Weekly Hint Archives - 2004 - 2005

122605 - Its Sandwich Week!

    I don't know about you, but it was a long weekend.  There was lots to do, lots of people, lots of clutter, and also lots of merriment.  Now we have the "Sandwich Week"!  I call it that because its the week between one holiday and another.  There are still leftovers from last week to see to while at the same time you are gearing up for another holiday this next weekend.

    Here is a three-prong "Sandwich" plan to survive and thrive:

Mustard:  What MUST I do this week to keep things together?  Because of the chaos which ensued because of last weekend (you know what I mean:  Christmas presents to be put away, leftovers to be used up, trash to depose of, the tidbits and the disorder), this week would best be a time to bring some semblance of order to the home, starting always with the front door, working through the living room and towards the kitchen, the bathrooms, and the bedrooms (in that order).  Get as many of the MUSTs done as you can.  Neat your home as much as you MUST, prepare for the upcoming weekend, and keeping on adding to that list of Things to do once the holidays are over.

Meat:  How can I best MEET (well, it is almost a completely matching word) the needs of those around me?  If there is more than can possibly be done, ask those important to you what is the most important item they need attention with during the next few days?  Then ask, "What can I say NO to?  What can I DELAY?  What can I just let go so this will ALSO be a week of diversion and rest for me, too?"  Remember, this is supposed to be the holidays!  (Oh well, I know that you will be lucky to get one moment's reprieve here and there, but they are worth their value, so take them.)

Mayonnaise:  What MAY I desire to do if I have a moment’s peace.  The biggest challenge for most homemakers during this "Sandwich Week" is the lack of time alone to do anything.  After all, there is usually a spouse around, children home from school, and/or company to entertain.  But if you do get a moment’s peace because everyone else is off somewhere, what will be the best use of your time?  Decide now so you can act as soon as the van disappears around the corner.

    Have a good “SANDWICH” week.  If you are still this messed up and confused and disorganized by the end of January, you can get upset and be discouraged.  But don’t feel that way this week.  You are only half way done.  One more major holiday to get through and you will be sailing into the New Year.  So MUSTard, MEET (meat)  and MAYonnaise your way through the week and your will be more happy, more calm, and more delightful to be around.... Happy Sandwiching!!!

     Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. 

121905 - Laundry 1, 2, and 3’s

I do a lot of personal home organization coaching.  Many women, when they first contact me, say they don’t want to focus on their laundry problems when I come.  They want to make big strides in their organizational efforts.  And so we clean closets, sort through clothes, and decide upon methods to change their lives.

But over and over again, I notice their laundry piles and am struck that the “more” organized woman has figured out how to handle this consistent irritant in her life:  the never-ending, always-present, never-will-go-away laundry. 

May I help you along the way to better laundry function using what I have learned myself and from what I see in others’ lives? 

1)        Never buy anything white (except boy’s and men’s white Sunday shirts, of course).  This is because it will never be white again, ever.  There will be mustard or catsup or dirt or chocolate to disfigure that beautiful white item.  Yes, I know that you can bleach a lot of things.  But that is two steps back and only one step forward.  Why complicate your life?  Just keep to darker neutrals, patterns, and heavier fabrics until your family is grown to save yourself a lot of laundry time.

2)        Don’t plan on doing marathon laundry.  I know there are miracle workers down the street who do laundry on Mondays and are done for the week, but most of us are moodier than that and if Monday comes and we don’t feel like it, it is two week’s of laundry the next Monday before we know it.  Instead, plan to do laundry every day.  Yes, Mondays 2x batches of weekend clothes, Tuesdays 1x batch of bath towels, Wednesday 2x batches of weekday clothes, Thursday however-many batches of sheets, Fridays 2x batches of weekday clothes. 

3)        Always have the washer going while you are doing something else.  Buy a timer to remember to get back to it.  My favorite ones are at the dollar store and clip right to your collar.  Wash in, timer set, and off I go to do whatever.  Timer dings, wash to dryer, timer set, and off I go again.  Time dings, laundry to counter, 4-5 minutes of misery while I hang it up and fold it neatly into my containers and off I go again to do whatever.  This way it is part of my daily dance, not an interruption to it.

4)        Reduce, eliminate and otherwise rid yourself of everything but the most basic clothing.  5x tops and 5x bottoms for children under 12, 10x tops and 5x bottoms for teens until they are grown.  10x tops and 5x bottom for yourself and your husband.  Add a sweater, light jacket, and heavier coat (along with mittens, hat, scarf for wintertime fun) and you have enough out and about for your family.  If you have more, put it up and away.

 5)        So because it is the holiday season and your children will be climbing the walls, let them help you with that a marathon laundry project to get caught up.  Then sort through their clothes and get it down to 5x/5x or 10x/5x plus sweater, jacket, and coat.  Put everything else up and away until Spring comes.

 6)        Do laundry every day during the holidays and let them help.  Suzie folds and put the kitchen towels away on Tuesday, Mike and John change their sheets and bring them to the laundry on Thursday.  Everyone put their clothes away after they have been washed and folded on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

    Just think, by the time school starts again, you will have the most basic household routine down pat, AND with the help of your children and spouse.  Who could want more for Christmas than that?  

 Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. 

121205 - When You're Short on RAM

    I'm a forgetter.  Yes, I forget to put new checks in the checkbook.  I put bread in the oven and walk away and forget that it’s there.  I have even boiled eggs until the water is all gone, the bottom of the pan is burnt, and the eggs are all but vaporized.  So to keep myself safe, to function as best as I can, and to continue in life without embarrassment, I have learned several things. 

    First, it is not shameful to be short on RAM.  You are just wired differently than the person down the street who doesn't ever had to make a written note about anything and remembers everything nicely. 

    Second, maybe you have a lot of RAM but it is busy handling some stress in your life, dealing with a difficult problem at work, or maybe just figuring out how to get the laundry done this weekend. 

    Third, whatever the reason that you "forget", adjust to it as best as you can by finding easy ways to remember.  My three solutions for the above problems are: 

    1)  I put a small post-it note about ten checks before the end of my checkbook.  I usually notice the post-it note at the store and put it forward one check.  Of course, sometimes I do this three or four or five times before I happened to be writing a check at home and can retrieve new checks.  But it keeps me from loading up my cart, have the clerk completely check me out and then realize that I don't have a single check with which to make payment. 

    2)  Whenever I put anything in the oven, I turn the oven light on so I can see into the oven through the door.  This is my personal reminder (as I am in and out of the kitchen constantly) that there is something in there that might burn if I am otherwise occupied and neglect to answer the ding of the kitchen timer. 

    3)  I don't put anything on the stove to cook unless I carry a small timer I found at the dollar store with me so its friendly ding can keep newly boiled eggs edible.  Otherwise, I can get going with my brain somewhere else and out of the room I go with another project on my mind. 

    While these are only small adjustments, I have learned to understand my limitations and my frailties.  I can work around and above and beyond them.  If you have something that regularly gets "forgotten", beat your own RAM, and figure out a new habit to overcome the loss. 

    Now, just this last week I left a fan on in a remote room of our house and completely forgot about turning it off.  It ran merrily for a good twelve hours before I came back into that room again.  Because I run that fan every morning to spread the heat from our basement fireplace, I now put a bright pink handkerchief on the stairs where I will be sure to see it as my reminder:  "Turn off the fan!" 

    I hope you have a good week.  Remember to keep up with yourself by using little tricks to help your RAM along.  Maybe some day we will all be like the “smart” person down the street, but for now we will have to "trick" ourselves into not forgetting.

     Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. 

First Week of December - Are You Ready for the Next Cold or Bout of Flu?

    I haven't thought much about being organized for sickness until this past weekend when I got a bad cold.  Now I am thinking about it plenty.  There is nothing worse than waking up with a sore throat and not having any lozenges to suck, or getting aches in your joints with no pain medication in the cupboard, or needing some nourishment but having nothing that even sounds remotely decent to put in your mouth, let alone in your stomach.  

    How about three simple ideas for your next shopping trip?  Buy up some "illness" toiletries, several over-the-counter medications to make your next illness easier, and some special food for that tender tummy.

    "Sickness" Supplies - Purchase a good supply of kleenex, toilet paper, and gallon ziploc bags.  They will serve you well as you give the ill person a personal box of tissues for his bedside.  This will save spreading germs.  You can also have a roll of personal toilet paper in the bathroom to confine the illness as much as possible.  You can prepare a gallon ziploc bag, draped over a edges of a small bowl, for the family member in distress.  Just upchuck, ziploc, and dispose.  It is so much easier for everyone then the mad dash to the toilet which sometimes works and sometimes does not!  Even small children will find "instant" relief when the food is coming up.  They just sit up, reach for the "upchuck" bowl, and let it go.  You may also think of other toiletry supplies specific to your needs.  Buy enough of each to get through the next few cold, winter months.

    "Sickness" Medication -  Depending upon your own experience, you might want to purchase some lozenges, some cough syrup, a bottle of ear ache relief drops, several decongestant/anti-histamine medications, and some kind of pain relief.  Get an ample supply to suit the tastes of your family.  Then when the ear ache starts in the middle of the night (which seems to be the case with young children), you may be able to hold off getting to the doctor until morning.  When the aches and pains set in, you will have medication to relieve the misery.   When your children trouble you with their coughs, you can gently encourage a bit of medicine to send them back to sleep.  When your head gets stuffy, you can go to the cupboard to feel better instead of taking all that energy making a trip to the store. 

    "Sickness" Food - Some things just taste better when you are sick.  These include cold lemon-lime soda (specifically 7-up), soft-set Jello (particularly raspberry and sometimes orange flavors), and instant butterscotch pudding (and occasionally vanilla).  Some chicken noodle soup would also be nice, along with some soda crackers and applesauce for when you feel like having a little bit to eat again after a couple of days of emptying your stomach.  What does your family like to have when they are down and out?  Stock up on these supplies and set them aside for those inevitable sick days ahead.

    Good luck!  I hope that you don't get sick this season, but if you or a member of your family does, the "family nurse" will be ready with some "sick" supplies to ease the runny nose, make the upchucks a bit easier, and have some yummy treats to settle down the stomach.

    Find more helpful ideas in "House of Order" Handbook. 

112805 - Four Simple Ways to Make Christmas an Ordered and Memorial One!

          I want this Christmas to be different.  I want to look past the gift giving, the decorating, and entertaining, and make it purposeful and meaningful for my family.

          As I have thought about it, it occurred to me that the best memories I have are of “doing”, not receiving, not entertaining, not decorating.  So, it is my suggestion this next month (because I hope you are planning out December right now in an attempt to get it all done in the next four weeks) that you plan four hours of “family time” where you will DO! 

          1)  Plan one hour where you will cook something together as a family.  I am thinking of teaching my sons to make up homemade tootsie rolls, with a new, simple recipe I found.  We will wrap them and share them at work, at school, and with friends. 

          2)  Plan one hour where you will make a craft, simple though it may be, to delight an elderly person, a bedridden person, or even the single man down the street.  I am planning to make up simple garlands from old Christmas cards, ribbon and small bells.  It is not so important what we are going to do, but that I involve my family in doing something with our hands.  It is one good way for them to have a “Christmas to remember”.

           3)  Plan one hour where your family will visit someone alone.  You might find yourself in the hospital, just down the street at the widow’s home, or may walking down the midtown streets giving our your tootsie rolls to the homeless who need your attention, your eyes to look directly into theirs, and some extra love. 

          4)  Plan one hour to do anonymous service.  I think we will go to a local park and pick up trash.  It will be our “gift to the world”.

          If you will focus on these four “memories” hours, in the midst of shopping, entertaining, driving to and fro, and preparing for the other parts of Christmas, I think you’ll find that you will, indeed, have a special Christmas to remember.  The family will talk of the powdered sugar that got on Mom’s nose while they made tootsie rolls, the fun Christmas card they put right in the middle of the garland, the man with no legs who sang in gratitude for their attentions, and they will never drive past the park again without smiling inside because it is now a part of them. 

          May the beginning of this holiday season, and all that it brings be special to your heart!  Have a good week!

        Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

112105 - Stop, Look, and Listen 

          It is going to be Thanksgiving this week.  Yeah!  My favorite holiday is here.  No presents to worry about buying, wrapping, and giving.  No precedents to keep with parties, Christmas cards, and decorations.  Nothing but good, plain loving, sharing, and delicious food.  So this week, as my hint, I suggest that you stop, look, and listen.  

        1)  Stop and smell the aroma of your spouse, your children, your home, and your backyard.  

        2)  Look into everyone’s eyes and discover the color of each.  Then say, “I really do love you!”

        3)  Listen (with your eyes closed is better) to the sounds of your life.  The faraway train whistle, the music of children’s laughter, the drumming of the  baby’s toy on the floor, the sound of your spouse shaving.

        Lastly, take time this week to do something small, simple and thoughtful for each one of these important people in your life:  One simple act of kindness.  The gratitude will spread up and outward, soon filling your day with great purpose and direction.  It is true, ordering your priorities this week by stopping, looking and listening (and doing) will help get your gratitude genes in high gear.

Then, after you have done your kindnesses, ask each of your family to do one small favor for you.  You see, we fill the most needed when we have been asked to help.  So let them help.  

        “Please get down the turkey platter for me, honey.”

        “Please sweep the front porch really nicely, son.”

        “Please shine the bathroom taps, sweetie.”

        Please, please, please.  Don’t make the jobs hard, long, or difficult.  But let them help.  That feeling of being needed, of being wanted, and of having already had a kindness done to them will touch something inside.  They will actually (eventually) want to do help:  you, their siblings, and some day a total stranger.  It is by small and simple things….  Happy Thanksgiving!

         Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

111405 - My Mother Got Upset About It, But She Never Did Anything... 

        I heard this words from a good friend the other day.  You see, some misbehavior that she exhibited as a teenager is repeating itself in her daughter and now she is stuck.  She has no precedence with which to cope, nor to correct.  

        So as my weekly hint, because I know its so important and so lasting in its consequence, is to encourage you to change one place in your life where you are now only getting “upset” but not doing anything about it past that.

         Order is more than putting washcloths neatly folded in the drawer, it is more than having the family room cleaned, and it is much, much more than having dinner on the table on time.  It is also about resolving, solving, and managing stewardships.

          For myself, I know I have some things to change.  I know I have things which I must not only get upset about, but must also do “something” about.  So my gift to the world this week, and my suggestion to you this week, is to resolve upon a problem which needs addressing, solve the problem in your own mind, and then to do something about it. 

          Fix it, get rid of it, say “no”, say “not now”, and say “yes, I know I am a mean mom, (or a mean wife or aunt or grandma), but enough is enough, this will not continue”.

          Doing so, being strong in the stewardships in your life, standing for the right, and remaining stalwart in your stand, always, always will bring more order to your life.

          I know I am speaking personally.  I am speaking about everything and anything in your life that you are just letting go “for now”.  You cannot change everything right away, but change something.  It is a good beginning for this week and will make all the weeks ahead easier.  You will not be popular, but you will have done something past just getting upset about it.  In the end, it will matter!

          Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

110705 - Acquisition and Accumulation Addiction 

          I think that most of us are sick.  We love to acquire and we love to accumulate.  It somehow makes us feel worthwhile in a strange sort of way and seems to justify our existence. 

          So I am going to encourage you to reverse this trend in a small way.  Think about ways you can reduce the acquisition and accumulation addiction which is ever present as we prepare for the upcoming holidays. 

    1)  Warn everyone that you are going to go simple this year:  One gift per person in your immediate family (past what Santa may bring), a group gift for those at work, a very small gift for those friends and neighbors who come to the door to exchange holidays greetings, and a special, meaningful gift to that someone special in your life (not money, but time and a coupon of service).

    2) Begin a list of items which might be appropriate and preferably in the line of tools versus trinkets.  Think preparation, emergencies, and maybe even storage.  Buy slippers for cold mornings when the heater might not work for your family, small LED flashlights for employees at work to see when the electricity goes out, and a box of wooden matches in a sealed clear plastic jar for neighbors and nearby friends for local emergencies.  Give your spouse or best friend a coupon for 10 free “put away your wash” or “fix your favorite dinner” or “wash the truck”.

    3)  Look for ways to stay away from the store, stay away from spending money, and stay away from acquisition and accumulation.  The more you set the precedence, the example, the sooner others will join you.  Life is not about owning, it is about loving.  It is not about keeping, it is about giving.  Life is about everything and anything but acquiring and accumulation.  Give, give, give… this season will be better, your will be happier and everything will be simpler.

    Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

103105 - Changing Your Attitude with Gratitude 

          It has been almost two weeks now since I got this cold and it simply won’t go away.  I am getting “down”, as you might say, watching the piles of paperwork grow, the dust accumulate, and the bathroom dust balls dance whenever I enter.  I have a couple more days before this bug is going to leave, I think.  What do I do to survive?  How will I approach life once my energy comes back?  Where will I begin to organize? 

          As I lay on the couch yesterday resting it occurred to me to quit looking at what wasn’t going right, what wasn’t done, and what I was worrying about and spend just a minute and look at the other side.

          1)  I have a roof over my head.  Some people don’t right now.

          2)  I have food and clothing.  Many people don’t.

          3)  I am getting better.  One of my friends isn’t and probably won’t ever be well again as she struggles with bone cancer.

          What am I “down” for?  I have everything I need.  So I will make up a list of what is bothering me, what needs to be done, what I want to do when I get more energy, the cough goes away, and my nose stops running.  Then I will number that list 1-1,000, prioritizing things to suit my situation.

          I will tackle this list slowing, gratefully, and simply.  I won’t have as fancy a holiday season this year.  I will take longer to get the house back in shape.  I will just keep it simple and in the meantime be grateful that there is a house to clean, food to cook, and that I am getting better each day.

          Good luck this week.  I hope you are well.  If you are, be glad.  If you aren’t, I hope you will be.  I am grateful for life, for having you as my friends, and for being able to share our strivings and struggles together. 

           Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

102405 - Three Piles (no more, no less)

    I have had a bad cold.  It has kept me down for a week now and I am feeling totally overwhelmed, unorganized, and out of control.  I had enough energy to face the planner this morning and tackle my paperwork.  I knew I wouldn’t have much energy for very long and so this was my plan of attack:  Three Piles (no more, no less). 

          1)  Pile #1.  Things which will need doing as soon as I have energy to do anything (past keeping meals on the table, the laundry done, and the house sort of cleaned up and neat.)

          2)  Pile #2.  Things which will need doing when I get back on my feet and have enough energy to THINK and WORK for more than ten minutes at a time (and still keep meals on the table, the laundry done, and the house sort of cleaned up and neat.)

          3)  Pile #3.  Things which will need doing when I get to them.  Some things just have to wait, a long wait maybe, but wait for sure. 

         Be liberal in telling people that you can’t do it now, can’t do it later, and maybe won’t get to it until next January.  It is better to surprise people by being early after such a warning then to have the personal pressure of keeping up pretenses.

          Maybe we can start a revolution.  Get sick without worry, be able to stay down while we are sick, and then when we are up and energetic again, tackle life with order and stamina and confidence.

          Good luck this week.  I hope you don’t get this bug.  It was a big, black, ugly one!

          Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

101705 - Start Your Morning the Night Before

          I cannot overemphasize the importance of doing essential routine items when there isn’t a lot of stress.  This applies especially to morning routines.  Morning time is not the time to make decisions, prepare for the day, or finalize plans.  All that should happen the night before.  The morning is for getting ready, eating, and getting out the door.  So how can we have better mornings?

          1)  Make decisions the night before.  Decide what you are going to wear tonight.  Decide when you need to leave tomorrow to be on there on time and work backwards to when you should set the alarm clock.  Decide what you will serve for breakfast (and get the English muffins out of the freezer so you won’t have to thaw them in the microwave before you can even begin to think about toasting them).  Decide in what order you will tackle your morning chores so that if something doesn’t get done and has to wait until later, you will have done the most essential jobs first.

            2)  Prepare the night before.  I know families that set the breakfast table right after they do the dinner dishes.  It is just as much work as setting in the morning, but it is half the hassle because there’s not so much “stress”.  I know families that make up their sack lunches in the evening, too, to facilitate a more leisurely morning routine.  I know others that pack up the car for the car pool when the homework is done for the evening so that tomorrow morning the children only have to get themselves in the car. 

          3)  Finalize plans the night before.  Does everyone in the whole family know that is happening tomorrow?  When will Dad be home?  When and where will Mom be picking them up for piano lessons at the school?   What special tasks need to be done before they can play with their friends or watch a video?  Children and adults don’t like surprises, mistakes, or waiting.  Try to alleviate it as much as possible by discussing tomorrow’s plans tonight at the dinner table.  Make sure that everyone knows exactly what to expect, when to expect it, and how to react if things don’t quite go quite as planned.

          Have a good week.  If things aren’t going smoothly for you, try a simple change to “forward” routines and see how much it helps.  Making decisions the night before, preparing the night before, and finalizing plans the night before will make a tremendous different in the chaos, stress, and tension of your mornings. 

        Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

101005 - Delayed Response Disorder 

          I suffer from DRD.  Yes, I know that there are many different significant and challenging disorders out there which are serious and require medical attention, counseling, and much training to deal with and overcome.

          But my disorder just comes with being alive.  You see, when I focus, I am GONE.  When someone, actually anyone, comes up to me and asks me a question or makes a comment or even submits a demand, it takes me a second to come back to the here and now, switch mental gears, and be able to answer.

          This particular challenge is more apparent in mothers with more than one small child, mothers with several elementary school children who are home for the afternoon, and especially mothers with teenagers.  It is even a challenge for a woman with a husband who works out of the home.  If you are around, you are supposed to be HERE, ready and willing, to respond gently, kindly and without hesitation.

          So what do we do when we suffer from Delayed Response Disorder?  May I suggest three different ways that have helped me have a calmer, more peaceful home life?

          1)  Train your children to let you have a time alone time for 20-minute increments each.  This training can begin as soon as your children are old enough to want their own “time alone” from the baby (so they can play without interruption).  Begin by separating from your family for 5 minutes, then work to 10 minutes.  Soon you will be able to have 15 minutes alone and finally 20 minutes.  Sometimes you will be in the same room so as to be a comfort to your children, but they can learn to respect your need to be GONE.  Set a timer and set some rules:  no questions, no interruptions, no comments until the timer dings.

You see, all of us need some alone time.  We need some silence.  We need some space to think through our priorities, our relationships, and maybe just to let our minds rest or to read.

            2)  Take regular walks.  When the children are pre-schoolers, let them come long in the stroller or on their bikes after your morning chores are done.  Take a good long walk each day to the park or around the block or even just down to the stop sign and back.  It is one of the best ways to get away from the phone, from the TV, from the radio, and from interruptions.  Literally be gone, so you can be GONE mentally and emotionally, too.

            3)  If all of the above just doesn’t work for you, ask an older child or one of your teenagers to be responsible for the children while you go to your bedroom or the office and spend just a moment (meaning 20 minutes) alone working on a project.  Shut the door, ignore the phone, and focus. 

It is good for them to respect you.  In turn, you can let them have their own time alones when you will not interrupt them for doing chores, setting the table, or putting away their laundry.  Just have them tell you they are disappearing from the world for a minute, in other words, being GONE.  When you give them that space, they will also be more willing to give you that space.

            Having Delayed Response Disorder is not wrong or bad, it just a part of life.  Gain some time each day to be GONE and you will it easier to here, available and ready to answer questions, settle disputes, and make comments the rest of the time.  Good luck this week!

    Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

100305 - Buy It to Try It 

    Sometimes you can get a great deal when you buy in bulk, find a discounted price, or are just observant and clever.  However, before you buy in bulk, it is wise to try a small amount of the product.  For this reason, I suggest that you carry in your vehicle a small cache of plastic spoons, a hand can opener, and a few napkins.  And maybe some other supplies, depending on what your shopping needs are. 

    Often when I see something interesting, if the children are not yet climbing out of the cart and there is enough leisure to take this extra time, I will purchase ONE, return to my vehicle, open it, and try it.

If it is a tool, I will give it a test somewhere safe.  I try out a pair of pliers on the nearby garbage can contents, or a screwdriver on the nearest screw I can fine.  A mini-flashlight gets its tryout in the rest room, a glue stick on some notepapers from my planner.

    If it is baggies, or aluminum foil, toilet paper, or some other toiletry, I buy ONE, then tear it, stretch it, crumple it, and etc. in my vehicle to test its strength, its thickness, and its durability.

With lotion and shampoo, dishwashing detergent, and other “liquid” products, I generally stick to name brands I can trust because usually off-brands are runny, lifeless or otherwise not what I need as far as consistency and “sameness” container to container.  But if you find something interesting, buy one, take it back to the car, add some water from your water bottle to the shampoo and see what kinds of suds you get, or use some lotion on your face and see how it feels. 

    I often do this same thing with lipstick.  It if is interesting, it goes on my lips once I have bought ONE tube.  Then back I go for more.

    With food, I buy one jar, one can, or one container and have a “mini” feast, trying it alone or sharing it with family who are along with me.  If it is a winner, back I go for the whole case, the whole stack, or the whole shelf.

    So buy in bulk as you can.  It saves time, frustration, and decision-making.  But be a wise bulk shopper.  If is new, untried, or off-brand, buy ONE to try it and then go back and wipe out their supply (as much as you dare).

    Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

092605 - Settling into a School Schedule 

          I know that many of you have recently begun what I call the “school schedule”.  You have sent your children off to school now for about three/four weeks and are beginning to settle into a routine that is working pretty well.

          What I am going to encourage you to do is to streamline that routine just a little bit to make the rest of the school year go much nicer, easier, and have less bumps. 

          So I ask you three questions: 

          1)  Do you have a specific place where each child puts items that need to be taken to school the next day?  This is often called the “Launch Pad” and is a confined place where the child can put their backpack, their school lunch money, their apple for the science class, and anything else they need to remember to take to school.  I like to have labeled, plastic buckets, one per child, in our home for the “launch pad”.  No one thinks well when in the rush to get off to school.  Gathering the night before and putting everything in the “launch pad” makes good sense.

          2)  Do you have a specific routine for getting the children ready for school each day?  Most children should be encouraged to decide what they will wear to school the night before.  The clothes should be laid out, complete with socks and shoes.  Then tomorrow’s dressing will be quick, decision-less, and easy.  Try it, it makes all the difference!

          3)  Do you have a weekly menu for breakfast that the children can rely on?  I know that many of you have cold cereal on school mornings, but even then have you set up a routine for getting the table set, each child’s dishes cleared after eating, and their teeth brushed (and the toothbrush put away and the toothpaste lid put back on)? 

     Slowly down for the next week and working with each child individually until they have learned these simple habits will make for long-term benefits.  Try it, you will definitely like it!

     Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

091905 - Why I wrote Organization for the Almost Organized 

          I am finding that life is a continual, very constant learning experience and that organization skills, organization ideas, and organization responses are ever coming and going in my life.

          When I began my web page last year just about this time, I hoped to influence others for good, give them ways to find answers at their own pace, and also to share the many new things which I learn every week.  This is one of the reasons that I continue to have a weekly web page hint.

          When I finished a year’s worth of web page hints (over 100 pages), it seemed prudent and desirable to put these articles into written form so they could be easily shared with friends and relatives.  I also enjoy a book over reading on the internet anytime, myself, because I can underline, make margin notes, and add my own articles from other magazines in just the right place to make a wonderful, useful reference manual.  

          So I made up a book in a looseleaf binder, just as my other materials are, so it will be flexible, wonderfully useable, and also lighten your load.  I have found that when I can add and delete from my “tools” they more nearly meet my needs.  Maybe this method will help you, too.

          So think about how things are going in your own life and remember, I am here to help you.  Ask questions, make suggestions, or add your comments.  If we all work together, then every week will be a better week for all of us.  Thanks for coming and we’ll see you next week.

           Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

091205 - Why I Believe in Cartooning 

          So many people have asked why a home organization specialist would put a cartooning book on her site, that I thought it best to address the question publicly.

          Its really very simple:  mothers, aunts, and grandmothers don’t get much of anything done unless their children, nieces and nephews, and grandchildren are occupied.  Teaching a child to be self-occupying is one of life’s greatest gifts, both to the child and to yourself.  He or she learns to be independent and explore different worlds while you are free to do the same or at least keep up with the laundry.

          I am not an advocate of a lot of television, less video games, and even less time on the internet for children.  Letting someone else do the speaking, thinking, and acting does little to stimulate their minds, stretch their imaginations, or teach them self-worth and self-discipline.  

          But what of simple drawing?  The child who explores the world of art is at the beginning of a lifetime adventure.  Yes, I know I had one of my children become a professional artist and so he was inclined, you might say, in that direction from the beginning.  But what of my other three sons?  Did they not benefit of this instruction at an early age?  Of course; not only did they occupy themselves nicely for long periods of times but they were creative in so many other areas of their life.  Even now they are expressing their creativity in different and appealing ways as they mature:  pre-medicine with an interest in mechanics, computer science with an interest in journalism, and “still deciding” with an interest in everything.

          I believe that teaching my children to draw, then letting them go to, was an important “simple” thing that has turned into gigantic benefits all around.  So what better way to help you help yourself than to offer a book which will let you teach your children to draw or even let them teach themselves how to draw.

          The Cartooning Fun book is complete with simple drawings.  Fancy drawings confuse and discourage children of all ages.  It is easy in instruction and direction, letting the children roam with their imaginations with the inhibition of seeing how someone else did it.  So I encourage you, whether you buy my Cartooning Fun book or find others elsewhere, to take a little time to teach your children to drawing simple cartoons and watch them occupy themselves and strive to grow in their skills even as you have more time to keep up your home, get those dishes done, and maybe even take a turn with the pencil yourself!

          Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

090505 - Organizing Toys 

          Organizing toys, just like most other overwhelming home manager projects, can best be simplified and comprehended by identifying the different types of toys in your home.  For myself, I categorize toys into three major kinds: 

          1)  Furniture-type toys.  These are large, not easily confined anywhere, and tend to look messy whenever they are out because children don’t leave anything neat, squared in a room, or upright.  These toys also include bikes, plastic “play houses”, rocking horses, and anything else, indoors or outdoors, that is large and bulky.  They are best stored by having a “home” where they are put as the house or yard is cleaned up.  I have found that lines made of duct tape or painted on the floor of the garage help children “park” their bikes easily, and specific areas in their bedrooms where the other large toys belong, helps a child to know when he is done cleaning up.

          2)  Medium-sized toys.  These toys scatter through the day but are easily confined to copy paper boxes, large plastic containers, or shelving.  However, for the most part, children tend to have too many of these toys out, which means that there always seems to be a mess. 

For that reason, I suggest that you send most of these toys “on vacation”.  Make up seven containers.  Label each with the names of exotic places.  I like Philadelphia, Cincinnati, Memphis, San Francisco, Baltimore, Chicago, and Atlanta.  Divide the toys into these seven boxes.  The children are allowed to get out and play with one box of toys at a time.  When they are done with “Chicago’s” toys and have cleaned them up, they are given any other box of toys they desire.  Remember, always have children clean up their own mess.  The smaller the messes to clean up, the more readily they will obey. 

          3)  Tiny toys.  These are the bits and pieces of a larger “toy” and include legos, doll clothes and accessories, Lincoln logs, puzzles and any other “toy” that is made up of small pieces of various sizes and shapes.  These are best confined to ziploc bags if there are few pieces, which are labeled for ease of storage and relocating. 

            When the pieces become too massive for ziploc storage, I suggest that they be located on the center of a sheet.  When the children are done playing with the toys, pick up each corner of the sheet, pull up, and deposit into a large produce box (found at local grocery stores) or clear plastic container.  The drawing up of the corners of the sheet automatically cleans up the toys as long as the children have kept the pieces confined to the area of the sheet.  Again, the children clean up one mess before they are allowed to get out any other toys.

            Because I use standardized boxes, wall bookshelves, and clear plastic containers for my toys, I can line them up along the children’s bedroom wall.  When they want something out, they ask, I retrieve, and they play.  When they clean up, I inspect, I put away the box or container, and they choose another.  I am very involved in their “play” when they are young, but as they grow more mature, they simply come ask permission to clean up, put away, and get out another toy.  The house never is very messy because it is never allowed to get that way.

            I hope these ideas help.  There are many good library books to peruse or home improvement store books to purchase which will give you innovative ideas to decoratively store these treasures.  Good luck this week!  Remember:  Divide, confine, and conquer!

            Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

082905- Borrowing Money to Stay Ahead 

    I received the following email which I have been given permission to share:

    I can't tell you enough how much motivation you gave me to get my house and life organized.  I've never known where to begin, but you've done a
great job of making that clear.  You were very inspiring and I'm amazed at how
organized you are!  I never knew people like you actually existed!

    I do have a question about our budget.  My husband and I live on his paycheck month to month, and we're always a month behind.  He gets paid on the 15th.  But mortgage is due a couple of days before, and car payment and utilities before that, so he actually borrows from his best friend to cover us for the week and pays him back the day he gets paid.  I know this is a no to borrow first of all, but I don't know how we can get ahead when we are already behind.  We don't have debt on credit cards...just car and house but feel we're always one step behind.  Any advice?  Thanks!  Anonymous Anne 

Dear Anonymous:  I hope that you are willing and ready for an interesting ride.  You are one month behind, right?  This equals a certain amount of money, right?  I would like to suggest that you:  

    1)  Make up the graph paper chart (graph paper pads are available at office supply stores) just like you would if you had consumer debt (yeah, for not being in debt that way - keep it up).  You see, you are in debt to yourself.  Keep up the same pattern of borrowing and paying back just as you have done in the past.  At the same time begin to save up money to get ahead.  Let's say that you can knock off $20/week off your food budget, $10/month off your clothing budget, and $5/month off your spending money.  

    2)  Set up a new savings account.  Put any extra money you can save into it.  Let's say that you decide to not eat out one time a month and save $30.00.  Let's say that here and there you decide to save instead of spend.  Put that in the new savings account.  In other words, slowly but diligently build up the amount of money that you will need to be on time. 

    3)  Tell your “lender” friend about your plan.  Let him know of your progress, for he will appreciate your diligence, and soon you will be free to pay your own debts on time.

    4)  When you have the total amount needed saved, begin paying off your bills from your own accounts.  I know that it will take some time, and that it will be hard because you have been doing it otherwise, but know it will be well worth a “small” sacrifice now for the bigger benefit of being completely independent later on.

    I would really like you and anyone else in your situation to try this plan.  I believe that because of your restraint and diligence in not getting into consumer debt, you can tackle this challenge.  Good luck and let me know how it goes!   Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

082205 - When You Miss Something Important

           It was Education Week at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah last week and I had the privilege of speaking some nine times at different home organization sessions.  However, because of those preparations and my involvement in getting my printed materials ready, in addition to preparing for the weekly radio show, I totally spaced writing my weekly column for my web page until it way too late to do it “right”.  Have you had the “totally-spaced” experience before, too?

          If so, I have a few suggestions for myself and anyone else who needs to make an apology for being later or forgetting.  Make your apology, being as honest as you can about what really happened, and then make preparations so that it will never happen again.

          I remember that after I had missed an important birthday two years in a row because it was on the 3rd of the month and by the time I remembered to turn the page on my calendar (this was before I discovered planners), it was too late to send a birthday card or make a timely phone call.  So, on the third year, I decided to make preparations to avoid another disaster.  I put the note regarding this birthday, and every other birthday within the first week of the month, on the first day of the last week of the previous month.          

I will do the same thing with next year’s Education Week’s web page article.  I will make a note to write it in the middle of the July (when I am less stressed), so all I have to do is add it at the right time.

          In many ways, there are so many other times and places where we can look ahead and thus avoid disasters, embarrassing moments, and otherwise untimely incidents.  For myself, I am going to look ahead into September and see where I might be “more timely”, doing things that have deadlines way before they are due.  Who knows, I might be sick, forget, or “space it” when the stress builds.  No matter what, if I look ahead, plan and prepare, I am more likely to be calm, collected and “with it”!

          So look at your upcoming month and ask what you can do to avoid potential disasters.  It is surely a habit I am going to incorporate into my schedule.  Happy “disaster avoidance”!

    Have a good week.   Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

August 8, 2005 - Getting the Homework Done

          One of the many concerns of mothers (and sometimes grandmothers and aunts) is getting homework done in a timely manner.  Just as you are wrapping up summer and getting supplies purchased for school, this deep worry tends to settle into your mind.  How will they do this year?  Is there anything more I can do to help them?  Yes!

           1)  Set up a place, quiet and secluded (but within your ever watchful supervision) where your children can do their homework. 

            I know that some have a quiet hour after school when the kitchen table is the “homework” table, but the rules include no talking, no face-making, and no silly noises.  In other words, there is a serious attempt to keep them focused on their work.

          When the homework is ready to be checked, this mother quietly talks to the child in the same room, but a far corner, about what has been done right and wrong.  After making corrections, the child is free to leave the “homework” table and pursue other, more attractive activities.

          I know other mothers who have found that a personal desk in the child’s bedroom is very helpful for homework.  With a small overhead book shelf, personal office supplies, and a good light, homework time also becomes a time to be alone, to think, to wonder, and to dream (which sometimes isn’t exactly the idea).  But if the child is left in his room until the homework is done and can’t do anything until then, they soon get to the task.

          2)  Have a regular time for homework.  I know some mothers who let their children play with friends for an hour after school lets out and then the family gathers back home for homework.  This tends to get out the wiggles, refresh their minds, and make them more likely to get it done expediently.

          Other mothers find that it is better to feed their children a snack, pull out the books, and get the homework done before any friends are allowed into the house or the children are allowed to go out and play. 

            3)  Motivate with before… Children will do little, if anything, without some motivation which will keep their energy up through the process of homework.  It is helpful to always remind them of something wonderful, lovely, exciting, or interesting that will follow.  “We will watch a short video when you are done!”  “I will serve an extra piece of cake to everyone who gets their homework done and corrected before Dad gets home!”  “You may have John over when you homework is done!”  You get the pattern. 

           Some children need more supervision and encouragement than others.  I know one mother who had a child that struggled with reading way past the normal time for children to “get it”.  However, she patiently worked each day with the child, helping her and motivating her with attention and encouragement.  It took longer to get the work done than most of her other children, but once this child understood reading, she turned out to be the best and fastest one of them all.  She hit her stride and off she went to become more independent, self-motivating, and creative than her mother could have ever expected.

          So set a time, set a place, get creative with motivators, and be patient with the “slower” one.  Soon homework routines will become a natural part of your children’s days and they will understand that you mean business when you say it is “homework” time.  And, they will be all the better students for your diligence.

          Good luck this next school year!  I know, because I have been there, that every day you help them get through their homework is one day closer to them turning out to be mature, delightful, creative adults (who will thank you frequently for being there during this critical time of their lives).

     Have a good week.   Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

August 1, 2005 - Moving Moments

          If there is a chance that you might move (but maybe not for a while), what do you do?  This very circumstance can happens to you from time to time.   You put your house up for sale knowing that the market is volatile and it might be months, it might be weeks, or it might happen tomorrow.

          And, in between times, what are you to do?  The pressures of moving are many, you need to be ready to be out of a house in 30 days or less, and yet you want to maintain a semblance of "ordinary living" in the meantime.

          May I suggest a successful plan for pre-packing and living out of boxes that works very well?

 1)  Begin gathering boxes.  They should be easy to open and close, stackable, and sturdy.  My favorite sources are those found at copy centers (copy paper boxes which are sometimes free for the asking) and produce boxes (usually free if you’re friendly with your produce stocker at the local grocery store).  Both of these boxes meet the requirements:  easy to open and close, stackable, and sturdy.

          If free boxes are not available, purchase the best you can afford.  Try to keep them the same size, shape, and durability.  This makes them easy to stack and store.

2)  Begin going through your closets and cupboards.  Discard and give away every possible item you really, really don't need.  You will be surprised how much you will pack, move, unpack and then wonder why you went to all that trouble when you could have just given it away now instead of later.  Be ruthless.  Give away, give away, give away!

3)  After your grand giveaway is done (good job!), put away items which you want to keep but which are not necessary to your every day living. These include treasures, less-read books (which should be kept in the smaller boxes so they will be easy to lift and move), craft supplies, out-of-season clothing, and unused toys. It is best to keep like with like.  Don't mix books, toys, fabric, and papers in one box because retrieving becomes more complicated.

4)  Label the boxes with large letters with a permanent marking pen indicating the contents.  It just might be you will need something before you actually move and you want to easily locate it.

5)  Stack these boxes along a bedroom wall, in the garage, or in the basement (if you are lucky enough to have one).  Try to keep all the boxes together.  This facilitates rummaging through them to find something you have packed.  If you pack someone's treasures, of course, there will be some mixing of items, but keep each person's items in separate boxes (even if some of the boxes aren't completely full yet).

6)  Start all over again packing more things away.  Once the first items are gone, you will still see many other things which really aren't necessary to your everyday functioning and could easily be stowed.

7)  Finally, for the third time, go through your house and pack away things which you really, really don't need.  This process makes your home look neater, bigger, and less-cluttered.  These are real benefits when persuading a potential buyer your house is just the right one.  A neat, orderly house is very appealing and besides, with this all this pre-packing you have half of your packing done and you will have far less housework.

    Good luck with your potential move.  Remember, when the decision to move is made, begin packing NOW!  (There will be enough stress making arrangements, renting a truck,  and finding a new place to live.  Don't let packing be part of the problem.  Instead make it part of the solution.)

    Have a good week.   Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

July 25, 2005 - Organizing for the Next Reunion this Reunion! 

          I attended a family reunion this last weekend.  It was a gathering of extended family from all over the United States and Canada, all descendants of my husband’s maternal grandparents.  I learned several important things during this three days which might help next time you have a family reunion. 

     1)  Seize the moment.  Have an extra copy of the current name, address, and phone number list which every participant can check for accuracy so preparing the list next time will be faster and easier. 

    2)  Always, always, always take pictures while you can.  Also, make notes about people you particularly connected with during your visit.  For myself, I met people I have never seen before and some of them I particularly enjoyed being around, including a judge who is also a mother of three, an elementary teacher who is now a stay-at-home mom, and a woman that is contemplating the responsibility of having her mother-in-law live in her home soon.  We were kindred spirits of sorts and it will be nice to contact them again soon.  Being able to network, even with your extended family members, can bring great benefits down the line when you face the same problems or have children who are going through challenges.

    3)  Prepare for the next time now.  Make up a file entitled, “Family Reunion July 2005” and keep in it several things: 

    a)  Keep the schedule of this year’s reunion showing the specific places where you gathered, the games you played, the songs you sang, and a short list of what program items were included.  It will save you a lot of time when it is your turn.  Instead of wondering, you will just turn to your file and have this important information in front of you.

    b)  Make brief written notes delineating your opinions about what happened and how you might do it different next time:  “the DVD slide show was great because they added music”, “the lunch was delicious except for that one purple salad”, “the name tags were prepared in triplicate and distributed every morning to keep things sorted out which worked wonderfully”.

    c)  Gather information regarding the professionals that smoothed the way:  the company that made up the t-shirts, the printer that compiled the attractive address book, and the company that prepared the slide show DVD.

    4)  Tie up the loose ends.  For instance, make sure you know how long everyone is staying so you can say good-bye to everyone.  In our case, some of the relatives left a day earlier than I had expected and I didn’t get to say my “love yous” and “hope you enjoyed our time together” and “I hope we will see each other again”.  The last morning they were just gone and I am left empty and sad.  Also, make sure you say thank you do those that made it happen when you say your last good-bye.  Next time you might need their advice….

    I know you are wondering why I am discussing the preparation of the next family reunion even while you enjoy this one, but its important because soon it will be your turn.  So seize the moment, keep good notes, take plenty of pictures, and tie up all the loose ends.  These reunions don’t happen often enough and its so easy to make preparations now which will save time, trouble, and hassle the next time around.

    Have a good week.   Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

July 18, 2005 - Organizing for Heat, Chaos, and Drag

          I have received several emails from you indicating growing challenges because of the summer’s heat, the chaos from having children all around all the time, and the drag which seems to attend mid-summer housework routines.

          May I suggest three ways to overcome this heavy load?  There are specific skills to change, improve, and adjust to make summertime just a bit more pleasant and endurable.

 1)  Have plenty of “easy” things to serve at meals.  This means stocking up on meals which take little time and effort and then preparing dinner in the morning (when the house tends to be cooler).  I encourage you during these hot, hot days to have more meals that are “heat the meat” and put over taco chips or hamburger buns or tator tots than having oven-baked enchiladas, lasagnas, and crock pot meals.  There is no need to make the afternoon kitchen hotter than usual.

 2)  Have a certain part of each day which is “quiet” time.  This siesta time, usually one or two full hours after lunch, is when each child is left to do his own thing alone (which usually means that you can do something alone, too).  No friends, no interruptions, no movies, and no phone calls.  You may read, draw, do a craft, or stare at the ceiling from the comfort of your bed, but the house is kept quiet!  This provides a respite from the hectic infighting and traumatic interplay which is so much a part of living on top of each other (and which is aggravated by the heat and the long days, whether or not you have air conditioning).

          When the one/two hours is done, back come the friends, away go the kids for a splash through the sprinklers, and out comes Mom to return to her homemaking duties.  Everyone is refreshed and ready to finish out the day.  Try it before you laugh.  It really works!

 3)  In addition to beginning your school supplies, school clothes, and school shoes shopping lists, may I suggest that whatever grocery shopping or errands you may need to do, you do first thing in the morning.  The day is different then, less hot, more calm, and because you are “fresh” decision-making is easier, the kids are more tolerant of each other, and you will be back home and safe from the sun before it really gets too hot.

           In a couple of weeks, it will be time to really settle down to getting the kids ready for school, but for now, prepare light, easy meals right after breakfast, set aside “quiet” time each afternoon for your family, and always, always run errands and grocery shop early.  Your summer mood will improve and you will get through it nicer, easier, and with a happier family!

Find more helpful ideas in the House of Order Handbook.

July 11, 2005 - Feeding the Neighborhood

I received the following email which I would like to share:

Dear Marie,  

           I have a question.  Do you have any advice about dealing with snacks and meals for children’s friends during the summer?  Let me explain.  I have two sons that are 7 and 8.  On our street there are 12 boys in that age group, (and that doesn’t include girls!) I like to give them inexpensive snacks during the summer, like bubble gum, Popsicles, popcorn, suckers, etc., and I also feed them lunch if they are at our house at lunch time.  However I have noticed that the numbers are growing and I’m feeding more and more children.

          Some of the neighbors do the same thing, but others seem to be perfectly happy to have their children eat over and never reciprocate.   I want to be charitable and kind to the children, but it’s getting to be time consuming and I find myself having negative feelings about it.  I’m also having trouble explaining to my children why it is not appropriate to bring all the kids home for lunch or to go over to the neighbor’s house and ask for food. 

          I would really like to hear your opinion on this subject. 

Dear Anonymous:

One thing must be born in mind:  YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!

1)  All things must be done in order, with moderation, and with a pattern.  Otherwise you are going to be feeding the whole neighborhood and then some EVERY day.  And your resentment will grow and grow.  Besides, there is no easy method to appropriately and completely be compensated by others (so don’t plan on it).