specific chores at the beginning of each day, or maybe keep the laundry folded and ready to put away.

You will be surprised at the reaction you will get. Usually is it something like, "Sure..., just tell me what to do and when!" Most people who are guests in your home feel much more "comfortable" if they are contributing as well as enjoying your hospitality. Even the children and teenagers can be given small opportunities to help.

So ask freely for their help: "Would you mind sweeping the front porch this morning, Jake?" "Do you think you could clear the table of breakfast for me while I get the babies dressed, Martha and Marsha?" "What do you think about putting the laundry in while we fix dinner, Suzanne, and then folding it before we leave for the concert?"

As the hostess, you are most likely to have a neat and comely home while you have visitors if you orchestra your success. Three specific actions will save stress and hassle:

1) Post today's menu on the frig to keep questions in that direction to a minimum and to alert company as to ways where they might be helpful in preparing the meals.

2) Have a small jar on the kitchen table filled with written "mini" chores on small pieces of colorful paper. These chores can be done by "junior" volunteers (who can then have one of the "mini" candy bars also stored in the jar).

3) Let your company in on the regular weekly routine which keeps your household flowing smoothly. "Today I usually do my grocery shopping. Would you like to come with me?" "Tomorrow I have books to go to the library, videos to return, and my dry cleaning to pick up. What errands do you have on your mind?" "The next day I regularly wash the sheets and towels. Do you have anything to wash, too?"

I hope you enjoy your company as I am enjoying mine. Just remember to make them "comfortable" by letting them know your regular routine. Let them pitch in and help a "mini" bit. Let them be a part of your "family" for a while. That is what the holidays are all about anyway. Loving, sharing, and finding harmony... Merry Christmas my friends!

I hate to discourage you, but for the most part there will be little time during the next few weeks to keep working on any "non-seasonal" outstanding projects. There will simply not be time nor energy to focus, let alone have much of a chance of being alone as children get out of school, company begins to arrive, or your spouse has several days off work.

How do you deal with the unfinished list of things you were going to do before you concentrated on the holidays? The one that hasn't gotten much shorter in the last weeks? Retitle it! Yes, put it aside with a new title: Things to do once the holidays are over. Add items as you think of them, but don't worry too much about them. If it can possibly wait to be done, then let it wait.

It is more important now to focus on getting your holiday projects in control, your shopping done, and your presents wrapped. Most importantly, it is time to enjoy the holiday yourself. Remember, all your family is checking out your mood to determine their mood. I know it isn't quite fair, but that is how it is. Any family would rather a happy, calm, somewhat composed homemaker who is enjoying the holidays than a stressed-out, "un-nice" anybody in their home. It is time to slow down, do what you can in the remaining days, and let the rest go.

Remember how I was sick last week. Well, I am not going to get it all done this year. I lost seven precious days. So? Well, I am just going to skip this, and forget that, and smile and make the best of it. You can, too. Next year you can start earlier, plan better, not get sick, and things will be more "perfect", but this year, enjoy what few days you have left before the big day. Merry pre-Christmas!

December 6, 2004 - Are You Ready for the Next Cold or Bout of Flu?

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

One of the more challenging aspects of the holidays is the confusion which ensues. This is partially because we fail to finish up one holiday before we start the next. While I am sure that you have been purchasing and stashing away Christmas presents for some time, I am speaking more about the unfinished business of leftover turkey, Thanksgiving decorations, sheets which need to be washed from your company, and the mess which is still in the family room from young children eating treats while TV was being watched.

I encourage you to spend this "transition" week wisely (while we are still in November and just beginning December). Put away all the "Fall" decorations, clean up the house from your company, write your thank you notes (if you were the one who did the visiting), eat up or freeze the remaining leftovers, and in general, "finish" Thanksgiving.

As you do so, begin setting up for the next holiday. Find your holiday wrapping paper, bows, gift cards, scotch tape, scissors, and set up a "gift wrapping" center in a corner of one room. This will save you many hours of "setting up" and "taking down" as holiday gifts need your attention. Get out your Christmas cards (which I encourage you to buy at the after-Christmas sales and keep with your Thanksgiving decorations so they will readily available). Begin a written list of all the pressures which are sitting in your mind as you think about Christmas so those ideas will be safe until you can address them.

So, finish up and then begin again. We still have almost four good weeks to complete our responsibilities for this next holiday. Take it easy inside (so you don't stress out) even as you work hard, and have a happy week!

If you are expecting company this week, may I offer a bit of hard-learned advice? Get ready now to make their stay a pleasant and more "uneventful" one.

First, put up or away anything and everything that is of great value to you! I come from a large family and often we gather for extended family gatherings. As the host or hostess, there is no way you will be able to watch everyone in every place in your home. So prepare beforehand for the evitable possibility of something important or sentimental being broken. Walk through your whole house right away and simply put those items up or away!

Second, if you have computer, stereo or other electronic equipment, unplug these items so they cannot be manipulated by young, eager hands when you are not available to supervise. This will keep you just a little bit more in control when you need to be.

Third, walk through your house and remove everything below your waist which might be potentially dangerous to young children. Get the cleanser out from under the sink, the bleach up and off the floor of the laundry room, and your change off that low bedside table. Even put the toilet paper in the far corner of the bathroom counter to save a potential call to the plumber because some youngster thought the paper "looked pretty" being deposited in the toilet. It is easier to save yourself these potential disorders than to have to clean up after them and restore order to your home. There will be enough excitement without encouraging it.

Fourth, get out puzzles, games, and toys (both children, teenager, and adult level) which can be fussed with. Put a book of Christmas music on the piano so the "pianist" in the family will be occupied. Put bubble bath next to the tub so young children can linger at their baths. Buy some aerosol shaving cream and plastic table knives and have a shaving cream party (one of the funniest, least expensive traditions in our family). Have the children put on adult t-shirts to protect their clothes and take their place around an empty table. Give them each a plastic table knife and a "hill" of shaving cream. Let them put it on their faces and then shave it off. It will keep them occupied for a while, be a great time to take pictures, and offer a chance for some "Santa" beard-making practice.

Finally, just before your company comes this week, walk through your house and yard one more time to make sure that everything is ready for them. Good luck! I hope it is a good week with your family and friends. Happy Thanksgiving! mcr

You can feel it coming: If you are having company for Thanksgiving there might be more to do than you will have time to do, more to buy then you have money, and then the biggest stress, all the unknown things which seem to come up unexpectedly and thwart your plans. It all adds up to a pre-holiday headache just thinking about it.

May I suggest a simple, tried and true way to reduce all this stress? Get out your calendar, whether the family calendar or your personal planner calendar, and mentally walk through the next two weeks. Most of you have the big plans in place, know the big pictures, but now is the time to take a walk through the details. By taking such a mental walk, you will see many important preparations that you can make. Then make some decisions about those preparations. "What will I ...?" "When will I...?" "How will I ...?"

When will you prepare for Thanksgiving? What pressures does this holiday bring to you? How will you accommodate your company? Think through the planned events for these upcoming days, the possible pressures, the inevitable conflicts, and the still undone, but necessary preparations. Divide and conquer. Designate a time to deal with each of your personal responsibilities.

Write down your plans for each day and then go to work. "I will go grocery shopping on this afternoon. I will make up my pies and rolls on this morning. I will clean up the bathroom for our company the night before. I will ask Dad to sweep the front porch and walks free of dead leaves on Thursday morning. John can handle setting the table for me and Sue can babysit the little ones while I put the turkey in on Thanksgiving." "I will ask Aunt Mary to bring a simple game or two to entertain the younger, restless children while we are putting the food on the table." "I will ask Uncle Bill to bring his juggling equipment and entertain the teenagers." "I will have Grandma bring her holiday cartoon video to have the children watch later in the evening."

Once you have your plans in place, do a little each day to get ready, ask each member of your family to do a little bit, too, and this holiday season will be just a little bit easier on you and your company.

November 8, 2004 - Will You Be Traveling? Make It Easier This Time and Every Time

This weekly hint is dedicated to Julie Bringhurst, a new home organization friend from the United Kingdom. She writes: "The box arrived and how wonderful the contents. it is like reading a great novel!!! I am looking forward to putting the plans together. I will write from time to time to let you know how I am getting on with the plan of my house of order."

This holiday season is a time for traveling for almost every one of us. Our travels may just be for the day or they may span several days or even weeks. How do you travel right? May I suggest three helps which can make a great deal of difference.

First, begin today by entitling a sheet of paper, "OurTrip" which you keep close at hand as you go about your regular daily routine. Divide the paper into columns such as: "Dad", "Mom", "Teenagers", "Children", "Baby", "Overnight". As ideas of items which you need to pack come to you, add them to the list in the appropriate column. You will be surprised how many ideas will come and go through your head. If they are safely recorded, they will be there when the actual day of packing arrives.

Second, remember to travel lightly. Most families pack about two times more than they need. Instead, as you go down your list, think of items that will be useful in many situations. Instead of taking five different outfits, think of mixing and matching fewer pieces to meet your needs. In other words, pick and choose articles of clothing which will work in many situations and leave the rest home. You are not moving, you are just traveling!

Teach your children in the same way. Using your own master "Our Trip" list, make up a smaller one for each of them with specific details. Limit the number of items they can take. For instance their list for a three-day trip might indicate (in addition to the clothes they will be wearing): 1 pair of shoes, 2 shirts, 1 pair of pants, 2 sets of underwear, 2 pairs of socks, one jacket. If you don't have a suitcase for each of the children, specify two or more children to share one suitcase (usually children that can get along VERY well).

Another idea is to have each child put their items in a clear plastic bag labeled with their name. Store this bag in a larger suitcase along with other children's items until you reach your destination. Anything you can do to keep things orderly from the beginning will help keep them that way all through the trip. Some families even skip the suitcases all together and use copy paper boxes as suitcases because these boxes fit nicely stacked in the rear of their vehicle. Each box has the name of two children on it (on all four sides) so retrieval is easy and convenient.

Have family members gather their toiletries (along with their pajamas and one set of underwear) on the day of the trip, put them in a ziploc bag labeled with their name, and then put the ziploc bag in the "Overnight" suitcase. Having these items all in one place will save the sanity of many a homemaker.

Third, when you have come home from your trip, consider all that you have learned. What did you take that was absolutely useless? What did you need more of and had to buy along the way because you didn't pack it? Transfer this more complete and helpful "Our Trip" list to a permanent Master "Our Trip" List which you keep in a safe place. You will be able to use it over and over again.

Each and every time you begin to pack, pull out your Master "Our Trip" list and use it as a basis for the new trip's packing. You will have occasion to add a bit here or there to meet the needs of this particular adventure, but for the most part, you will be able to rely on the permanent Master "Our Trip" List to make sure and confident decisions.

Good luck, travel safely, and well.... I hope it is a good trip!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

November 1, 2004 - Preparing for Unexpected Guests, Meals, Gift Needs

There will be some surprises this holiday season. They usually fall into three categories. You will have some unexpected overnight guests which will need accommodating sometime during the next two months. You will have to prepare an unexpected meal somewhere along the way (which needs to be just a little nicer than your usual fare), and you will have some unexpected gift needs. You can be organized and prepared for such eventualities. You can do it now and then relax. May I suggest how?

Unexpected Guests - Have a drawer (or box) stored where you keep the supplies which you put out when company comes. This might include a set of sheets and pillowcases for the hide-a-bed, those towels which only company uses, and a fresh toothpaste tube and bar of soap. Also include some small paper cups and a pretty box of tissue. When company comes, welcome them heartily and while they are visiting with the rest of the family, you can quickly and easily prepare for their stay. Just go to your "company" drawer and all your supplies are waiting and ready. You won't have to run here and there finding an extra that and a spare of this. Your company will feel special and needed because of your thoughtfulness and you can enjoy their surprise visit more!

Unexpected Meals - It is also helpful to plan a "company" meal. It should be a menu which can be assembled from supplies you have on hand at all times, and it should also be easy to prepare. For myself, I usually serve canned ravioli, along with frozen, buttered green beans, garlic toast, and a thirty-minute homemade cookie cake (meaning it takes that long to prepare, bake and serve). It is important to know exactly what you will serve when company shows up unexpectedly for then you won't be in a panic, have to make a trip to the store, or feel pressured to default to eating out (which is fine occasionally but a little hard on the budget when you don't know it is coming).

Unexpected Gift Needs - The organized homemaker also has several small gifts

wrapped and prepared for unexpected holiday needs. These gifts are generic in nature, meaning they can serve their purpose in many circumstances. They are wrapped in neutral gift wrap so the addition of a bow and a small appropriate card serves your purposes well. For instance, you may choose to keep a set of small jams/jellies for giving to men, some bath oil for women, a card game for teenagers, or a bag of funny-shaped balloons for children. Whatever you choose, wrap the gifts and keep them handy for your unexpected needs.

When you are prepared for the unexpected, you will be ready for special guests, can serve a meal to company on thirty-minute's notice, and can produce a gift when it is needed. You will just have a better holiday season! Three ways, three preparations, and a whole different kind of holiday season!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

October 23, 2004 - You Can Feel the Holidays Just Around the Corner...

It has rained in my area over the weekend, bringing the smell of fallen and soaked leaves to me every time I open the front door. Yes, it is time to get ready for the holidays. There are so many things to do, so many decisions to make, so many places to go. May I suggest a way to make the holidays a whole lot simpler, not just this year but every year?

Many of you have discovered the value of making up lists. This is a vital principle regarding holidays. But, I would like to add an additional principle: Make up your lists PERMANENTLY and use them year after year, adding and subtracting details to meet your current needs, but having a core list that can be used over and over again. May I illustrate?

Find a 3" x 5" recipe card box. Label twelve 3" x 5" card dividers with the months of the year. Find or purchase 50 white or colored, lined 3" x 5" cards. Colored cards make these lists easy to see and retrieve. (You may have already set up a 3" x 5" card box to keep your housecleaning plan cards in place. With ease you can now add several more index cards, behind the appropriate monthly tabs, for holiday preparations.) There should be several holidays cards prepared for each holiday. Depending on the holidays which you celebrate, they will be entitled: Holiday Meal, Holiday Traditions, Holiday Decorations, Holiday Shopping, Holiday Preparations before Holiday, and Holiday Preparations day of Holiday.

For instance, we celebrate Thanksgiving at our home, so my permanent holidays cards would be entitled (as I prepare for this holiday):

Thanksgiving Meal
Thanksgiving Traditions
Thanksgiving Decorations
Thanksgiving Shopping
Thanksgiving Preparations (before Turkey Day)
Thanksgiving Preparations (on Turkey Day)

On each of these cards I list the items particular to that card. So, on the Thanksgiving Meal card I would list the menu items I usually prepare for the Thanksgiving meal. Then on the Thanksgiving Shopping card I list all the specialty items needed for Thanksgiving day that I don't regularly have in my pantry or cupboards.

On the Thanksgiving Traditions card I list the special events that we include on Thanksgiving such as watching football games on TV and giving to the food bank. This reminds me of those special furniture arrangements I need to make to accommodate company watching football and canned goods which I can be setting aside to contribute. On the Thanksgiving Decorations card I list where the Thanksgiving decorations are stored, where turkey platter is hidden, and where Thanksgiving table napkins are tucked (just one more thing I don't have to keep in my head).

On the Thanksgiving Preparations (before Turkey Day) card I list the chores I need to do to prepare for Thanksgiving Day (like get out the frozen turkey to thaw in the refrigerator, make and freeze my rolls beforehand, make up my pies so they can season in the refrigerator, and find my bottled bread and butter pickles). On the Thanksgiving Preparations (on Turkey Day) card I list the activities which will be important when I first get up, those that must be done after lunch, and finally those that I need to finish just before we serve the big evening meal.

Having these cards prepared, referring to them year after year (and adding occasionally to them as I make mistakes) and being able to prepare for a holiday with confidence and good pacing. It has just taken the hassle, frustration, and worry out of this season. Try it yourself and soon you will have your own collection of cards for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, and any and every other holiday for which you are personally responsible.

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

October 18, 2004 - Procrastinating! Why We Do It and What We Can Do About It

Putting off a project is a classical response most of us have, especially if the project is disagreeable, long, or difficult. How do we conquer our "elephants" in a timely manner? Think of one project you would like to get done this next week and which you have been procrastinating up to now and then apply the following principles!

For instance, I have a dress that needs shortening. It has been sitting in my sewing closet for two months now. Now, why is it still sitting there? I can think of several reasons. This project, like many others which we delay doing, has usually caused us several concerns which keep it undone.

It is too big to comprehend. So many of the projects which we put aside and leave for another day just feel too big for us to conquer. The secret here to is break it down, down, down until you have mini-steps both comprehendible and workable into your schedule. In the case of my dress, I must make a decision about length, learn to ignore my feelings of possible failure, find some time to cut the excess hem off, and find another time to hem it again. Rule #1: Make a list of mini-projects to get the big project done and start on the first mini-project today.

It will take a decision to complete. That makes it hard. I might make a mistake and ruin the dress forever. So, how do I make the decision-making process easier? Find another dress of a length which I like, pin up this dress to that length, and count the project done until next time. Rule #2: Make the hard decisions necessary to get the project going. It will mean the possibility of making a mistake and ruining the project completely.

Ask yourself: what will be the worst possible result if you goof it? In this case, I might cut the dress off too short and then have to discard it all together. If that happened, I would only be out the $20.00 I spent on the dress in the first place. Is all this delay worth $20? Rule #3: Work through your fears until you can count the cost of failure and walk past that problem. Then, get going....

It will mean employing a skill which may be both difficult and/or tedious: in this case, hand-hemming. So, when would be the best time to do this tedious process? I could put the dress, once I have decided on the length and pinned it up, next to the phone and hem it up next time Aunt Ruby calls because I enjoy our conversation and could multi-task. Rule #4: Find the next best time to do the next mini-project so it will not be so laborious.

So, the challenge this week is to begin eating one of those procrastination elephants in your life one spoonful at a time. Break it down, make decisions, work past your fears of failure, and set convenient times for working on the mini-projects necessary to complete the giant challenge. Get going now! It really isn't a very big elephant once you get out your spoon and start at it. You will be surprised and pleased!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

October 11, 2004 - Preparing for Halloween

How to you organize effectively for Halloween? First, although it is a bit early, sit down today and make a list of everyone in your family that will need a costume. Decide this next week, during a family council, what each family member wants to be for Halloween, how much time will be spent preparing the costumes, and how much the budget will allow for each costume. This will reign in difficult costumes or expensive ones to a more practical level. Try to encourage costumes that are both simple and can be saved for re-use year to year by other members of your family.

Begin immediately to work with each child, starting with the youngest, to prepare their costume. (If you begin with the oldest, who usually wants a more elaborate design, you will end up having to match that standard with each subsequent costume you purchase or make.) Keep the costumes as simple and classic as possible, always designing, purchasing or making them with the goal to store them for use again and again. As each costume is finished, work with another child of your family. You can never be too early getting the costumes done, the masks or makeup found and purchased, and the whole family ready for the big day.

If you haven't already done so, choose classical costumes for yourself and your spouse, ones that can be brought out year to year without much hassle. For instance, I have a good friend that is a witch for Halloween. She has purchased a pointed hat, green makeup, a false mole for her chin, and a flowing black robe along with a miniature broom stick to hang from a flashy belt. All these supplies fit nicely in a sturdy box for storage year to year. Her husband likes to be a wizard so he has his hat, a flowing false beard, and a star-studded robe which also nicely fits into the same box. No matter what other pressures the day might bring, a simple addition of makeup, props, and robe transforms them easily and simply into new Halloween creatures. They can join their children in the fun and have, indeed, learned to keep Halloween easy and fun.

It is also time to make similar decisions about: 1) what you will give out at the door to trick or treaters, 2) what you will serve for dinner on Halloween night, and 3) how you will handle the overflow of candy after your children have been around a block or two.

Several ideas come to mind. 1) Add "Halloween candy" to your grocery list for this week's purchases and get that job done. Choose a candy that suits your family for leftovers can be used again at Thanksgiving or even during the December/January holidays. If you don't want to give candy, try giving something like nickels, small packages of kleenex, a toothbrush, or other child's tool. 2) For an easy dinner, serve hot soup and bake a non-sweet treat that represents the fun of Halloween, say "bones" from shaped refrigerator bread dough. 3) The leftover candy might best be eaten at will Halloween night, but then all extras put into a collective pot to be brought out for treats on subsequent Friday nights. This keeps the dentist at bay and the candy all in one place during the next twelve months.

When Halloween is over, pack away the costumes as neatly as possible in storage containers. Purchased masks will last many years if kept in their own personal box inside the larger container during storage months. Label the Halloween container(s) and put them away for another year's fun next October.

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

October 4, 2004 - Changing Summer for Winter Clothing

Today my mind is on the transition of seasons and the clutter it brings to our homes. The weather is occasionally chilly and we are thinking about our winter clothes. Yet, there are still some summertime temperatures during the days. How to you deal with this confusion?

Usually, Old Man Weather fools us a bit. He sends a sharply bitter day which send us scurrying for our warmer clothes and then laughs at us with several days or weeks of warmer weather. So first, have some clothing, usually longer-sleeved shirts, light jackets, or sweaters which hang in your closet year round. These will get you through the chilly days whenever they may appear and can be easily worn over other clothing. Children should have a light jacket or sweater for school and play to keep them warm, too, during these transition days.

Second, understand that seasonal clothing, usually winter and summer (heavier and lighter), should be stored separately. This means that right now you have out lighter clothing and have your winter clothing stored. Depending on your particular location, you have a general idea when it is time to get the winter clothing out and put away the summer clothing. When this time arrives, find and retrieve your winter clothing containers.

Third, when the weather has turned definitely colder (usually when the first winter storms come to your area), open the containers with your winter clothes, lay them on your bed, and sort through them. You may be surprised to find a few items which you can discard or give away right now. Do so! Then gather up your summer clothes and pack them neatly in the empty containers. Hang up the winter clothes in your closet. Don't store the containers just yet for inevitably there will be a stray item or two which will turn up in the next week or so. Besides, you may need to retrieve an item from the containers for a particularly warm day.

Fourth, pull out the winter clothes containers for your children, sort through them, and hang the clothes up. Gather their summer clothes and return them to the empty containers, setting aside items which don't any longer fit, wouldn't be suitable to use again, or which should be given away. Remember, whenever you do this "transition" project, always sort and simplify wherever possible.

Finally, make a written note on your calendar or in your planner for about two weeks from now. The weather will be settled down a bit, you will have found most of the summer clothes which need storing, and you will be ready to put the summer clothes containers away for another six months or so.

Good luck. Remember, keep the number of clothes which are out and about to a minimum. You will save alot of clutter and keep your home more orderly!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

September 27, 2004 - Finishing The Dishes

Making decisions as a family about "finishing" can take a lot of stress out of life. This week I encourage you to focus on finishing the dishes. If your family sits down together for a meal, set these standards for your family:

"If a family member eats here, they are responsible to help by doing the following:

First: Excuse themselves from the table, take their individual dishes, and put them in the sink/dishwasher.

Second: Take one or more other items from the table to put away, i.e. salt/pepper, napkin holder, condiments, jam/jelly, etc.

Third: Push in their chair."

If everyone just has these three responsibilities, the family members in charge of "finishing" the dishes will have a much easier time getting their job done.

Finishing the dishes really begins when the cook enters the kitchen. Fill the sink with hot, soapy water. This will provide an easy place to rinse preparation tools, bowls, and utensils while he/she is cooking. It will also provide a place for pans/baking dishes to soak during the meal.

Final finishing is done after the meal. All members of the family should participate at least once a week in meal clean-up. The process will become faster and much easier. Usually one mature family member stays in the kitchen with his/her helpers until the work is done. Family dishwashing "finishing" standards can be decided upon, written up, and posted in the kitchen: the table is to be cleared and wiped, the chairs are to be neatly returned their places, the dishes are to be started in the dishwasher (or washed, rinsed, dried and put away by hand), the counters are to be wiped, the sink is to be scrubbed, and the taps shined.

Choose high standards and insist that everyone follows through. Sometimes you may have to hire a "family sheriff" to conduct inspections and give a sign-off. Whatever your method, ask for all family members help, let everyone have an opportunity to participate, and make sure that standards are kept.

Good luck! Somehow, if we can get dishwashing done right, the each and every day's work will be a bit lighter and easier.

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...

September 20, 2004 - Simple, Important Bathroom Tasks for Children to Learn

When we teach our family members simple household tasks, we make everyone's life easier. I encourage you to teach your family members three things this week: 1) how to brush their teeth, then put their toothbrush and the toothpaste away appropriately; 2) how to flush the toilet after use and put town the toilet lid; and, 3) how to hang up a bath towel neatly.

Have each family member practice these skills one time by getting the toothpaste out and brushing their teeth (even if it isn't right after a meal), flushing the toilet and putting down the lid, and taking their bath towel and hanging it up.

As the week progresses, have small treats for all family members that can demonstrate these skills each day: tooth brushing (one treat for each meal), hanging up their bath towel (after their baths) and flushing and putting down the toilet lid (one treat per each use - within reason).

After this practicing, you will notice an increased willingness on each family member's part to do their part to keep the bathroom clean. You may even find that you have a "sheriff" or two who will help others do their part, too.

When family members are successful in these three simple tasks, a homemaker's responsibility are lessened to a great degree. Each new skill that is taught and becomes part of a family's routine is one less job for the homemaker.

Try it, you will be amazed!

Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. Return to "Weekly Hints"...